In this podcast Emma and John talk about their daughter / father relationship.
Summary
In this interview, John Kelly and his daughter Emma-Jean Kelly reflect on their family relationship and changing social attitudes toward sexuality in Aotearoa New Zealand. John recalls realising he was gay as a teenager in the 1950s, when homosexuality was illegal and never discussed. He later married a woman he loved, had three daughters, and after the marriage ended, raised them on his own. Although his wife knew he was gay before they married, he says it was impossible to be open about it at the time.
John describes living discreetly for many years until he met a male partner and decided to live more openly. Emma remembers her father as both mother and father to her and her sisters, and says they used to joke that he was the only good heterosexual man they knew. When he came out to her by playfully calling himself “a fairy” while visiting her workplace, she felt proud and happy.
They talk about the differences between growing up on the North Shore and being part of Auckland’s gay and lesbian communities, and how social attitudes have evolved. Emma reflects on her own experiences at university in the 1980s and 1990s, when she was surrounded by feminist and lesbian friends, and says her father’s openness helped her understand sexuality and identity in more inclusive ways.
John discusses the challenges of being a single father, learning to sew and cook, and teaching his daughters honesty, kindness, and confidence. Emma remembers him as nurturing and supportive, someone who encouraged her to stand up for herself.
The interview explores generational shifts in acceptance, from secrecy and stigma to public visibility through events such as the Hero Parade, the Big Gay Out, and Pride. They also discuss the Marriage Amendment debate, differences between gay and lesbian experiences, and how older gay people relate to younger generations.
John says he has been fortunate to face little discrimination and that his family and friends have been accepting. Emma notes that his coming out also made it easier for one of her sisters to come out later. Together they reflect on their shared oral history work interviewing older gay men, and the skills and understanding they have learned from each other.
The conversation ends warmly, with Emma praising her father’s empathy and listening skills, and John admiring Emma’s intelligence and curiosity. Both agree on the importance of living authentically, without regret, and continuing to have open, honest conversations with one another.
This summary is created using Generative AI. Although it is based on the recording's transcription, it may contain errors or omissions. Click here to learn more about how this summary was created.
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Tags
1950s, 2010s, 95bfm, anne speir, aotearoa new zealand, aquarius club, auckland, australia, big gay out (auckland), children, civil unions, coming out, divorce, emma-jean kelly, family, feminism, fifth season garden group, frankie hill, friends, gardening, gay, girls own show (95bfm), hero (auckland), heterosexual, homosexual, in the pink (95bfm), john kelly, language, lesbian, mainstreaming, marriage, marriage amendment act (2012), marriage equality, naturist magazines, north shore, older age, oral history, oscar wilde, parents, pride, pride parade, public display of affection (pda), relationships, research, saunas, sydney, values, welby ings
Tags (computer generated)
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