Thu 10 Feb 2011 In: Our Communities View at Wayback View at NDHA
At times we skip along blissfully unaware just how close we sometimes come to losing what we already think we have achieved. That may sound a little dramatic, but how much moderating of our own behaviour do we do out of habit. When was the last time you kissed your partner in the middle of the supermarket or walked hand in hand down the street at lunchtime? What are we afraid of? Straight people do it all of the time. Do we really have a choice, or are the potential outcomes of that choice still a little too horrific to contemplate. We like to think that being queer, or whatever label we choose, is better now because the law has changed and our relationships are recognised etc. And in some senses that is true; however we still have to carry the burden of heterosexism and homophobia. Sadly some of us in the community start taking on the homophobia and get uncomfortable with the blatant expressions of sexuality in public when we see it. Is it because we don't want to rock the boat? Some of these internalised messages make us say things like: “My sexuality is no one else's business and is only part of who I am.” Our sexuality shapes every single personal relationship we ever have. We come out (or choose not to) thousands of times in our lives; we select or avoid certain environments; we pick our friends according to how we think they will respond to us, we let hurtful ones drift away. We shape our relationships and interactions with work colleagues, family, and society through our sexuality. Whether we live as screaming queens or closet cases, make no mistake - we constantly blend, manipulate, filter, cover, lie and make choices that keep us safe. Creating options for ourselves is one of the most powerful things we can do to empower our lives. Is it good enough that currently some of the most basic instinctual things that we may wish to do as human beings are not really choices at all? What choice is there for me when I risk violence or derision because I decide to hold my partner's hand in a ‘public' place? I look forward to the day when our options are real and not moulded by fear. Options give us freedom, equity, power, purpose, affirmation and strength. The bubble we live in now is not as robust as we may like to think, perhaps the one choice we can make today is to smell the coffee and recognise that unless we stand up in numbers and make a stand, that this really is as good as it gets. - Vaughan Meneses is the General Manager of OUTLine. Vaughan Meneses - 10th February 2011