The title of this recording is "Snapshot 2000 - Scott". It is described as: Scott talks about coming out and first sexual experience. It was recorded in Australia, Oceania on the 16th January 2000. The duration of the recording is 14 minutes, but this may not reflect the actual length of the event. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. A brief description of the recording is: In this podcast Scott talks about coming out and first sexual experience. The content in the recording covers the 1970s decade. A brief summary of the recording is: This recording captures Scott's personal journey and reflections on their experiences of coming out and navigating their sexual identity in the context of family and society during the 1970s in Australia. Scott, the speaker in the recording, recounts their early recognition of their attraction to the same sex, the challenges faced during their school years due to their perceived effeminacy, and the pivotal moment of coming out to their mother at the age of 15. The speaker describes the profound moment of self-acknowledgment and the nerve-wracking yet empowering experience of revealing their truth to their mother, which led to an all-night discussion and marked a significant turning point in their life. Despite initial fears, Scott received unwavering support from their family, including from their mother, who took on the role of sharing the news with the rest of the family. Their father, though initially struggling to understand, eventually showed acceptance, further solidifying the support system around Scott. The narrative explores the contrast between the speaker's strained relationship with their father and brother, who were both sports-oriented, and their close bond with their mother, who was a source of learning and support. Despite the challenges of isolation and bullying at school, Scott reflects on the growth and self-acceptance that came with embracing their identity, leading to a transformation from a shy and isolated individual to a confident and outgoing person. The recording delves into the significance of Scott's first romantic and sexual experiences, highlighting the importance of mutual discovery and the formation of a secret but meaningful relationship with a schoolmate. It also touches on the role of community support through Scott's involvement with the Victorian AIDS Council, offering a glimpse into the broader social context and challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals at the time. Scott's journey is one of resilience and empowerment, marked by moments of vulnerability and the search for happiness and self-acceptance. They emphasize the value of making mistakes as part of the learning process, and the strength derived from overcoming adversity. Ultimately, the recording serves as a testament to the individual's path to happiness and the power of embracing one's true self. The full transcription of the recording follows.  It includes timestamps every thirty seconds in the format [HH:MM:SS].  The transcription begins:  Basically, it's been something that I've always sort of felt. You know, Um, I never felt like I was anything different. You know, I've always been interested in boys, you know, from a very young age. Um, I used to collect pictures out of magazines, and I like the teen magazines like Smash hits and all that sort of thing. I used to collect the boy pictures and stick them in a diary and hide it from my mum. I used to stick it in this little journal and put it in. Um, put it out of my bed. Believe it or not, it's a silly [00:00:30] place to put it. My mum might have found it at some stage. Um, yes. And I sort of started dancing and doing entertainment type stuff, singing and acting when I was, like, nine. And that brought me out of my shell a little more. Um, and it was actually I had a performance one night. Um, and I had to wear this really bizarre chequered costume and there were some guys in the audience that were giving me hassles. They were calling out stuff, and, um, from the audience and stuff like that And [00:01:00] then it was actually in the car on the way home where my mother actually said to me, She says, You gotta be careful, you know, you can get yourself into trouble and Ra Ra Ra ra. And it was at this point, um, I think I was, like, 15 and ah, I was sitting there and I was like, gripping the handle of the car. And I'm just like, Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My was in my throat. My heart was turning 500 times to the minute to the minute, and I just sort of it sort of came out with it. I just it felt [00:01:30] right, so and I was nervous as hell. So I just did it. And I said, Mom, I'm gay. And her first response was Are you sure? And I said, I said yes, and probably one of the most empowered comments I've ever had in my entire life. And from there, yeah, Mom and I that was like about 10 o'clock at night. I think Mum and I stayed up till four o'clock in the morning just talking. God knows what we talked about, but we sort of we set [00:02:00] up chatting all night. You know, I sort of That was the first time I really poured my heart out to my mum about how I was feeling. Basically, Um, yeah, And after that, I sort of sort of dealt with the rest of my family. I suppose, Um, I didn't wanna tell my dad to start with My dad and I have never really had a fantastic relationship. Um, I was always a mummy's boy, which sounds a bit a bit, Um well, not it's not too bad. [00:02:30] Um, yeah. I've never heard they had a good relationship with my dad. Um, my brother was a very sports oriented person, so and as is my dad, So they had the sort of father son thing that was going on, and I'm just like, Yeah, OK, they can have that. And I was a little mummy's boy, which made me the the good cook that I am. I must say, she taught me everything she knows. Um, yeah. So I didn't want to tell Dad at first. And then Mum being mom, she, [00:03:00] um, likes to talk her problems out, and, you know, and how she's feeling and and chat. So she ended up telling my dad and my dad was quite shocked. And then Mum proceeded to tell the rest of the family, my grandparents and all that sort of stuff, and she would just tell me that she told them and I'd be like, Oh, thanks for that. Hm. Great. So, I, I really I had I only had to go through it once, um, when I was 15, so that was good. And I've had the support [00:03:30] of my family the whole way. I've had not one negative response from, um from my mum. My dad. My dad didn't understand it at first. Um, and it took him a couple of years to actually connect with me on the subject. I think we were actually watching a a programme on television one day, and some they had some gay issue on it. And I got up to leave the room because I really wanted to watch it and go into my bedroom and watch into my [00:04:00] room. And he said he actually said to me, No stay. We'll watch it. And I sort of looked at my mum and I think I started crying and it was like, Oh my God! So that was sort of the first time for Dad anyway, and that would have been about three years down the track. But anyway, back to my, um, back to my family, I said, No negative response from either set of grandparents or aunties or uncles or cousins or anything. Um, when I told my brother, Now this is a very funny story. I told my brother and he didn't believe me. He's like, You're such a bullshit artist, [00:04:30] and I'm going go and ask Mum, That was my my first sort of response was Go and ask Mum. And then I put out the outrage magazines and I said, Have a look at this. Why would I have these? And he didn't believe me to at at the start, I went through a lot a very, very hard time at school. Um, part of that was because, yes, I was a little bit effeminate. Um, I did do dance classes and singing classes, and, you know, that came across in my body language because I was, [00:05:00] um Well, as we grow, we adapt and we take on different things. Um, And as we learn different things we become who The people who we become. And, yeah, school is pretty bad for me in terms of the name calling and that sort of thing. Um, I look back now, and I think I really didn't want to be at school because of that. And in terms of my education, I don't [00:05:30] think I took in as much information as I probably could have or should have, Um, because of the fact that I didn't wanna be there. I spent a lot of recess and lunch time walking around the school yard by myself, and I was very isolated as a child, which is which is odd now, because I'm I'm very much a people person now, and I'll walk up to anyone and say hi, how are you going? Um, and I'm not shy anymore, but I used to be very much so. I used to be very, very scared of what people [00:06:00] thought of me and how I was perceived. Um, and that that actually is the one thing I think I had to get over in terms of me dealing with my homosexuality was being able to say I am me and I'm me because of everything that's happened in my life. And it doesn't bother me what you think because I'm a very special person, you know? And that sounds like I've had therapy, but I've had none. I'm just a very, [00:06:30] very smart person who knows how to put two and two together. Um, but yeah, so school school, I've sort of written off. I'm now 23 and it's been since 94 since I've left school and I keep in contact with no one I went to school with. I've basically left my hometown and got out and made something of my life. And it's very funny that I I hear on the grapevine through three different people through my brother and his friends, that their older brothers and sisters who I went to school with [00:07:00] are like, now married and have three Children and all this sort of stuff at like 23 which is which is a choice they make. But, you know, I just think, having known these people and having known their potential, um, I think some of it's very sad, But some of it well, if they chose that, then good for them. My first sexual experience. Oh, it was hideous. I think it was. [00:07:30] It was in a shopping centre. Believe it or not, it was just I look back now and I think, how could I have ever done it? But it was my first sexual experience, and it is as vivid now as it is not vivid. Vivid is not the right word. It is clear now to me now, as it was then and I I actually went to the public toilet, and I had a note slipped to me under the wall that said, I would like help masturbating. Can you help me? And I was like, Ah, OK, being the naive young idiot that I was, [00:08:00] So that was my first experience under the wall of a bloody toilet block. So yes, Um, my first real love making experience, I would have to say, was with a guy I actually went to school with. Um, we always sort of hung out together, um, for about year seven onwards, and I got to about year nine and we sort of, you know, we're in his his [00:08:30] place after school studying one day. And, you know, one thing led to another. And I remember that very, very clearly. It was probably one of the most scary, scary experiences I've been through in terms of having all the nerves and all the the excitement and the, um yeah, all that stuff that goes on there and having that reciprocated from this person and having that combined [00:09:00] and like just having him touch me and and touching his skin was it was mind blowing it. Yeah, I've gone off to la la land now, Um, but it really was mind blowing. And we spent the next what, couple of years fooling around together. He was my first. He was my sexual partner for about three years. Um, we basically learned to do everything together, um, and explored our sexuality [00:09:30] together. So in a way, I was lucky that I had that I I look back now, and I say we weren't boyfriends. Um, I think we were more ah, lovers in a way. And we sort of discovered our bodies together and and do that sort of stuff. And I got to a point where where I came out and II I can't. I took that step and then everything sort of changed for me in my life. It wa wa was no longer a big secret that I had to sneak [00:10:00] around and and do all this stuff. I could be open about it with my family and, well, not so much my friends, because I kept it to myself at school. I didn't. People are less speculated, but I think the difference between people speculating people knowing is a very big jump. Many people know something instead of speculating it. Things change dramatically. So I always try to avoid We try to avoid that big dramatic [00:10:30] jump because I didn't want things to get any worse. Um, so in terms of yeah. So in terms of my first love making experience, um, I had it lucky. In a way, um, I still keep in contact with this person now, and he's still very much in the closet. And as we say, um, bad enough about him. It's his life. I did some, um, work with the Victorian AIDS Council. Um, [00:11:00] um, I used to be a facilitator for a drop in group, um, for under eighteens, and I've actually been through the whole coming out thing with a lot of a lot of young guys and because I was always, um, the one that was out and had the knowledge I had guys crashing at my house when their parents kicked them out. And I've seen so many people make so many different mistakes, and so many people make some very good decisions. And I think the best thing for me [00:11:30] to say to someone who's thinking about coming out and it's gonna sound like an absolute cliche it's to, um, just follow your heart and go with your gut feeling. You know, it's like things will change the minute you say it out loud and I, I suggest saying it out loud to yourself until you believe it. Before you say that loud to somebody else. Um, but, yeah, things things change, your life will change dramatically. Um, [00:12:00] I, yeah, been a very long journey to get to where I am today. Very, very long journey and a very hard journey. But I look back now and I think, well, would I change it? That's the one question I po I still pose to myself. Would I change any of it? And I I the answer that I come up with is No. Because if I, I was to change one little thing one itty bitty thing that happened, I wouldn't be the person that I am [00:12:30] today. I wouldn't be a strong willed emotional to get the person that I am. You know, we we all learn through our mistakes and through experience. And if you block yourself from feeling anything or doing anything you'll you'll never really achieve of happiness, I suppose, um [00:13:00] and I can honestly say, at 23 years old, um, that I am happy and finding finding that happiness, finding that place that makes me happy gets me through the bad times if something crops up or, um, I'm going through a rough time. If I'm feeling really lonely or, you know, I have to deal with the problem, it doesn't. I feel yeah, I fall down, but I don't fall as far. And I've got tools on board [00:13:30] to be able to pick myself up in a very confident way. And if I've made the mistake, I can admit to it and learn from it and go well, hey, I fucked up, but I won't do it again. And if I do do it again. I'll do it differently. And if differently doesn't work, I'll try it again and again and again. You know, nobody's perfect. Nobody's always right. Nobody's always wrong. You know. It's about [00:14:00] it's about the individual. It's about you being who you are And you choose to feel how you feel. You choose to be how you be. No one else can change that. They can have an impact on you. Yes. And they can influence you. Yes, but ultimately we make the We make the decisions in our life and we need to empower those and go inside of ourselves. I'm me. I love me. Yay! The full transcription of the recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 1970s ; Australia ; Coming Up ; God ; Out Loud ; People ; Snapshot 2000 ; Stuff ; The Closet ; acting ; artist ; audience ; blood ; board ; change ; children ; choice ; closet ; coming out ; connect ; council ; crying ; dance ; dancing ; diary ; difference ; education ; emotional ; entertainment ; face ; facilitator ; family ; friends ; grandparents ; happiness ; headaches ; hell ; individual ; journey ; knowledge ; ladies ; language ; love ; magazines ; mistakes ; performance ; public toilet ; sad ; school ; sex ; sexuality ; shopping ; singing ; support ; time ; touch ; work. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/snapshot_2000_scott.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089391. Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.