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Obituary: Stanley Waipouri, 1967-2006

Tue 23 Jan 2007 In: Community View at NDHA

Stanley Waipouri My name is Danny Delamere and my partner is Craig Young - a.k.a. Dazz. Stanley Christopher Waipouri, known to us as Stan,was born on the 11th of April 1967, and died violently on the 23rd of December 2006. I met Stan ten years ago, but Dazz has known him for the past fifteen years. I arrived in Palmerston North at 2.30 one morning, not knowing a soul, after my marriage of eighteen years had ended, and I was looking for a new life. Stan introduced himself to me as he had noticed that I was parked at the Square in Palmerston North for three days. At the time I was not aware of 'doing the beat' or 'cruising' - but that was what Stan was doing. He told me to park my van down his driveway at his flat, which I did. Eventually I moved into his spare room and this was how our friendship began. Stan introduced me to the Palmerston North gay community and in the process I met Dazz. I arrived in Palmerston North in my unwarranted, unregistered van with two apple boxes of belongings and a suitcase… and all that I have today is as a result of my friendship with Stan. I can never forget that... nor will I forget him. At each New Year's, Stan always turned up to wish us good cheer. This year was the first time he didn't arrive in person. Stan is a descendant of Maoridom's two largest tribes - Ngapuhi on his Dad's side, and Ngatiporou on his Grandmothers side. I connected with him on his Ngati-Porou side, as this is my tribe as well. Stan was a ‘Jack of all Trades' and a Master of None. He acquired his skills from the school of hard-knocks, which enabled him to be a valued friend. He had a mother, uncle, sister and brothers who loved him dearly, as did his nephews and nieces. Our two daughters aged 22 and 24 years, and our 18-year-old son also loved Stan, as did our three-year-old grandson. Stan was raised in Mangere, South Auckland, but considered Palmerston North to be his home, as this was the place, he told me, that he could be himself. He was a very patient person and took time out to really listen to what people were saying. Stan and his ‘friend' alcohol were just diabolical together. He took time-out for treatment, but never got the upper hand with that ‘friend'. There were numerous occassions when Dazz would turf him out of our house, but Stan would always come around the next day and say, "Hi Dolls - what's up?" He had a variety of jobs, but the one he enjoyed most was as a storeman at The Warehouse. The day he died, he was supposed to have started work for the Salvation Army. Stan was a very generous man and he had so many friends from all walks of life. He used to be one of our early DJ's at our local gay club MALGRA. He loved music, could sing, and could play a mean tune on a guitar. The one thing that worried me about Stan was his penchant for targeting 'straight' men - he just couldn't help himself. Often I would say to him to "be careful," just in case he got beaten up, but this didn't seem to sway him. He had a number of relationships over the years but his first relationship was very special to him and that person, Phil from Auckland, came down for Stan's tangi. We thank Stan's family for allowing us, who were strangers to them, to give Stan a memorable and wonderful send-off, and to allow him to lie in our house. We were informed that it would be better that we left his being dressed to the undertakers - to decrease the trauma that we were already confronted with - but we declined, through insistence and pure dog-headness. So we dressed our Stan and he looked wonderful. We would like to thank the Police for their kindness, professionalism, sensitivity and ongoing respect in their constant updating us of events and ensuring that we were fully informed with all developments. We had also been informed of some of the horror that he endured leading up to his death but we haven't dwelt on that at all. We no doubt have a long wait due to the jucidiary system, but will cross that bridge when we arrive at it. We will keep you informed of developments. At this stage police are still asking people around the place about Stan and his habits. I understand our local gay community is going to meet sometime soon to develop strategies that we may need to utilize for support and to handle the wider community. Stan was our friend, and even now I often expect him to knock at our door saying, "Hi Dolls - what's up?" * [Editor's note: Two young men have been arrested and charged in connection with Stanley Waipouri's death, the case is currently before the courts. Danny's partner is not columnist Craig Young]     Danny Delamere - 23rd January 2007

Credit: Danny Delamere

First published: Tuesday, 23rd January 2007 - 12:00pm

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