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I was an only child, uh, an only boy and the oldest in my family, uh, out of all the other cousins and so on. And, uh, I was really close to my mom, and I guess, um, you know, and I was always a bit odd. I always, uh it, I guess a little bit effeminate, or people just didn't quite know what was going on. And, uh, you know, I didn't like hanging out with guys very often, uh, playing sports and all that stuff. Um, so it's a long a long story [00:00:30] in the sense that, um, I ended up being separated from my mom. She became ill, and, uh, my father ended up looking after me for a short while, and that didn't work out. So I was alone for a little while when I was about, I don't know, about 10 through 12, fending for myself, and then I moved in with a next door neighbour, Uh, a nice lady. I guess she was about 50 at the time. She was also a single mother and had an older son who was, uh, older than me. He was about 25 [00:01:00] and, um, Well, I you know, around the age of 10, you start realising what you like and what you're attracted to, and, ah, it's a difficult time for me anyway, being separated from my mom and I just not necessarily took on her persona. But I, uh II I guess I ended up acting more feminine and like using her whatever was left of her hair products and some of her clothes and that kind of thing It either to compensate for the fact that she was gone. Or I'm not sure if it was for that or [00:01:30] if it was for me, uh, to come to terms with myself and eventually some guy friends that I had, uh, when I was growing up, common experience for most guys, you know, fool around when you're younger, uh, seeing if you know you both have the same parts and and how they work. And and except for me, uh, I really enjoyed it. Um, so you know, I? I remained quite unique, and I, you know, well dressed. And I had dyed my hair all the time [00:02:00] and and, you know, did weird stuff with myself. And at a point in time came when my stepmom was actually quite embarrassed by me. Uh, and I knew that she was not, you know, very open to, uh, homosexuals, either. So it was a different, difficult place for me to be in. Um, and eventually one day, I just, uh I guess when I was 15, I came out and said, Yes, I am, Uh I am gay, And, uh, I don't want you to have to deal with this, Um, so I'm going to move out. So I did. I moved [00:02:30] out, and, um, which was probably a good idea for our relationship with me and my step mom. But also, it was quite bad in the sense that I I did a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have. I. I assumed that when I was living on my own that I could just go and do what I please when I want. So I'd, you know, I was getting into gay bars. Quite young, under age. Uh, I learned how to drink way too much and smoke and do all those horrible things way too early. And, [00:03:00] uh ah, you know, I frequented bathhouses. I actually, as soon as I moved out I put an ad in the paper and the local, I guess it would be like the village voice type of thing. Uh, want ad and lied about my age, of course. But, uh, that's why I took on my my first real experiences with other gay men. Um, uh, it was quite traumatic because a lot of them were older. And, uh, you know, they saw me as a real treat because I was young and I was, [00:03:30] you know, I guess cute at the time. And, uh, some of them took advantage of me and so on and so forth. But, uh, from it all, I think I've grown. And, uh, you know, I'm still gay. I moved to Vancouver, and I'm best friends with my step mom. Now she's, you know, she asks a few questions every once in a while, and I'm very blunt with her, and I tell her exactly probably what she doesn't want to hear, and she won't ask any more questions for about another six months. But she's curious, and she's very supportive. [00:04:00] When I was at school, uh, you know, I, I went I lived in a small town, and, uh I stuck out like a sore thumb from other guys. Uh, for a lot of reasons. I just dressed differently and and I was into different things arts and and drama. And, you know, the the token fag type of idea. And everyone else seemed to know before I did, you know, all the all the jerks at school, all the guys would call me fag and everything else. And I had this slew of lady friends that would stick up for me all the time. [00:04:30] And, uh, it was really embarrassing for me at one point in time, because when I finally decided I was going to tell everyone, um, I I felt bad for them because they had defended me for so long, but it turned out just as well because they said it. It shouldn't matter. Anyway. Um, you know, they were calling me a fag to be derogative towards me. Not that being gay was bad. They said, um, but, you know, then when they when you finally do admit to being a fag, then they'll find something else to call you. Um, which [00:05:00] is equally as derogative. So, uh, you know, my friends were pretty supportive. I didn't lose any friends over it, that's for sure. I probably gained more enemies when, you know, people were a bit shocked that I was not only looking like one, but, you know, openly acting like one as well. Not that I'd, you know, run around with Olympus and and a lisp and tight knees. I just, uh you know, if somebody asked, I wouldn't hesitate in saying so. And I had the support of my friends, which was really wonderful. Um, [00:05:30] and that, uh, you know, they were about as curious about it as I was. I mean, half of them were still virgins. Gosh, up until a few years ago, So they were always living vicariously through me and all my strange sexual experiences. So it was a It was a good experience. Um, my actual family family, my my blood family, where my mom's from, Uh, they were, uh, support more supportive than my step mom. Only because they felt sorry for me. And, you know, they're not very educated. [00:06:00] So it was a bit difficult for them to grasp, too. But like everyone else, they got used to it. And as I said, my step. Mom and I are best friends now, and she's, you know, supportive as as much as she can be as much as she understands. And, um, my father didn't take it very well. I hadn't spoken to him in many years, and I guess he found out some way or another and, uh, doesn't want to have anything to do with me, which is, you know, just just as well. Uh, it it, uh it was a tainted relationship even before he knew. [00:06:30] So, uh, it just added to the fire. But that's fine. Uh, other than that I, I don't have any enemies out of it. Let's put it that way.
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