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Online Dating: Pimpin' your profile

Sat 30 Dec 2006 In: Living Well View at Wayback View at NDHA

When your thoughts turn to finding love… or just sex, here's some tips on how to make your dating profile more ‘clickable'! Your picture here Dating profiles with pictures on them are so much more likely to get results. But make sure it's a recent one… and one that actually looks like you! You're wasting your own time as well as other love-seekers' time if the picture you put up doesn't resemble yourself in the mirror. It's best to be honest about how you look – even if you're not the most confident of people, remember that sexual tastes can be very different… not everyone goes for muscles/youth/bronzed flawless skin. And being a nice, honest person can take you a long way. It might pay to ask a friend for their help in taking a nice picture of you – don't be embarrassed, chances are they've had a profile online themselves, and/or will get a vicarious thrill out of helping you find hotness. At least one 'face pic' is best. If that's a problem, pictures showing your favourite body part(s) are fine, but guys genuinely looking for a serious partner are likely to be put off by 'cock pics'! It's sometimes best to leave things to the imagination as much as you can. Remember you can ask for more pictures as part of getting to know each other before meeting. It's best to know what you're in for before you meet – and someone who's not forthcoming with pics could mean trouble, and nasty surprises later. About me How do you sum yourself up in a few short sentences? Taking care to fill in all those 'stats' items like age, weight, hair colour, location etc can tell people what they basically need to know, so this bit is your chance for them to get to know the ‘real person'. A good place to start is with what you like doing on your weekends. That way, someone can decide if they share your enthusiasm for the recreational activities you enjoy… that is, the ones outside of the bedroom! Above all, sound positive. Your profile is supposed to make people feel like it's OK to contact you, so avoid sounding too cynical or ‘over it'. And this is not the place to write dreadful things about past relationships or other people you've met online. Before posting any personal information, remember dating profiles are a public forum. Nobody needs to know your real name, workplace, phone number, home address, email address, or any other personal information that could be used to identify you until you are comfortable to share this information. Dating websites can and do review and remove this stuff, for your safety. What I'm looking for Here's where you can fantasize about your dream guy! Again, be honest, but concentrate on what you like. "I'm into European guys aged 20-30”, rather than "No old guys, no Asians" etc. That last one is 'sexual racism' which can make a whole group of people feel crappy about themselves – there's more information on this topic on the GayNZ.com link below. As well as the type of guy they like, many profiles also include detailed info about what they like to do in their 'sexytime'. Whether you're a ‘rough top', ‘demanding bottom' or anything in-between, if full-on sex is on the agenda, we strongly suggest you include the word 'SAFE' or 'CONDOMS' somewhere here! Remember it's yours and others' lives at risk if your sex isn't safe. Because you're reading this website, we're sure you're a smart kind of guy who uses condoms, but remember there are many on the net who aren't as knowledgeable as you, and they might need a little reminder about what goes on where. Meeting up Be polite and straightforward when messaging and chatting. Rudeness and mischief is just time wasting. If you're not into someone, a simple 'thanks but no thanks' is all that's needed. Guys might cyber-cruise when they're feeling their most vulnerable and lonely, or when they're high or drunk. If interactions seem odd, trust your instincts and seek your loving elsewhere. Going directly to someone's place to meet for the first time can leave you in a vulnerable situation if the guy proves to be a little different than what you expected! It really is best to meet in a public place first – as it's easier to make an exit if you feel uncomfortable. There are lots of wonderful guys online, but there are also some scary ones, so keep your wits about you. The Police are now trained to be gay issues aware so you can approach them with confidence if the worst happens and you're attacked or harassed. There are many genuine people online looking to find a loving, committed partnership. And there's also many genuine people online just seeking a quick sexy hook-up. You'll soon discover which are which! But no matter what you're looking for, in the immortal words of Jerry Springer: "Look after yourselves, and each other."     Matt Akersten - 30th December 2006

Credit: Matt Akersten

First published: Saturday, 30th December 2006 - 12:00pm

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