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Paki(October 2013)

In this podcast Paki talks about growing up in Nelson and being gender fluid.

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This podcast was made possible through generous support from the Rule Foundation


This podcast, titled "Paki - South," captures an individual's experiences on gender fluidity, growing up in Nelson, Aotearoa New Zealand during the 2010s. The reflection covers various aspects of the transition between sexual identities and the societal perceptions that accompany such experiences.

The individual in the recording identifies as gender fluid, which they find more encompassing of their evolving identity, rather than being confined to a singular label. A key aspect highlighted is the fluidity of both sexuality and gender identity, describing it as a changing and dynamic process rather than fixed states.

The podcast delves into the challenges faced during the transition between different identities, touching on the confusion and difficulty in coming to terms with one's evolving self. These obstacles, however, are described as different from those faced when transitioning from straight to gay, indicating that the societal acceptance and documentation of such transitions may differ.

A personal account reveals that the individual had not met anyone else who openly identified as gender fluid, and insights are shared on how the concept of changing sexual identity may be similar to gender fluidity. The podcast explores the internal and external journeys involved—such as the liberation felt after coming out, the cessation of bullying faced prior to the revelation, and the lingering social anxiety in various settings.

The narrative recounts the support received from community groups, such as Q Youth in Nelson, which provided a safe space for self-expression and conversation about various queer experiences. Workshops and hui offered a collective environment to discuss topics ranging from coming out and spirituality, to being gay overall—creating an emotional impact and aiding in personal development.

The individual also discusses their own journey of realizing their sexuality and gender identity, which was not a sudden revelation but a gradual understanding. Despite being somewhat reticent in disclosing their identity in general conversation, they find that their androgynous appearance often speaks for itself, negating the need for verbal affirmation.

Analyzing the wider societal context, the individual reflects on the lack of media representation for transgender and gender fluid individuals, noting the common stereotypes around gay and lesbian identities. They underscore the importance of providing diverse narratives and visibility to diminish societal confusion and fear surrounding non-conforming gender identifications.

The conversation reveals the challenges young queer individuals face in New Zealand, emphasizing discrimination as a formidable obstacle and the need for strength and self-assurance amidst societal critique. While acknowledging the struggles, the individual also expresses optimism for increasing acceptance and a transformed societal landscape for queer individuals in the decades to come.

The interview concludes with the person's appreciation for the uniqueness of their identity and the joy derived from being an alternative, young, queer individual in New Zealand, celebrating the distinctiveness that comes from being different.

This summary is created using Generative AI. Although it is based on the recording's transcription, it may contain errors or omissions. Click here to learn more about how this summary was created.

Record date:4th October 2013
Interviewer:Tabby Besley
Location:Nelson, Aotearoa New Zealand
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Archive:The master recording is archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library (OHDL-004261).