Experts believe gays and lesbians are being trapped in violent, abusive relationships by a code of silence around same-sex domestic violence. Jo Butler, who runs an Auckland-based programme for lesbian victims of domestic violence, says lesbians need to get real about the issue. "Nobody's talking about it, but until we as a community face up to this, then nothing's going to happen. It's really hard for women coming out with this if no-one wants to hear about it." The different dynamics involved in gay and lesbian domestic violence can complicate matters. Perpetrators could pass themselves off as victims in the relationship, or could maintain psychological control over a partner by threatening to "out" them. A lack of understanding from authorities who may dismiss such violence as "catfights" has led to under-reporting of incidents. Neville Creighton, director of Auckland's Gay/Lesbian Welfare Group, said part of the reluctance to acknowledge gay domestic violence was due to "a feeling our partnerships have to be bigger, better, brighter and safer than straight ones to be valid". It is believed that one-third of same-sex relationships are abusive, the same percentage as for heterosexuals.
Credit: GayNZ.com News Staff
First published: Monday, 27th September 2004 - 12:00pm