In the week since we published the results of our our ‘internet hook-up sting', a number of scenarios have been suggested to explain how hundreds of Kiwi gay and bi men seek unsafe sex on ‘dating' websites, regardless of the dangers of contracting HIV. Our investigation was prompted by soaring HIV infection rates in recent years and research that implicated the internet dating phenomenon. We uncovered a culture in which commitment to safe sex was shaky at best, with 25 of our sample of 30 respondents to 'Scottyboy' saying they were up for unsafe sex, or barebacking. Reader responses to our first article were immediate, either shocked by the trend we uncovered, or dismissive of it. “People are willing to risk catching HIV, or in fact any other STD, to have bareback sex,” said one of many posts on our messageboards. An email from Dan in Auckland said the sting was a definite eye-opener: ”It angered me, it confused me and definitely shocked me. Why do people let this happen? Do they just think the worst will always happen to someone else? Or are they so one-track minded that they don't care? It made me get rid of my profile, not that that will fix anything.” Steven, also in Auckland, wrote: “I think your discussion around the subject of Bare Backing is fucking fantastic. Thank god someone is willing to bring it out from behind closed doors into a public forum. Please continue your work in this area.” The NZ AIDS Foundation's Executive Director Rachael LeMesurier told us she's deeply concerned about the results of the sting - "however, regrettably, we are not surprised." Another messageboard post agrees: “I'm just wondering why this has come as such a shock. I've found it to be quite common knowledge, stupid, but common knowledge.” JUST FANTASY? But some readers assured us that the men who contacted our phony ‘dater' Scottyboy online were simply typing up their fantasies, which were unlikely to be acted upon. “It would be more of a concern if the young man actually met up with these people and had unsafe sex… as it stands this could all be fantasy,” said one messageboard poster. A reader from Sydney was even more succinct: “Congrats on ‘discovering that gay men like to talk dirty online - and, with respect - that's all you've discovered.” And another reader wrote: “We all say things on line that we don't mean and I think the majority of people were doing that.” However, GayNZ.com's researcher is sure he was in no way tapping into horny web-users' ‘cybersex' fantasy worlds. He is emphatic that the conversations he had with people online were very brief and functional: “I set up a profile along the lines of ‘wanting to meet up for no-strings sex'. It was very ‘matter of fact'. Instantly I started to get hundreds of emails. I replied to as many as I possibly could. Most of the conversations only lasted for two emails – no more than a sentence each. It was all very short and to the point – simple questions, simple answers: ‘Are you into bareback?' Yes or no. So it was not cybersex.” And a quick read of the published conversations leaves the inescapable impression that, if followed through by 'Scottyboy', any of these conversations could have resulted in a sexual encounter where unsafe sex was on the menu. Even if some encounters on the internet include elements of fantasy, how does a predilection for fantasy bareback sex relate to the real world when these guys meet up real time? If someone has built up a powerful and, to him, alluring fantasy of unsafe sex, then is he likely to become enamoured of that in real hookups? Douglas Jenkin, Team Co-ordinator at Gay Men's Health, a department of the NZ AIDS Foundation, says some people are able to have firm boundaries between fantasy and reality, but others are not. Sadly, the consequences for someone whose fantasy becomes reality can easily be HIV infection. Jenkin and his co-workers have spent much time cruising the shadows of internet dating siters, observing the to and from of hook-up culture. He hints at another factor which might be at work in some cases... risk taking, or the 'Jackass' factor. “Some might find the idea [of bareback sex] exciting because it's "forbidden fruit", eroticising what they have been told not to do for so long,” he says. “Some men might even try to be 'tougher than the rest' and think it's more masculine to take chances,” he explains. ‘DATING' WHEN YOU'RE HIV POSITIVE ‘Robert', 40, was diagnosed HIV positive last year. Since then he has used two separate profiles on dating websites. “One is an ordinary, everyday profile which doesn't mention HIV at all," he says. "I get lots of hits on it from guys saying ‘you're really hot – wanna hook up?” The other is Robert's ‘HIV positive profile', which he describes as "quite activist." “It says ‘this is who I am, this is what's happened to me, and this is why you should be safe'. My experience with that profile has been 70% supportive – guys message saying ‘good on you', ‘keep the fight against HIV going' and stuff. The rest of the messages are either abusive, or ignorant. One was incredibly offensive, saying – ‘you got what you deserved'! Robert knows of other guys "who've said they're HIV positive in their profiles, and have taken them down because of the abusive messages they get.” The men sending messages to Robert's ‘open about his HIV' profile often ask questions, he says. “After a while it gets a bit tiring. They ask some really stupid questions. I've had people ask me ‘can you catch it through kissing?' Old myths that are still around after twenty-five years! Or I get difficult questions like ‘is the risk any different being a top to being a bottom?' One of my favourites was ‘if he just sticks the tip of his penis in, does that mean I'm safe?' which is a huge misconception.” Robert's convinced that around half the guys looking for guys on New Zealand dating websites are outside the ‘gay scene'. “They don't go anywhere that's anything to do with ‘gay'. They don't go to bars, saunas, or sex-on-site venues, don't read gay newspapers or magazines, they're just not in the gay catchment at all. Perhaps they don't have the self-esteem to be part of the scene," he says. “Often they're not socialised – they don't know how to ask for, or negotiate sex, and they don't know how to behave appropriately sexually either. They really don't understand the risks, and are uncomfortable talking about sex... the assumption that often gets made is that everyone on these websites has a good level of education – and it's just not the case. I think it's become a convenient way for people who want to experiment with a gay experience to meet. Instead of going to a park, for example.” Robert also has concerns about people are using the word ‘clean' to mean ‘HIV negative'. “It's very vague. I can see there might be positive guys out there who might find that quite amusing, because they could technically answer that they were ‘clean'. I don't know how it would stand up in court. It's such an ambiguous term. “Also, a lot of people just aren't getting tested for HIV. Many don't want to be, because they're scared of what they might find out.” FREQUENT DATERS LESS COMMITTED TO SAFE SEX Peter Saxton, Senior Researcher at the AIDS Foundation, says our investigation confirms early results from this year's Gay Auckland Periodic Sex Survey and the Gay men's Online Sex Survey. “When we compared the two survey samples, the men recruited online had significantly lower HIV knowledge, had more problematic attitudes to HIV and safe sex, and were less likely to have ever tested for HIV.” Saxton says an unexpected finding was that men who logged on more than once a day to look for sex displayed the most worrying attitudes to risk. Over 1 in 4 men (27%) who were high frequency online users agreed with the statement “I would sometimes rather risk HIV transmission than use a condom during anal sex”, compared to just 9% of men recruited offline in gay bars, social events and sex venues. At the same time, men recruited online were twice as likely to be unaware that “once infected, HIV remains in your body for life”. Preliminary results of the survey research confirm that rates of unprotected sex are also substantially higher among men recruited online. Saxton notes that “overall, the men recruited online don't appear to have benefited as much from the usual ways resilience is built and maintained among gay and bisexual men, such as peer support." He says many were socially removed from other gay men "and showed fewer signs of knowing sexual 'tricks of the trade', such as not assuming someone's HIV status, even if you've built up rapport or they insist to you they're HIV negative or ‘clean'.” As for the perception that guys found on the internet are likely to be less 'scene' or less sexually experienced and therefore less likely to be infected with HIV and therefore a safer bet for a hook-up, Jenkin reminds us that “men have always managed to have sex with each other with or without the benefit of the scene. What the internet has done is allow men who previously had no way of contacting each other to hook up at any time or day of the week.” Past NZAF chair and now a researcher and master's student at Auckland University, Michael Stevens is working on a master's thesis examining the increasing use of the internet by gay men and the implications this new social environment has on the spread of HIV/AIDS. THE ROLE OF THE INTERNET A picture starts to emerge of more men having more sex due to the comparative ease of internet 'dating' compared to past years. Is internet dating inherently unsafer that other ways of hooking up, or is it just a 'more guys beingare doing it' phenomenon? “One thing we keep forgetting is that people have been having unsafe sex since the beginning of the AIDS epidemic,” says researcher Michael Stevens. “So it's always happened. I think what the internet does it make it much easier to talk about." Stevens remembers coming back to New Zealand in the early ‘90's, and telling someone in a bar he was HIV positive. “The guy said, ‘you shouldn't tell me that, we should just assume that everybody is'. That was the attitude then – a very strong sense of ‘we're all in this together'. The assumption was that everyone was positive, and that everyone was going to behave. I don't think anyone then would have said ‘I want to go home and have unsafe sex with you'. Whereas now that's become quite commonplace. “I think the internet has helped that change in attitudes, because people now feel much freer to talk about what they want sexually, when they're not actually sitting opposite somebody.” Stevens thinks people are generally well informed about how HIV is passed on. “I think people are just being naïve about assuming that everybody with HIV knows they have it, and will tell them. “There's a large number of people out there who don't know they're HIV positive. People need to make allowances for that.” WHAT CAN BE DONE? Itr's fairly clear that the internet has a role in bringing men together for unsafe sex in greater numbers than ever before. More men with less community contact and less exposure to the HIV prevention and education campaigns that pervade gay community venues and media. As another post on GayNZ.com's messageboard highlights: “Even if only ten percent of those guys were actually practicing unsafe sex, it is still a very scary statistic. I don't think the story should be fobbed off so lightly.” So, now comes the tough part – devising possible solutions. Next weekend GayNZ.com will look at what's happening now, and what we can do in the future, to target men who hook up for unsafe sex online. In the meantime, we welcome your feedback, thoughts and suggestions on our messageboards. GayNZ.com - 18th November 2006