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Philip Patston: The guy on the OutTakes programme

Mon 29 May 2006 In: Community

Someone really should have told the guy on the cover of this year's Out Takes programme to wipe the ice cream off his mouth before they took the photo. What? It's not ice cream? Oh, well it must be yoghurt then. No? Well, perhaps its mayonnaise. Not that either? Toothpaste? White paint? Hardly. Then, it must be what I thought it was all along - it really is meant to be cum? Yes. How do I explain that to my Mum? Actually when I first saw the picture of the guy slobbering next to his mate in the front row of the movies, I thought something had been spilt on it and I tried to lick it off. Seriously, I'm not sure what I think about it. My opinion vacillates. At best I would acknowledge it, undeservedly, as a mildly funny visual double entendre. At worst I would assess it as offensive. Unfortunately it didn't make me laugh or offend me -it just made me roll my eyes. Sure, I can understand that someone in the creative team, probably still in his horny teens, might have mooted it as a joke. The boys would have laughed, the girls would have groaned and then you would think the idea would have been relegated to the metaphorical cutting room floor. But no, it made it to the final cut. How can that be? Was the randy teen running the show? I keep thinking this line of critical reasoning might make me a prude, but I'm sure I'm not. I swear, I talk about sex; I even do a bit of porn. I'm ok with group sex, non-monogamy, even B   Philip Patston - 29th May 2006

Credit: Philip Patston

First published: Monday, 29th May 2006 - 12:00pm

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