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So tell me a little bit about yourself. Yeah. My name is Nick. I and I I don't know what you want to know. Anything. Um, what's your interests? My interests. I like cars. Hang out with mates, movies, drinking, [00:00:30] dancing. Uh, I don't know. That's about it. Really? So whereabouts, are you born here in Auckland and still hanging around? Yeah. No. I moved to Sydney when I was five when I was 10 and then moved back here. This is where our family is. So OK, So how old are you? 24. So, what's your gender identity? [00:01:00] Gay. Is your sexuality identity or What do you mean, male and your culture? I So, um, when did you realise that you were gay? Um, I suppose I had feelings when I was, like, Probably about 11 and intermediate, But I didn't come out till I was 15. [00:01:30] So how how How did you realise? How did I realise? Um I don't know. I just, like, started having sexual feelings towards other guys at my school and friends. And that's why I just experimented a bit and realised that that was what I liked. I didn't find girls attractive at all, even at a young age. Yeah, [00:02:00] I've never found them attractive at all. So when you realise what was the first point that I was like, Oh, my God. What realised that I was gay, like, um, I don't know. I just kind of it just sort of happened, I suppose. I. I used to work somewhere where one of the other workers who was a bit older than me was gay. And [00:02:30] we used to, like, sort of flirt and all that sort of thing, like nothing sexual. But it just sort of I suppose that was, like, a real awakening and made me realise that I am gay. Open new doors to you. Yeah. So how did you feel when you came to realise it? How did I feel when I came to realise I was gay Or when I accepted that I was gay realising, [00:03:00] I don't know, I really don't know. It's like a maybe a bit confused. But how about when you accepted it? And I accepted it. I felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. And then everyone was like, Oh, we always thought you gave I wondering when you were going to come out. And I was like, Oh, great. If only I had no one. So, um, did you feel that you had to keep [00:03:30] a secret at all beforehand? Yeah. Um, I guess I just didn't really know how people would react. I hung out with, like, a lot of really straight people that were like, You know, you're a real typical straight bloke, bloke type people. And so I guess I just didn't really know if they'd be accepting of it or not. Hm. So did you [00:04:00] feel that, um, all your friends was gonna go against you at all? Yeah, sort of. But I'm quite a strong person. And so I just you know, when I finally decided that it was the, you know, the time to tell people, I, you know, sort of just came to the conclusion that I sort of know who my real friends are and who they aren't. So when you experimented, how old were you when you first did it? [00:04:30] Uh, 11. 12 I. I have I have a memory of, uh, kissing another guy in school when I was, like, in primary school in Australia when I was probably about six or seven, but I don't know. I mean, was he a friend of yours? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. But not like a Hey, you're a boy. I'm a boy. I like you. [00:05:00] Yeah. No, it was more just, like, just one of those things that wasn't like a thing. I don't think I knew at that age, you know, that I was actually interested in boys. That just sort of happened. Whoops. So, um, you're out of the closet, right? Yeah. So who are you out at the moment? So does everybody know? Yeah. Everybody knows. I I'm not ashamed to tell people or, you [00:05:30] know, if I'm talking to my clients at work, I You talk openly about gay issues myself being gay partners that I've had. Do you get a lot of gay people at your work? Yes, a lot of a lot of closeted ones and a lot of openly gay ones. The ones that just come up to you starting with you randomly. Um, I have a few of them. They're normally the older guys. It's a little bit scary. [00:06:00] So when you first came out, was it to your parents or friends? um I actually discussed with one of the guys that I used to work with who was actually straight, and he kind of told me that, you know, it's the sort of right thing to do to come out and everything. So he kind of prepared me and, um yeah, I. I came out properly, first of all to my mom because I thought that, [00:06:30] you know, like, she has the right to know. Before I start telling friends and other family members, What was the general reaction from people? Oh, they seem to be pretty cool. But they were like when I told my mum, um, I was crying and I told her that maybe she would just sit down and she was busy cooking. And she's like, No, no, I don't need to sit down. Just, you know, what is it? What do you want? And, uh and, um, I said, [00:07:00] you know, Mom, don't tell you I'm gay. And she said, Really, is that you're gonna tell me? I said, Yeah, Yeah, she goes, Oh, so you're gonna tell me on drugs or something? So she was pretty cool with it, And all my other friends are cool with it, and I, to be honest, haven't lost any friends at all from coming out. Well, it's a good reaction from a mother for someone to say, Oh, that at all. Yeah, she's pretty cool. She's open minded. It's, uh, [00:07:30] the main thing. That's good. Is that the general reaction that, um, people usually get when they come out of the closet? Mhm. So, um, how about so what about other people apart from your friends and your mother's mother that I've told you mean what's their reactions? Um I mean, they've all been good. I have, Like I said, I haven't [00:08:00] had a a really a bad experience with it. And, uh, I haven't lost any friends or or anything from being gay or coming out. Um, I guess I've gained more friends. How did you feel when you came out? Uh, when I told my mom I was really emotional, I was just, like, quite upset. And I guess I just wasn't really sure what her reaction would be [00:08:30] and didn't want to disappoint her. Uh, a lot of our family is, um, females. So there's only myself and my older cousin and granddad and uncle So four of us are males, and there's about 16 females. So I sort of I guess I felt like she was losing her son, But, jeez, seemed to be cool with it. And, you know, over the years, we've, [00:09:00] you know, growing together and got used to it. Talk about a hormonal hormonal family, a hormonal family. All my family is crazy. God, I can just imagine a family full of females. Yeah, you don't want to imagine it. It's really horrible. Yeah. So, um, what was the support that you get [00:09:30] the support? Um, yeah, it was good. I everyone's been supportive. When I was younger, I got into drag and, uh, people, you know, like my grandparents used to be quite supportive. But, you know, I mean, I was young, so I wasn't really sure you know, all about all about all that sort of thing. Like I was only, like, 16 [00:10:00] or 17. And, um, you know, my grandparents used to take me like shopping for drag clothes and makeup and fake eyelashes, and, um, you know, big stilettos and things like that. So I suppose you know, that's quite supportive and everything. It's not like everybody has parents or grandparents or other family members that do that sort of thing for them. What was the age What was your age when you came out to your mother? [00:10:30] Yeah, a very young age. No, I think it's a good age. And I talk to people online or in person. And, uh, you know, like they only just come out or being gay is a new thing to them. And they're like, 21 22. And to me, that's like Seems like quite a late age to come out. I don't know these days anyway, it's quite more accepting, like you find that there's a lot more [00:11:00] younger gay people around than they used to be, anyway, I think just sort of it seems to be a bit more accepted. Um, not fully, but a bit more. So. You've been in relationships before, right? Yes. So, um, has you coming out affected your relationship at all? What do you mean? Well, there are some people about some people aren't actually in yet. Some [00:11:30] people are in some people. Well, sometimes you being out can actually affect your relationship. Has that really ever affect your relationships? No. I I go. I only really go out with people that are open about being gay and accepting of themselves. I just think that it's the type of person that I am. That's too much work to be with, someone who's closeted or not fully, [00:12:00] uh, open to their sexuality. So I I wouldn't really put myself in the situation of dating someone. Um, especially long term. Who's not comfortable with themselves. OK, so how do you meet other people? Uh, I meet people through my work. I meet people online through Facebook grinder NZ dating man [00:12:30] hunt. And I don't go on that one. The clubs through other friends. Hm? Yeah. So you're pretty as social queen, and you be like, No, I'm not a queen. It was just a play of words for myself, but yeah, he was just a very social. Yeah, I'm quite social. I mean, I'm a little bit shy at first, but once I sort of warm up, I'm quite sort of chatty and easy [00:13:00] to get on with and, you know, introduce myself to other people and everything, so I find it easy to make friends. So what's your definition in virginity? No, definition in virginity because a lot of people, both religiously and non or spiritually or non, that believe in different ways of virginity. Some people believe that virginity is if you do any sexual sexual [00:13:30] thing at all, you lose it. Or if you have penetrative sex, you lose it. And some people think you can get it back in a way. So what's your definition and virginity? Yeah, like with being gay. You mean like obviously like anyway? Well, I don't know. I'm so [00:14:00] confused. Um, I don't know. I have to think next the bell questioned. Um, So, have you ever experienced or received any abusive behaviour or abuse because of your sexuality or gender identity? You mean like gay? Yeah. Uh, no. Nothing [00:14:30] at all. No, I'm quite a strong person. I. I mean, you know, someone's gonna dish it out or dish it back. I I'm I'm, um Yeah. I've always been, like, quite a thick skinned person. I. I don't really, um, get upset. Easy. Uh, you know, if people are saying things or being dis disrespectful in any way, I don't get upset [00:15:00] where I feel depressed or anything like that, You know, It doesn't. Yeah, I I'm I'm quite a strong, strong willed person and and strong person in general. OK, so that's the end of the interview. Um, is there any other comments or any other questions you want to want me to ask? Um, not good enough. If you want to ask anything, you can. OK, Thank you for an interview. Thank you.
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