Search Browse On This Day Map Timeline Research Free Datasets Remembered About Contact

Gay parents can give kids the best of Mars and Venus

Sat 15 Oct 2005 In: True Stories View at NDHA

I'm sure my mother is secretly delighted that my relationship has recently come to an end. Her theory seems to be that every time I break up with a guy I might just see the light and decide I actually like girls. The mere fact that I will not have a Big Fat Italian wedding and spawn thousands of Big Fat Italian grandchildren for her to display proudly has long been a source of shame for her, in spite of her seemingly overbearing acceptance of the procreation predicament she finds herself in. She is one who subscribes to the fact that gay people just can't – no, actually, shouldn't – have children. Civil Union Bill and human rights aside, it's just wrong – enough is enough, blah blah blah. So, in order for me to produce the aforementioned grandchildren, I need to find a woman. As you can probably imagine, I'm not too keen on this idea. “I love you for who you are, dear, but a child needs a mother and a father – two dads or two mums just isn't right, dear,” is her keynote statement. Gay people can have kids. Not have them in the conventional sense obviously, but you get what I mean. It's hard and you get weird looks but it can happen. My (now-ex) boyfriend and I experienced this. We took his niece and nephew to Kelly Tarlton's. Two girls looked at us and smiled. One said "Look at those two single dads with their kids. That's cool." Her friend retorted "No, they're gay. Look at them." With the mention of the G word (almost swearing in some situations), everyone in the vicinity turned and glared at me as if the giggling blonde three year-old boy on my shoulders was in mortal danger. My fifth-form English teacher – a rampant butch lesbian from Illinois – adopted a child. Imagine this picture: two white women with a black baby girl. Doesn't take much to figure out that in that situation, the two most definitely did not tango. Now, most people presume there must be a religious basis for my mother's stance. This isn't exactly true – my mother is far from a regular churchgoer. She just thinks that for a child to grow up balanced it needs to have both a feminine and a masculine influence. This just shows her naivety I guess. Within the gay scene, there is every possible permutation of masculinity and femininity, mutually exclusive of gender. From guys with handbags to women in steel-capped work boots, you can pretty much find whatever you're looking for. Provided they have the right attachments down below – if you get my drift. My point is a child can definitely have a feminine and a masculine influence in its life from same sex parents. So many people think that gay parents will raise a child in a den of inequity, a valueless environment full of sexual perversion. I mean they're gay – they'll probably abuse the poor wee bairn. This is a stereotype we, as homosexuals, will forever fight against. It is so easy to condemn someone you disapprove of as a child molester and say they should never have children – but in a few years, everyone will have forgotten about Graham Capill and gay people will still be reviled for wanting to become parents. Reprinted from: Te Waha Nui newspaper, published by the Journalism Programme at the School of Communication Studies, Auckland University of Technology. Reproduced with permission.     Jonathan Williams - 15th October 2005

Credit: Jonathan Williams

First published: Saturday, 15th October 2005 - 12:00pm

Rights Information

This page displays a version of a article that was automatically harvested before the website closed. All of the formatting and images have been removed and some text content may not have been fully captured correctly. The article is provided here for personal research and review and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of If you have queries or concerns about this article please email us