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I realised that was scary when I was 15 years old, actually, and it was it wasn't an easy thing for me. I always knew that, uh, I was gay. Uh, I just didn't really want to deal with it. Um, I just I. I wanted to get as far away as I could because I didn't know much about it. I grew up in a very small town, And, um, it wasn't something I wanted to do with. And one day I was watching, um, a TV programme and I [00:00:30] they were talking about gay teens and they were coming out, and I could identify with so many of these kids, and it really helps me to realise that, um, it's it's not something to be ashamed of or it's not something that you should have to hide or anything like that. So that really, um, was actually my starting day in the summer, Uh, when I was 15 years old, and, um, ever since then I was dealing with it, and when I was about 16, I got very comfortable [00:01:00] with it, and it took me a good year to be able to, um, get used to the idea and get used to, um, being able to realise the fact that, uh, I was attracted to men and, um, how I was gonna actually be set of friends and family if I would ever. Um, just a lot of questions were going through my head, and, um, I went through, um, a time where I just kind of wanted to do it, uh, go through it alone. And [00:01:30] I didn't want to have to do a whole lot with talking to anybody about it. It was kind of a self discovery time for me. And later, I just wanted to see what other people had done and what their previous histories were. And they what they what they had done as far as telling your parents, uh, teachers, friends, whoever, and, um, So I did. I started attending a support group, and, um, I got a lot of support from them finding out [00:02:00] how some of them came out to different people in their life. That meant something to them. And, um, realising that somebody means some something to you that, um, then they'll really mean something to you. They'll usually accept it and, uh, be a part of your life. I don't know. And be a part. Be a part of who you are. I decided not to tell anybody until I graduated high school. It's because I grew up in a very small town. And, [00:02:30] um, it was it wasn't something I wanted everybody to know right after that, I was I was just too scared yet when I graduated, um, I told my both of my parents, and, um, I have two sets of parents. They're divorced. So I told my dad and my stepmother first, and they were very, very, um, accepting about it. And they, uh, [00:03:00] we were a little concerned about me and, uh, that I knew what I was doing. This is what I wanted. Um, they weren't They didn't know too much about any anything about it. So, um, they wanted to learn more about it, so it was really good. It made me feel a lot better. Um, my mom, on the other hand, um, wasn't so well with it. My step dad was absolutely fine. He's probably the best. And, um, my mom just had a problem with it just because, um, she didn't want to see me get hurt [00:03:30] or, um, anybody to look at me different, like as a mother usually does in that case. But, um, she is doing very well now with it. And, um, I believe, um, she is getting a lot more comfortable with it day by day, and, uh, she's always there for me, no matter what. Um, what my problem is or, uh, what my question is, and she'd never turn her back on me, because nice to know that, um, everybody was there for me. Uh, my [00:04:00] friends, on the other hand, were a different story. Um, you lose friends and you gain friends. And when you go to high school, no matter what. And I just was very honest about everything that about my life. And I didn't want anything to be a big secret. I just was who I was. And, um, sometimes I just don't talk to anymore. Sometimes I do. So I mean, in general, it was it was a It was a great time of story, and I never changed it for anything in in my in my life, it's really changed who I was and, [00:04:30] um, a lot, a lot about what I learned about life and experiences and yeah, just you know how important getting yourself really is. And, um, not trying to hold back anything before anybody or because of anything. My first experience, um, started off with somebody that was the same age as me and I. I got to know him very well before anything really happened. I was I was very scared [00:05:00] yet at that time to to even experiment with anything, Um, as I hadn't yet I am we not? We did not live that close together, but, um, he actually started going to college very, very much near me, um, in Minnesota, and we became very close that way, and things just started to progress, and one thing led to another, and we started becoming very close. We're passionate, um, together. And the first time [00:05:30] anything ever happened, it was it was really something. I felt connected, Um, something that I had been been longing for that was missing in my life. Something just totally, um, so valuable that, you know, uh, I couldn't even explain it. And it just felt like something out of me that was missing that I was playing this straight role for my whole life since the puzzle was finally complete. [00:06:00] And it was, um it was a great feeling. And, um, it it's changed me in a way that, um it helped me figure figure out that who I am is so important. And another reason why holding back is going to alter your being and who you are if you don't, um, tell people truly who you are and, um, and what you're about.
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