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Annabel - South

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[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by pride in Gareth support from the rule foundation. [00:00:08] How would you describe your identity [00:00:11] is a legend file is a lesbian [00:00:16] defect, the language that we use to talk about ethics orientation has changed over time. [00:00:21] Um, [00:00:23] I haven't really thought about it a lot. But I was talking to my mom on the phone. And I was because I'm a crystal intern this year, and I was telling her about that. And she was quite surprised that we use the word queer. So I think that's kind of changed, the signal changed a bit. And I think there's definitely a lot more kind of labels and stuff that people use. And it's a lot within my friend groups and stuff, it's really easy to talk about, it's not a, an issue, or anything, like a lot of people kind of [00:00:59] quite familiar with a lot of different levels. So [00:01:02] what do you think Claire's my name, [00:01:04] I think it's kind of just an umbrella term for kind of anyone that doesn't identify is heterosexual or suspended. Seven, it's kind of a nice all encompassing term. It can kind of be a good way to to identify as queer if you're not quite sure if of if you're still kind of trying to work things out in terms of sexuality or gender. [00:01:30] And do you identify with any kind of like sub categories or labels, like within the queer lesbian community, and [00:01:39] I know if you'd be watching the queer [00:01:43] I, myself would consider myself kind of non conforming, but it's not so much a thing that I've, like, I when I think about it, it's just too confusing. It's just like, okay, we'll just kind of stick with it General, kind of [00:02:01] nonconforming thing. [00:02:04] And, you know, I know a few our listeners that definitely, you know, that they had an enterprise book tour, you know, film and things like that, but there's not so much talk about that within my friendship, because I've got most of my favorite was, is queer. So it's in a lot of them lesbians, and a lot of them just said, It fascinates me in that kind of done, sub categorize it that, yeah. [00:02:30] When did you first become aware that you're, [00:02:33] um, [00:02:36] I was probably about 14, when I realized myself. [00:02:41] And I think that was also kind of around the time, when I realized kind of what it means going to a Catholic School, 15 years, and so kind of, that wasn't really a thing that was talked about at all. And I knew I had one friend who he came out as gay when he was 12. And so we, it was kind of I made the assumption that gay was a thing that, you know, boys that like, boys were gay, but you know, girls that like girls, they were it was just, it wasn't a thing. And so, kind of, I think I kind of came to the realization when I was about 14, but wasn't kind of didn't kind of decoupled the admissions with it later. So, yeah. [00:03:25] Um, did you have like a coming out? [00:03:27] Um, well, I was the physics and I kind of was one of my friends in high school, and I was 16 at the time. And I had, like, my computer off, and we were studying and I had my background, my computer was, I think it was a picture of technique and sale, because she's amazing. [00:03:47] And my friend who's also who, at the time identified as bisexual. She's like, you're so gay. I'm like, here. Yeah, I think so. [00:03:58] And she's like, What, are you serious? I'm, yes. So and it was quite fun. And then from there, I told [00:04:06] my other friend and friend, like, a couple of days later, because I felt so guilty that I hadn't told her but I told my other friend. But then I didn't really come out to anyone else until I was 18. Kind of, I was at uni. It was my first year. And I was I was planning to be like, really open about it at the beginning of the year. But then [00:04:29] my friend from my friend from high school, [00:04:33] she moved down here with me, and we she got a girlfriend after like, four days. [00:04:41] So and we were because we're in the flats, women in the main hall. And so she said, there was a whole lot of, you know, rumors and discussion and stuff about the lesbians and the flats. And I was like, Okay, well, maybe I'm not gonna be open up this this, like an app is this much kind of gossip about it. But I kind of there were a few people that I told probably about halfway through the year, and gave him a phone call, sort of told her about two months before the end of the year, and I was gonna have to move back home. So she was shocked. It was an interesting conversation. She was kind of, I told her and she was silent for a while. And I was like, a, I was like, are you okay? And she's like, She's like, I just need a bit of time to process and you know, that stuff. And then she's like, I think you're gonna tell me you're pregnant. I'm like, well, there's a shot to that bell. And it was not funny, apparently. So, um, but yeah, so like, I came out to my mom when I was 18. And then I went home, and my sister came out to her when I gone back home. And she was just like, Oh, yeah, I knew that. I was like, Okay. So that was a bit and she told my dad, which apparently took some convincing because I don't have a great relationship with it. Like, it's not something that will come up in conversation. But it was. I think he I don't think it was a huge looking back. I don't think they like for them. Looking back, I don't think it was a huge surprise. Like, I've always been very much a tomboy and kind of didn't really grow out of that, and new hit boyfriends and things like that. And I think it was kind of just, you know, like, they just needed a bit of time to practice. And both of them are okay with it now, which is nice. It's makes things easy. Because I've got a lot of friends that whose parents aren't okay with it. And it seems like it'd be really hard. I probably just go back home. Yeah. [00:06:42] How did you go from, like, kind of when you when Neil Gaiman came up to you, and you just you didn't know kind of what it means to be like a woman attracted to other woman? Yeah, that they were kind of, [00:06:55] I don't know, I think it was kind of just, I think I hadn't really like I knew that I'd even like boys. It was like Coursera springs. And, you know, when as soon as I started high school, everyone was trying to see people set me up with other boys. And I'm like, No, boys are my friends. Like the other was hit friends, little boys. And it was kind of like, people actually, like, I'm like, we're in high school. Like, what is this? We're leaving. And I think it's just like, I don't think my friend that came out when he was 12. It wasn't so much. Like, I think it was it was kind of something already, like a lot of people already kind of knew because they'd been taste about it for ages. And he kind of just came out on the road. It's like, Oh, you know, like, that's cool. Like, it wasn't a big deal. [00:07:43] But yeah, and I hadn't really thought about, [00:07:47] about it like about just, you know, being a traitor to girls as being anything weird. And then it was kind of I don't know how I kind of. [00:07:58] I wasn't like, one day, I was like reading and it was like, oh, okay, so this is, this is what this is. [00:08:05] It was kind of just, [00:08:08] you know, like, I think, you know, my friends saying, Oh, you're so gay. It was kind of like my like, Oh, yeah, like, I probably am like, it's not a it wasn't something I was like, Oh my god, am I this like, it's it was kind of just like I always knew like boys. And then I kind of started liking girls. And it was, it wasn't any girls that I knew. It was like celebrities. And so I was like, oh, everyone does this. They did. So it's just yeah, it wasn't like a long kind of process of finding out it was kind of I think it was mostly the my friend being like, Oh, you're so gay. And I'm like, Oh, yes. Yeah. And kind of from there. I was like, Yeah, definitely. So I think it had to be kind of, I mean, previously, I've had kind of when I was 14, I was kind of like, I knew I kind of like girls, but I didn't think of it is kind of weird. I just assumed everyone else did as well as like in boys like, it was just Yeah. [00:09:08] Where did you grow up? I grew up in Rotorua. [00:09:12] Did you experience any kind of like homophobia there? Like Catholic school? [00:09:17] I wasn't, I wasn't really out. So it wasn't [00:09:23] it wasn't really an issue for me in I had quite a diverse group of friends in high school too late, I was friends with a lot of people who identified as bisexual or is gay. And so it was kind of old people that will kind of open to that it wasn't. So within that, it was easy. But it was I also still felt a little bit enterprise because I was I felt like I was the only one that only liked girls. So it was Yeah, it was still I still felt kind of on the outside of that group. But I knew that they were accepting of it. Like I most of them didn't know, a lot of them have assumed but it was. Yeah, it was. So I think it was there wasn't a lot of experiencing of homophobia because I wasn't. I wasn't out. So yeah, [00:10:13] what's it been like, I'm kind of moving to the South Island and starting like University, um, [00:10:21] and love it down here. It's just, it's so like, I feel a lot more comfortable being myself and like, I'm not going to be judged. Because there's such a large student population here. I think everyone's still kind of everyone's wants to express themselves and in their own way. And so it's kind of there's a large kind of diversity, just in general, across people in a lot more. I suppose. It's like, it's, it feels like people are going to be more accepting of, you know, any kind of queer people. And so it's, you know, like, you see lots of different kinds of people walking around so you What are you up? So, um, don't they come is out of places I feel sometimes like, it's it's great. Like, I've, it feels like I feel comfortable being out here. Whereas I think, like, when I go back home and stuff, like my friends from high school, no, but I wouldn't kind of [00:11:21] kind of share that information with a whole lot of different be like, hey, gay, like, [00:11:27] I wouldn't like here I'm involved in a lot of stuff like I play [00:11:32] social soccer with the pebble patients who is a [00:11:37] lesbian, Li a lesbian, to the allies, social football team. They've been in existence since like, the late 80s. So I'm really involved with it. And this year, I'm involved with queer support. And like, I don't think I'd be in, you know, I play competitive football as well. And so that's like, all my teammates, they know. And I don't think I'd be quite as comfortable. [00:12:03] Like, with being is out as I am here, if I was still in order. [00:12:10] So yeah. And do you think it's [00:12:14] harder to be and like out in the South Island? Or is it more of like a small town with city? [00:12:21] I think that's a small town city thing. Like I think, like, I've got a couple of friends from infocomm ago. And it's a bit that I've been there once, and it seems very similar in a row. Like, it's so classified as a city, but it's kind of, and I think kind of being out there isn't ideal that I've got very, kind of see ideas about homosexuality and things like that. So I think it's, yeah, I think that's dependent on kind of the size and kind of, I think, the age of the population as well. Because, you know, here, it's a lot of students and things like that. And I feel that kind of agitation, a lot more accepting of, kind of queer people, because it's something that's been kind of acknowledged a lot more. Like, as we're growing up, and it's so there's not kind of is see ideas about, like, get his bed kind of hanging. So yeah, it's, I think it's definitely a size of the city and, you know, kind of what the hell populations made up so? [00:13:30] And is it important to have to, like, kind of be involved with the liquid stuff that's going on here and be like, have a sense of community? [00:13:37] Definitely, definitely. It makes it so much easier to know that there's like to know that there are other people like me, because I think it was part of my problem in high school was that I wasn't, I wasn't coming, I didn't come out, because, you know, like, I didn't have anyone to identify with. So it's, it's definitely great to have a sense of community and just to be able to talk about, like, just be able to talk about, like, queer things. It's great. Like, if I mentioned a movie or something that that's a queer movie, it's just like, Oh, you know, I've seen that that was a great movie kind of thing, as opposed to, you know, like, within a group of like, if I was to talk about it in my football team, they'd be like, what, what is this? So it's, yeah, it's definitely great to just be able to have to interview I think, as a feeling of safety as well, you've got like a safety net, that if you've got any problems or anything, you know, people you can go to, and they're not going to be judgmental. So [00:14:36] do you feel like I'm [00:14:39] like Facebook and social media. And I am, like, connecting and building that community. [00:14:45] To a degree, I think, like, I'm not out on my Facebook. I don't know why I just, I feel like Facebook was quite a judgmental social media. Whereas things like there are other kind of social, you know, like things like YouTube and Tumblr and stuff. They're all kind of new, their communities within them that queer and they are accepting of queer. And so it's, I feel like those social media are a lot, you know, better for building communities as opposed to things like Facebook, because it's so like, if you go on some Facebook pages, it's just you see, like, read comments and stuff. You're just like, What are you? [00:15:30] And I think there are some websites like, what this is like after Ellen and auto strettle, which like blogs and stuff that post or they're not blogs, but their posts or articles and stuff. [00:15:42] And it's really good to have that as a sense of community as well, because it's stuff that's kind of relevant to you, as well as being stuff that you usually get in like a, you know, like a teen magazine odo, but it's directed at lesbians. So I think that's really cool. life seems like they're great for meeting people and building online communities. It's just depends on the type of social media that it is. [00:16:14] What do you think about the way current things people are represented in the media? And [00:16:19] in the media in general? Do you mean like movies and stuff? Well, just like, also, it's, um, [00:16:25] I think in terms of trends is not a lot of stuff. [00:16:31] And I think it's kind of coming like this, this kind of more now with [00:16:38] the only movie I've got translate, I'm going to go is it about a boy or Boys Don't Cry wasn't crack, which is society. [00:16:48] And I think, with this kind of more, talk about it now, especially since oranges, new black and live in fox is amazing. [00:17:01] And I think she's been a real good kind of voice and role model for trans women in particular, to kind of just to give a voice to trans, Nia trans women, specifically them. So it's, I think it's quite [00:17:20] like it's it's improving slowly, but it's definitely not as [00:17:25] it's definitely not as talked about as it should be, it seems like it's still kind of a taboo kind of subject. [00:17:32] In terms of queer, I think it's, there's a lot of TV now that Scott that saw the like cuisine tip or have quick characters. But in saying that they're quite often, like in terms of lesbians, they quite, they're all very feminine. There's not a lot of like, there's a broad range of rip presentation within a certain level. And so very, you know, in the spirit in the game mean, it's always very stereotypically gaming. flamboyant, and so I think, like, we've got kind of a bit more, we've got more representation now. But it's still, the way it's represented, could could be adjusted to make it more honestly, accurate or more representative, then than it is. [00:18:32] Why do you think it is the [00:18:35] thing kind of? [00:18:36] Because it's what men want to say? [00:18:39] Yeah, it's because it's what men want to say. And it's the same with lesbian porn. It's, it's directed, straight mean, it's not at all for, like, it's great to see on TV to be like, yes, lesbians, whoo. But at the same time you like, oh, there's no one that looks like me. So I think it'd be great to kind of have more variety and the representation of this means, but I don't know whether that'll get me anytime soon. So [00:19:14] what do you think are some of the biggest issues that are facing [00:19:18] at the moment, we just got to quality, but [00:19:24] mostly, I think education, like an education, educating young people about just, you know, queer issues, and you know, what queer is? I mean, I don't know, if that's covered in non Catholic schools. It wasn't covered in Moscow. But as you know, from what I gather, there's not a lot of education around it in its especially in terms of succeed, I think that there needs to be that push with it so that people can so that young gay people can engagements sex, because that's, that's important. Like, it's important to be safe, and to kind of promote that, whereas it's just not talked about at all. So [00:20:11] and where do you think we might be as a country in like, 10 years time in Kansas, um, but [00:20:18] I'm, [00:20:22] I hope there'll be more education around it, like, I feel like, that's kind of needs to be the next big push, because I'm gonna sound really cheesy, but like, the children are a future life, and we need to kind of it is, it is something that's becoming, like coming out as more acceptable, as seems to be, you know, more acceptable people coming up younger, and they need to be kind of aware of how to go about things and how to, you know, how to engage in sex, sex, and, you know, meaningful relationships and just kind of knowing places to, even if they're not going to explicitly give information in schools to provide young people with places where they can find that information. So hopefully, we'll be there. [00:21:22] Um, what are your personal like hopes for your future? Um, [00:21:26] well, [00:21:28] I don't know, like, I, I'm studying permutation. So but, um, I want to teach the little, little ones. So I don't know if I can contribute much to [00:21:41] like queer education. [00:21:44] But it's definitely going to be something that I hopefully will be able to talk openly about. I work in an after school program at the moment, and I was having a discussion with one of the boys the other day, he's teen who discuss saying, like, I'm not out there, but it's, I was discussing, we were discussing the Wizard of Oz, and which one of us, he's, he's like, Hey, we're here to discuss about who liked the Wizard of Oz more. And he's like, I would marry Dorothy, I'm like, I will turn. He's like, he's like, I'm like, you know, it's, it's legal now. So it's kind of it was kind of not and we just kind of had a little discussion about and it was quite nice to kind of just be able to chat about it without even being him knowing that I was gay, it was kind of it was, it was a natural conversation, I hope to kind of bring that into my teaching, hopefully, depending on kind of scope on it. And I kind of wanted to travel, I have huge, huge dreams to go to a camp, which is run by auto shuttle, which is the whoops, earlier. I would love, love love to do that. So I'd like to, I'd like to travel over. Typically, I'd like to move over to Canada, ideally, or England and teach. So those are my kind of long term goals. It's a camp run by Australia with a whole bunch of queer women kind of come together and do activities and interact. And it looks like an awesome time I have a friend who went while she was over in Canada couple years ago. And so, so jealous, she said it was amazing. So just to kind of meet more people and kind of participate in activities, events. [00:23:42] If you were to give a message to kind of a Catholic High School, struggling with this social orientation, [00:23:49] what would it be, um, I would probably say, find and, like, if you feel comfortable, talk to your friends about it. Because it's your friends. More than often, more often than not gonna support you. Like, if anything, not they're gonna [00:24:09] woman you're kind of screwed, but [00:24:12] But no, like, it's it I found on like, online communities are really, really helpful. You like, you know, go on YouTube, go on Tumblr, kind of find communities there we can make friends. Even if it's a friend that lives in America, you've got someone who you can talk to, if you're having problems, or you can discuss things about there's a lot of information online that you can find, if you are questioning and things like that, and I think kind of don't be like feel forced to do anything. Like if you don't want to come out, come out. If you don't feel safe, you know, just it's kind of like a natural progression type thing. Just be comfortable. Try to be comfortable in yourself first and kind of go from there. [00:25:02] Finish up what's your favorite thing about being done cook this movie so [00:25:07] my favorite thing? I don't I don't know. I really like the communities like I like the sense of community with it. I've got a variety of different communities, I suppose. I like Yeah, I like the communities through very friendly and welcoming and great to be a part of

This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It is not a transcript, it has not been checked by humans and will contain many errors. However it is useful for searching on keywords and themes.