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Kiwifruit's Ginny and Barb

Sun 17 Sep 2006 In: Hall of Fame View at Wayback View at NDHA

Love 'em or hate 'em, these two softies have been our late-night telly lesbians for two years now. Not since Ernie and Bert has there been such 'out and proud' puppets! First, confirm your full names and ages... Ginny: Virginia Ruth Pears-Bartlett. I'm keeping my married name for credit card purposes. And we're ignoring the age question. Barb: Barb. That's all you need to know. Are you two a couple? How did you meet? Are you monogamous... or non-monogamous? Barb: That's a very personal question. Ginny: We can neither confirm nor deny. Barb: But we can tell you we met at the last Hero Parade. Ginny: Barb was my first dyke on a bike. Barb: Ginny was my first pissed rich bitch. Ginny: And as for monogamy… well, we all know that all lesbians are strictly monogamous, now don't we? Barb: We leave all that grubby playing around to the straights. Ginny: And compulsively promiscuous gay men with no moral fibre. Next question please. Barb: Before we crack up. How are you two coping with your new-found fame on late night telly? Ginny: Darling, we can't even go to the supermarket without being mobbed by bi-curious straight girls! Barb: They like bumping trolleys. Who have you interviewed, and do you have any inside goss on anyone you've interviewed? Ginny: Well, after we helped poor confused wee Chris Knox come out as queer on national TV, the floodgates opened, didn't they Barb? Barb: Did they what! We've done them all, from Mika to Pansy Wong… Ginny: From Geraldine Brophy to Georgina Beyer. Barb: Hot tottie, one and all! What's your background - where are you from? Ginny: Barb rescued me from life as a bored, sexually frustrated, wife, mother and National Party fundraiser in Remuera. Barb: And I'm from Hamilton. Ginny: Say no more. What were you doing for work before you were telly superstars? Ginny: Work? What's that? Barb: I owe it all to NZ On Air funding. Before that I had a go at driving buses, but my feet couldn't reach the pedals. Favourite food and drink? Both: Cocktails! Worst habits? Both: Cocktails. Most noble feature? Ginny: Modesty, darling. Barb: And our right-on, socially-aware, eco-sensitive, non-sexist, fully-biodegradable politics. Ginny: Kia ora! Favourite telly programme (apart from Kiwifruit!)? Barb: Bad Girls. Ginny: So realistic. Barb: And we love Takataapui. Ginny: So brown! Who would you interview next... if you could choose from anyone in the world? Barb: Marilyn Waring. Ginny: A living legend. One of our idols. Barb: And what she doesn't know about Parliament's dirty laundry isn't worth knowing!     Matt Akersten - 17th September 2006

Credit: Matt Akersten

First published: Sunday, 17th September 2006 - 12:00pm

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