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Snapshot 2000 - Edward

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride in seeds don't calm. [00:00:05] I was an only child [00:00:07] boy, and the oldest in my family of all the other cousins and so on. And it was really close to my mom. And I guess you know, I was always a bit odd. I always, I guess a little bit of feminist or people just didn't quite know what was going on. And, you know, I didn't like hanging out with guys very often playing sports, all that stuff. So it's a long hair long story in the sense that I ended up being separated from my mom, she became ill and my father ended up looking after me for a short while, and that didn't work out. So I was alone for a little while. And I was about, I don't know about 10 to 12 that fending for myself. And then I moved in with the next door neighbor, nice lady, I guess she was about 50. At the time, she was also single mother and had an older son who is older than me, he's about 25. And, you know, around the age of 10, you start realizing what you like, and what you're attracted to. And it's a difficult time for me anyway, being separated from my mom. And I just not necessarily took on her persona, but I have it, I guess I ended up acting more feminine, and like using her, whatever was left of her hair products, and some of her clothes and that kind of thing is that I did to compensate for the fact that she was done or I'm not sure if it was bad, or if it was for me to come to terms with myself. And eventually, some guy friends that I had, when I was growing up common experience for most guys, you know, fool around when you're younger, seeing if, you know, you both have the same products and how they work and, and for me, I really enjoyed it. So, you know, I remained quite unique, and I, you know, well dressed and I had dyed my hair all the time and you know, did weird stuff with myself. And and at that point in time came when my stepmom was actually quite embarrassed by me. And I knew that she was not, you know, very open to homosexuals either. So it's a different, difficult place for me to be in. And eventually, one day, I just, I guess when I was 15, I came out and said, Yes, I am. I am gay, and I don't want you to have to deal with it. So I'm going to move out. So I did, I moved out and which was probably a good idea for our relationship with me and my stepmom. But also was quite bad in the sense that I did a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have. I assumed that when I was living on my own, that I could just go and do what I please when I want. So as you know, he's getting into gay bars, quite young under age, haven't had a drink with too much smoke can do all those horrible things way too early. And you know, I figured a bath houses I actually as soon as it moves out, I put an ad in the paper and the local, I guess it'd be like The Village Voice type of thing want to have and write about my age, of course. But that's why I took on my first real experiences with other gay men. It's quite traumatic, because a lot of them were older. And you know, they saw me as a real treat because I was young. And I was, you know, I guess cute at the time. And some of them take advantage me and so on and so forth. But stuff from it all, I think I've grown and still get and moved to Vancouver. And I'm best friends with my step mom. Now she's, you know, she asked a few questions every once in a while. And I'm very blunt with you. And I tell her exactly, probably what she doesn't want to hear. And she won't ask any more questions for better six months, but she's curious and she's very supportive. When I was at school, you know, I went, I live in a small town, and I stuck out like a sore thumb from other guys. for a lot of reasons, I just dress differently. And I was into different things are been drawn, you know that the token fag type of idea. And everyone else seemed to know before I did, you know all the jerks at school all the guys would call me fag and everything else. And I had this slew of lady friends that would stick up for me all the time. And it was really embarrassing for me at one point in time, because when I finally decided I was going to tell everyone [00:04:44] I felt bad for them because they defended me for so long. But it turned out just as well because they said it was it was shouldn't matter anyway. You know, they were calling me a fag to be derogatory towards me now that being gay was bad, they said, but, you know, when they when you finally do admit to being affected, and they'll find something else to call you, which is equally as derogatory. So, you know, my friends are pretty supportive. I didn't lose any friends over it, that's for sure. I probably gained more enemies when, you know, people were a bit shocked that I was not only looking like one, but ultimately acting like one as well. Not that I run around with impress, and analysts and tight knees. I just, you know, silly ass, I wouldn't hesitate and saying so. And I had the support of my friends, which was really wonderful. And that, you know, they were curious about it as I was, you know, half of them were still virgin, gosh, up until a few years ago, so they were always living vicariously through me and all my strange sexual experiences. So it was it was a good experience. My actual family family, my, my blood family where my mom's from. They were supposed to go to the my step mom only because they felt sorry for me. And you know, they're not very educated. So it's a bit difficult for them to grasp to but like everyone else, they got used to it. And as I said, my step mom and I are best friends now and she's, you know, supportive as much as she can be as much as she understands. And my father didn't take it very well. I hadn't spoken to him in many years. And I guess he found out some way or another and doesn't want to have anything to do with me, which is, you know, just just as well. Was the tainted relationship even before he knew so it just added to the fire. But that's fine. That I don't have any enemies out of it. Let's put it that way.

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