Early on in my single life, I discovered that I could have the man of my dreams in my bed every single night. Yes, the man of my dreams was also the man IN my dreams, but that didn't make our sex life any less remarkable. Keep in mind that erotic dreams tend to be very "real" and concrete. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the sexual instinct is, by nature, practical and down-to-earth. Whatever the case, I've never had a hazy, ethereal dream full of symbolism about romantic transcendence. My erotic dreams are down and dirty, full of sweaty grunting and hard thrusting. I also tend to remember my erotic dreams. They don't fade away upon waking up, just as you don't forget a really good fuck from the night before. In lucid dreams, you are in control of the action. A part of you realizes that you are dreaming, and you become the director of your own porno movie. The details in my erotic dreams are always incredibly real--the masculine energy is literally tangible. One time, I dreamed that I had a two-foot-long cock. Defying gravity, it pointed straight to the ceiling like the proudest flagpole in dreamland. The really wonderful part (besides all the obvious really wonderful parts) was that I can vividly remember exactly what it felt like to slide my hand all the way down the shaft, feeling every contour, every bulging vein, the firmness and the warmth of the flesh. I literally experienced being super hung. It was the ultimate virtual reality. In another dream, I can remember exploring a man with my hands and feeling the texture of every single hair on his body. I sucked his cock for a while, and then he took my virginity by butt-fucking me unconscious. Yes, I really did lose my virginity while I was asleep, even though it sounds like something straight out of a Pedro Almodovar movie! Erotic dreams can be quite kinky and downright deviant. Remember, it's your dream, and if you are lucid then you can do whatever the fuck you want and fuck whatever you want to do. I admit that in dreamland I've fooled around with just about every man I've come across (come across, indeed), and that includes my father, my brother, an uncle or two, cousins, friends, friends of friends, ex-boyfriends, and total strangers. And no matter what we do together, I'm never sore in the morning! Needless to say, I don't practice safe sex in dreamland, either. I'm not sure condoms even exist there. Rubber certainly does, but that's another story. I must point out that erotic dreams aren't always perfect. You know those pissing dreams, where you're at a sleazy public urinal in dreamland (am I the only man who always dreams he's barefoot in these places?), and you just piss and piss but your bladder keeps feeling full? You either wake up realizing you need to relieve yourself, or you wake up to find that you ARE relieving yourself. Well, erotic dreams aren't like that. Sometimes I'll hump and hump my dream man, literally for hours, always right on the verge of cumming, but never quite able to get past the point of no return. That can be frustrating. However, one rarely stays on the edge for such long periods in waking life, so the extended sex and prolonged arousal can be wonderful in themselves. How exactly does a man have a lucid wet dream? I'll tell you my personal approach, but I also recommend a little homework: go to the library and check out some general books on lucid dreaming. There are actually several proven techniques for learning how to be consciously aware while dreaming. One of the classic techniques is to practice looking at your hand throughout the day. When that becomes a habit, you'll do it in your sleep, and that will trigger lucidity. In my case, I practice looking at my dick. If it's two feet long, I'm dreaming! Here's a tip you won't read in books: don't jerk off before you fall asleep. Yes, I completely understand how nice it is to release that last bit of tension and drift off to slumberland in orgasmic bliss. ("Lose some jizz and catch some Z's," one could say.) But if you do that, all your horniness energy will be spent and you won't take any with you. In other words, you'll have unplugged your dream man radar. Horniness is a state of consciousness. If you fall asleep in class you won't learn anything, and likewise if you aren't horny in dreamland you won't get laid. By all means play with yourself in bed, but stay highly aroused without shooting off. I personally like to hump a pillow. I'll hump it for a while, enjoying that feeling of being on the verge of sperming, and eventually fall asleep. That way I take the horniness energy with me into dreamland. Because my body is in a natural fuck position, with pressure still on my cock, I'll keep fucking the pillow on and off throughout the night as I dream. I believe my record is six orgasms in one night, which I know from the cumstains as well as how many dirty socks I groggily grabbed off the floor to wipe off the pillowcase. In all of my wet dreams, the orgasms have been physically real and manmilk gets spilled. When I got a boyfriend and was no longer single, my lucid wet dreaming didn't diminish. Now the only difference is I'll hump my man's hairy leg or belly instead of a pillow. This usually happens when I suck him off and we both drift off to sleep, because I don't lose my horniness energy. The way I figure it, no man is getting laid to his maximum potential, so why not take advantage of cruising opportunities in dreamland? I'll see you there! Abdul Hamid - 2nd August 2001