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[name withheld 4] - Q12

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride and [00:00:05] How are you today? I'm good. Thank you. Okay, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? [00:00:11] Well, I'm 20. Gay. Not fully out yet, but getting there. I'm just trying to find a way to tell the rest of my family that I'm completely and utterly homophobic. But I'm dealing with a thing is my immediate family likes of my two brothers, my mom and dad's currently no, but [00:00:38] my mom is the only one that doesn't really give a toss. [00:00:43] Yeah. [00:00:44] So what do so where are you from? [00:00:47] I am born and raised in Nelson, New Zealand. But I have lived in Wellington Hamilton tower on the end, Pyro [00:01:00] and Oakland for the week kings going back in about an hour and a half [00:01:08] times. [00:01:15] So what do you do? So what is your occupation? [00:01:18] My occupation is currently employed I work for [00:01:23] do this right. So you [00:01:27] know, I work in the depot and also occasionally do [00:01:31] deliveries as well. So you're not delivering for? Well, yes. [00:01:39] Yeah, I do it part time long call when I'm needed pretty much, which is at the moment, about every week. [00:01:49] Okay, so you're 20 right. Yes. [00:01:54] What gender do identify with [00:01:58] I'm a male [00:02:04] or cultural do did [00:02:07] I identify myself as a kiwi or a New Zealand European? [00:02:17] And your sexuality is gay? Yes. So when did you first realize [00:02:23] well, I started realizing something was up when I was eight. And my first sexual gay experience was at four with a my best friend at the time. [00:02:36] And the male toilets a kindergarten as open as a walls and [00:02:45] I realized something was up at the age of eight. So I saved and I realized [00:02:51] more that I was heading towards gay at the age of 12 and stage at the age of 14 gay [00:03:00] so when your age How did you realize [00:03:06] just the fact that all my mates were [00:03:09] starting to look between like it more females and I was concentrating on more males. [00:03:17] So the jury have feelings for any of your friends at the time or anything? [00:03:22] Yes, I does. And great thing about the swimming time is everyone at that age ends up stripping naked Sorry, I [00:03:34] I [00:03:34] pretty much had had a field day with Pervan [00:03:44] as the other guy shakes his head in the back of the room [00:03:55] that [00:03:58] when you realize that you had to feel that. So actually, now the those actually answer the question because you [00:04:04] kind of [00:04:06] you feel like it's a you have to keep it a secret at the moment. And not so much. No, but [00:04:12] just some of my family. I want to find a way to break it to them myself. Know, anyone else tell them like [00:04:23] when my [00:04:26] other family found out through Facebook, because I'm not ashamed. But on Facebook, they can go onto my page and and have a look whatever. And yeah, they found out from the end, my mom is the only one that actually came up to me and asked me and I told her everything and she's like, okay, that's cool. We're happy was who or what you [00:04:49] who or whatever you happy doing? Just be yourself. Just don't hide anything. [00:04:56] So your other family members Evanescence on Facebook trick [00:05:01] that you know being is my Facebook is actually set to private. So if I'm not friends with them, then they can't really check it. But my brother went on to my mom's page one principles. And that's where everything was checked out. [00:05:17] So [00:05:20] it became a little bit of a scramble day situation thing. [00:05:25] Yes. Considering I was the ain't always saying that I might say a few days and I was asked to come home immediately. I thought I was on the ship or something. But normally, they just wanted to talk to me about my sexuality, which [00:05:40] didn't end up happening anyway, because it was too awkward. [00:05:43] So it's age of a did you actually feel felt? It was a secret that you need to keep it a secret? [00:05:51] Yes, I did. But it's just just actually recently that I've pretty much known. No, given two shots, to be honest. And yeah, I've just been me. And I can't change being me. Really? [00:06:11] So did you ever thought that you had to keep her? Not horsey that did you for that? [00:06:20] That Oh my god, this is not the right thing, or [00:06:25] business normal or anything like that? Yes, I, I did actually think that and [00:06:32] through the stages of trying to figure out what was wrong with me, when really I realized there wasn't anything wrong with me. I was just different. I had a very, very [00:06:47] strong suicidal scenes, and through the stages of trying to figure out who and what I was, and if there was anything wrong with me, but really, there's nothing I'm just human. [00:07:01] Did you ever Um, so have you actually done physical abuse or physical harm to yourself? [00:07:07] In the past? Yes. But. [00:07:11] And recently, yes, but that's only because I do have mental [00:07:17] issues which I am getting sorted. [00:07:20] Okay. [00:07:23] How did you feel when you first realized? [00:07:28] Oh, that's a tough one. That was a long time ago. [00:07:35] Oh, I just felt happy, really, that I had finally figured out who and what I was. And yeah, now I'm just happy today. me. [00:07:48] So I out to all your friends or [00:07:52] not all the most. [00:07:55] So how do you feel about that? [00:07:57] So pretty heavy. just feels like there's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. [00:08:04] So how much support Do you have currently? Currently? [00:08:09] Not much, just the support of my mom really. [00:08:15] And just friends, as any organization that's in the area that you live, that helps you [00:08:25] know, the closest one will probably be working over and what better. [00:08:35] Okay, so, [00:08:36] have you actually be in a relationship with anybody? [00:08:40] Yes, I have. I just recently came out of one, when I found out that my ex boyfriend was actually cheating on me while I was sleeping in his feed, and he went to work with the bunny ears. [00:08:55] And yeah, I found out that he was sleeping at the time with about seven or eight different people in the community is so small one need that he realized it was that many there. [00:09:08] So [00:09:10] your was your relationship? A secret relationship? [00:09:14] Not sacred of such No. The immediate family knew but I I had to be straight dating and everything, which I am anyway, that [00:09:24] comes to you naturally. [00:09:25] Yeah. Like, I'm just me. I don't see why I should change. But I'm to the neighbors and people that weren't family. [00:09:37] I'd have to keep it a secret. Light around town. I couldn't touch him. I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't do anything. [00:09:45] Was that because you wanted [00:09:46] that? While he wanted it that way? He he wanted it that way. But I'm not really one to do public fiction, but at times I will. [00:09:57] Depending on the situation or where you are. That is a peek around or something like that. [00:10:02] Yeah. Like, if there's like a big group of like, other bi transgender guy, whatever. [00:10:12] People around, yes, sure. Why not? But if these just me and a bunch of people don't know that. I don't know how they going to read. react to it, then. [00:10:24] Yeah. So how does? [00:10:29] How does this affect your relationship with you partially being out? [00:10:35] I don't know. back then. [00:10:37] Back then, or when you're in the relationship? [00:10:42] I don't have a problem with it. Like, obviously only see him at home anyway, because I work in early hours of the morning anywhere from there. [00:10:56] Anywhere from the [00:11:00] to I am to that one team. I can work and yeah, I'm just I didn't see him anyway, during the day because he always said is his job to Dolan. Yeah. [00:11:16] So and the slight. When you think about No way, do you think he was taking off with other people when you're at work as well? [00:11:27] No being is I normally only work from about 2am to 6am. And then I'll go home and head still be sleeping in exactly the same position anyway. So yeah. It wasn't until the first time he dumped me, which was about five, six months ago. Roughly, I'm guessing. And [00:11:53] yeah, it wasn't too thin that he actually started cheating. [00:12:00] How do you meet other faithful [00:12:04] as he takes a sip of his drink [00:12:08] other people just people that he knew that will buy biocurious or gay in the community as well. [00:12:17] So you bitch people for your past relationship? Yes. How about like going through and going on Instagram or Facebook or anything like that? [00:12:28] What do you mean? Like do you meet other people? for their? Yes, yes. On very much one of the social networking. We not have the time that I'm usually I'm just quite close to my current friends, but I'll go to different places and go to make new people. Friends. [00:12:57] old boyfriend, what? Well, he becomes. [00:13:00] So what's your definition? And virginity? virginity. [00:13:09] I reckon that's when you actually have [00:13:13] six is when you lose up. [00:13:17] What you can do for play by [00:13:23] everything else, but seeks and still be a version. [00:13:31] Okay, [00:13:31] so have you experienced or received any abuse from anyone? [00:13:39] Because of your sexual sexuality or gender? I'd say [00:13:44] I have done it in the past. Yes, but not so much now being is I think it was more of like a joke. Because they didn't actually know. But now that I've came out so them or hence it about it as just based off. So do you have any [00:14:05] other questions you want me to score? you have any comments? [00:14:11] No, not that I can think of at the moment. No. [00:14:13] Thank you for the interview. You're welcome.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It is not a transcript, it has not been checked by humans and will contain many errors. However it is useful for searching on keywords and themes.