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Sexuality and Gender workshop - Shift hui

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride [00:00:05] Okay, so welcome, everyone. Thanks for having us. [00:00:09] Come and talk to you. And hopefully we're going to answer your questions. We've already had a quick look. And there's some new that I think you can probably answer better than us. So I will hand those ones over the floor to My name is FR. I'm from family planning here in Wellington with health promotion. And this is a panel so I'm just going to pass the microphone along and they can introduce themselves. [00:00:33] Hi, I'm Kyle Greenwood. And I used to work for instance, life and now work for needle exchange. [00:00:40] Hi, my name is Rose. I'm a news. And I work at family planning and the clinic and Margaret Sparrow center in Victoria Street. [00:00:50] Hi, I'm Maria. I'm a health promoter for family planning. [00:00:55] So first question, I'm a female to male trends guide, I still need to get Smith. So I'm going to pass this one on to rock. [00:01:05] Well, first of all, [00:01:07] I just like to tell you all that I actually have a trends daughter in law. So that's not the reason I'm here. But it's just kind of interesting, because I never expected that to happen. And but it doesn't mean I've got any expertise, any particular expertise. So what I'm going to say about this is that if you've got a uterus, you still need a smear if you've got a uterus and a cervix, because if you will know that you have a smear because of the risk of cervical cancer, and you pick up that risk we need from early on and your sexual life. So if you've got risk for cervical cancer, and you've got a uterus, and you've got a cervix, hopefully, it's accessible, and you need a smear. [00:01:48] Thanks, Rose. Okay. And I'd like to ask about people and how they should approach coming out. So how would you like to respond to that? [00:02:01] I'm in the first instance, I think, coming out as you need to gather support around you. You need to find like minded people. So you need to maybe talk to someone, a counselor at your school, they might be a curious a group, or another youth group in the region and Wellington the school's out, but that's only in Wellington. But there is curious I groups all over the place. But I think the biggest thing is about finding support for you for yourself so that when you get hard times or you're trying to talk to your parents that you've actually got other people to talk to who understand and and can support you. It's but there must be other things to add to that. And also we're quite welcome to have comments from the floor. [00:02:53] Yes. Anyone else? Who would like to kind of [00:02:58] impart some wisdom around the sun? The people? [00:03:02] know, I just wanted to say that like, Well, sometimes the QSI is not exactly helpful. I mean, sometimes some of us actually can't even go to those. Because like my school, I can't do that. [00:03:16] Yeah, everyone that like spreads, rumors goes to it. [00:03:21] So no one can go to it anymore. [00:03:26] I think Yeah, and those situations is so hard, especially if you're in a rural area. Um, I think I guess we're really lucky. But there are also such a great online communities that we can turn to so there's some great New Zealand resources and Facebook groups and things like that, which are an option if you literally don't have a support group near you, or don't have anyone that you know, that you can continue to but um, yeah, I guess as well, just maybe [00:03:56] somebody who might understand, I'm just, sometimes it's good to try to try and have some women, often you will get a really good response [00:04:07] possible at all, you know, put something up somewhere for the next few days that people could add, like online places, they found that really kind of useful and helpful for people. Yes. [00:04:20] Numbers, this is 100. [00:04:25] So you get this yet, sometimes just about having a bit of a Google around finding what's what's out there. I just [00:04:34] want to say sometimes it can be [00:04:35] really hard, especially if your family is religious and does not necessarily condone being homosexual because of their religion. But the important thing to remember is that lots of people have the same religion direct are actually okay with it. So it's not necessarily what I'm trying [00:04:55] to say is that like, [00:04:57] just because your family is overly religious does not mean you can't confide in other people who are religious because everyone has a different attitude on that [00:05:05] piece of advice. Yes, [00:05:08] I think just tell somebody that you know, it's going to [00:05:10] be go with it. What do you think that is? [00:05:17] And also the people that are closest to you think what when I knew that it's a lot easier. [00:05:26] Um, and one one thing on thing a lot of people kind of overlook, I think is that coming out is essentially it's a subjective process. And you've got to come out for you not for other people. [00:05:42] Okay, it's Christian and I'm going to get Marie cutter answer this one for what's the difference between by pins and poly and mostly pins and poly? [00:05:55] by only a little bit handsome, probably mostly. And I guess I can kind of, of my understanding of those identities, and then maybe open up the floor if anyone wants to add something to that. So my understanding of by is around being attracted to men into women. In some people say that is, yeah, we can add more. And some people say that is somewhat of a binary term. My understanding of pan is being attracted to people of any gender that not necessarily like [00:06:29] it doesn't really matter what the gender is of the person you may be attracted to them anyway. [00:06:34] Polly my understanding of that is more around whether you're just be interested in some kind of relationship with one person at a time or whether you're open to sexual and or emotional relationships with more than one person who would like to add I would like to [00:06:54] I kind of loud voice. [00:06:57] Okay, so I'm binary and bisexual. I see my sexuality as being attraction to the same gender as yourself and other genders. [00:07:08] Pan sexual is being attracted to any other possibility of being attracted to any gender and poly sexual rather than polyamorous. I think your poly poly sexual is kind of being attracted to many genders, but not all genders. For example. [00:07:29] I'm attracted to [00:07:31] all women, [00:07:32] on binary people, but not many men. [00:07:39] Thank you. [00:07:41] Well, I'm personally identified by but I [00:07:45] am attracted to non binary people. [00:07:47] And I think, [00:07:49] for me, pan is more like gender isn't affected. And your attraction, I think some people say is that some people says all genders, but for me, gender is a factor in attraction. [00:08:00] So I go with by, you know, [00:08:06] I think what you said was really, really great. And then secondly, what I was gonna say, I'll just add that, um, yeah, I think there's so much stigma and kind of myths and stuff about what the word bisexual means. And it's Yes, I think it's a really, I think that all of these identities, that something that can be really personal to us, and we can decide what that means for us. But I think, yeah, there's been often a lot of talk about bisexual being an identity, this about the binary in male and female, and not being inclusive of people who are who are non binary, entering or gender queer or transgender. But that is not the case. That's not the history of that word. And there's so many people in the trends and non binary community who use that identity of bisexual as well. So I think it's really important that we don't like bisexual as a binary 10. Because that's not what it is. But it's awesome that we also have other words like Pentagon politics. [00:09:00] I tend to think of pants he was sort of more like, [00:09:04] you don't really like care what gender they are you sort of just like, you basically, it's kind of like, that person is just, you just like them, you don't really think of it as like, a gender thing, or any other sort of thing you don't really care about, like, what really any of the main keys, it's just sort of like, I like this person. It's, I that's how I think of it is, is it's just, I like this person, not for any particular reason. I just do. [00:09:39] My sister The 10th Show, [00:09:42] so I'm from her understanding, she told me that she basically likes [00:09:48] a person for the personality, not by the agenda. [00:09:56] Okay. [00:09:59] Can you? Hello? Oh, no. Can you use the final condoms for anal fix? [00:10:06] it? The answer is yes. I'm sure. The thing is, is it working? Is it staying on one piece? [00:10:14] The thing is these things, they're not tested in that situation and a sort of scientific way to say, you know, we know for sure in the in the literature, that we know that that's okay. But you know, from practice, and from doing it bit, it probably is fine. It's like it's a bit similar to the question, can I reuse a vaginal condom? Now because lots of sittings where they're hard to get, and it's a women head? So they wash them and reuse them? And that's, that's probably okay. We just need to speak to it afterwards. Okay. [00:10:49] Oh, that's might be one for cow. So what is HIV? What is it? What do they mean? And what are the differences? Wow. [00:11:06] It's but it's also the question I get asked the most what is HIV and what is aids and what's the difference? So some, HIV is a virus, I'm not going to give you the big long name, because it's, you know, big long nine it's a virus that is contracted through blood and semen. It was also in tears and saliva but on such my my microscopic amounts that you can really only catch it from blood and semen using a condom stop set, which is the main why it's it's really in New Zealand, it's it's, it's an epidemic in the gay community because it's easily passed on through eight or six. Sometimes if you go to the doctor, they'll say take a suppository, which is putting a puddle up into your anus. And why they say that is because the pill will be absorbed straight into the bloodstream. And it's the same like with HIV and semen. If it goes into the final passage, it will be absorbed straight into the bloodstream. So then you're left with a virus that you have to live with. At first, you'll just live your life normally, and it won't have too much effect apart from when you see a converter or beginning like a case of the flu. But then as you live longer with HIV, what it does, it takes your immune system slowly hammers away your immune system and it depletes your immune system to the point that we have things that your body would naturally fight like shingles or thrash or [00:12:58] diarrhea, [00:13:01] stomach problems, [00:13:05] just things like that, that your body would normally be able to fight off the flow, when you've got no immune system, then your body can't fight it off. And then it starts having sort of this effect of running you write down. So you say you don't have the ability just to lead a normal life, you lose energy, you can lose weight. And as a seed, you can get you know, I really bad diarrhea and stuff. When you get to a point with the with the virus. So you've lived side was the virus, I'll give myself as an example, I lived with the virus for 10 years, and it was only HIV at that point. But then when I got so croc that I really couldn't cope anymore, I actually ended up with an AIDS diagnosis. So it's not, it's the virus, you've still got the virus and nothing changes, but it's what happens within yourself. To give you an idea diagnosis, it's because your body can't fight anything anymore. So what happens is in you've gone night style, and maybe HIV and AIDS diagnosis, and for me, it was a 98. And I went to the doctors and they happen to be medication. My You know, I think my lucky stars they was. So I started taking medication and six months later, I'm just living with HIV. Now, I haven't got it anymore, I only had AIDS for about a six month period of my life. But because the drugs that I took, and managed to fight off all the opportunities, small and fiction said, I head and pick my immune system up, I think came out of an AIDS diagnosis. And for the next 10 years, I've just been living with HIV. So today, in today's world, actually, we're almost entering an era where there should be we should be not actually getting AIDS. And really a nice diagnosis means it someone's lived too long with the virus without getting diagnosed. So they are the first diagnosis is an AIDS diagnosis. And then what we'll do is they'll go on medication, and then they'll just come be coming back to being HIV positive again. So that's sort of the difference between HIV and AIDS. I think that it's still a horrible thing to live with, whether it's full blown AIDS or HIV, I now I'm on a twice a day, pill taking regime that I have to adhere to 95% of the time, otherwise the virus when we mutate and become resistant to the posts that I'm taking. And so that that's quite a lifestyle thing that you have to take on board around HIV. I could go on for ages. But actually, is there any other questions here? I think I've summed up the question. So anyone else got something they'd like further to know around a trophy? [00:16:03] I just kind of like to know. So [00:16:05] when you're on this medication? How So does it pretty much [00:16:12] mean that the virus is at such a low level? That it's not affecting you? Like in any? I mean, anyway? [00:16:20] Yeah, it's absolutely true that it just doesn't really affect me. I mean, I have to say, we don't know what the long term effect of the the pills are. We don't know what the long term effects of of living with HIV I'm, there's not many people who have lived with it for 25 years and still here. So actually, there's a lot, there's a whole lot of stuff, we still don't know, there's been articles around kicking your immune system, and so young in life, what's the long term effects of that? I think there isn't any states. But I know from anecdotally, from friends, this seems to be higher rates of things like diabetes, heart problems. Lola day is the medication is quite toxic. And we so we don't know what the long term effects of of the medication is. A couple of [00:17:12] the biggest myths you hear about what's [00:17:16] the biggest myths? [00:17:20] Yeah, well, I mean, [00:17:24] that the sad thing is, they don't think that outside of this world, the fact that right? This, how you catch, HIV is still very much a horrible myth out there. People are still incredibly weary. I think if this people who who don't have all the information that still be a bit paranoid about drinking out the same cup of me or kissing, or I think those things, [00:17:54] a mess that they don't do. What about others with Miss [00:17:58] deflate the kissing? Hi, is like, you definitely cannot use it from kissing. [00:18:11] And, [00:18:12] yeah, I don't know. And I think there's sort of [00:18:16] maybe the one about, you know, like, I think, you know, because it is so manage these days that people think, actually, sometimes I think people think it's quite hard to it, how does it get better does your mind that's kind of gone away in some way. [00:18:29] And also, I think the other big myth is it's no big deal. You take a pill a day, it's no different from being a diabetic. And I think that's a huge mess out there that actually needs to be well squashed, because it isn't. It just can't be compared to anything like that. And it still is a big deal. And I think when people get a diagnosis, even if they know that with medication, they're going to live a pretty reasonable life, it's still incredibly devastating to people to find out. They're HIV positive. And it's often really paint hard around forming relationships, whether we're being positive, it really causes problems there makes it difficult to [00:19:16] get people know about how interested [00:19:22] good on a years keep yourself tested. It's a really good thing. I think knowing early weeks as the answer for me, it was better to deal with it at the beginning and be aware of it. right the way through then just get it just think just waiting to I really was suck. Yeah. [00:19:46] Now to record testing it into life centers around the country [00:19:51] over the bank here. Like work [00:19:59] behind? Well, I don't know. Yes, of course I have. And I think the saddest thing was when I was really diagnosed, and I had real problems with disclosure, I found it really hard to tell someone that I was just meeting that I had HIV, it was like, almost, you're saying, I want to rehab relationship with those patients, I need to tell them straight away. And actually, you might have met them a couple of times in England are really quite like you until you told them. And I've had quite a few people walk away at that point. Because they're like, oh, now you should. And I've had people actually get angry with me and told me, You should have told me before we even had six. And nowadays I do. But when you're first diagnosed disclosures incredibly difficult, and it's really hard thing to do. And especially if you meet someone out and you're having a good time, you're not you're gonna ruin the moment by, by by telling them so yeah, that's that's probably the miss the one the one that hits the most other people. I really don't care. Because if they if they have a problem with Wheelock, I'd rather they didn't make the foot and making friendships. [00:21:07] I was going to ask why they [00:21:11] say High School, six, we get taught all the STDs, all the history. And then when it comes to HIV AIDS, I don't remember anything. I remember the name. I don't actually knew what it was until I went away and did my own research. When I slide 18. [00:21:31] They say it really isn't. I mean, it was just especially the 21st century. I mean, you think that and basic sex education, you'd they would talk about HIV. Maybe they I mean, did they talk about anything gay? Or was that sort of almost like, we only talked about the mainstream stuff? I'm not sure. Yeah. [00:21:58] In terms of prevalence rates, is it is a [00:22:05] AIDS and HIV going? [00:22:08] No, they're not going up. And the reason being as states? Well, one of the reasons through the 80s and 90s, I think people were getting infected as fast as I would, as I was dying, they seem to be a cycle of it, and there was so much death. But then once the new medications came in, the death rates completely stopped. But the infection rates seem to still be going up. And part of its actual mathematics. I say 2% who who are positive re and feat, that to for things just getting bigger and bigger as the pOH of people increase every year. And so and there is and we keeping everyone alive and healthy. So, unfortunately, that we're doing pretty well in New Zealand, other countries are doing, you know, comparatively, we're doing well, the numbers are still increasing. Yeah. [00:23:04] Maybe increasing because there's a lot more awareness around actually getting [00:23:10] loads of people that [00:23:15] buy side is another food on top of guys that know who don't know [00:23:20] who. [00:23:21] Yeah, they just died not [00:23:25] chapter only with a couple. And what about [00:23:29] features? [00:23:30] No, it's differently. It's heterosexual. It's It's It's sakes, it's passed on through semen and blood. So sharing a NATO as a as another way of contracting HIV. But now it's, um, and I think why the emphasis is on gay community, because it's a numbers game in the gay community, it's considered an epidemic. We're in the strike community, those numbers haven't got so high, that it's considered an epidemic. But so it is differently in the heterosexual community. [00:24:03] It depends where you live. In some other countries, yes. [00:24:09] In South Africa, [00:24:10] it's not considered a gay disease. It's just rife throughout the whole community. [00:24:18] My question was kind of similar, like around that. So with with the kind of percentages that we looking at, are we looking at still, [00:24:27] like, compared to like, a much higher rate of, say, making f6 with me? [00:24:34] controlling I try to compete to strike people, or is that as a kind of, has that changed at all? [00:24:41] It's not it's staying relatively similar. And the numbers sort of this slightly higher, even just on numbers again, me and I think there's something like 120 a year and we're looking at 70. And the gay community and the others the space between heterosexual, white, African and IV drug users. [00:25:06] And isn't it true that the the biggest growth is an [00:25:12] hit for sexual women? [00:25:13] The numbers are [00:25:15] growing bigger in that group? Yeah. And the numbers are smaller, but the grocer's? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. [00:25:24] Okay. And [00:25:27] where can I get free? private public [00:25:31] prophylactics or condos? So, [00:25:40] but outside here, where can you get condoms for free? So any, you people know? I'm sure. So. Yeah. [00:25:50] sexual health clinics, [00:25:51] sexual health clinics, and slightly. [00:25:54] Some sort of add me here. And I've seen it before. [00:26:03] Wow. [00:26:05] Did I put that out? [00:26:10] That would be right. Yeah. [00:26:11] Is it the same? [00:26:14] I mean, with other six things like, get to the end, a [00:26:23] CrossFit collective [00:26:24] be the cheapest place to get them? Absolutely. [00:26:29] Not so you can take but you [00:26:34] can go on and [00:26:35] like it's an anonymous website and just [00:26:40] I just send you like a [00:26:41] brown package that just has a whole ton of [00:26:51] love you comes on does it on the website, too. If you go to LYC website and hit the bottom now they'll post them out to you [00:27:00] can also get pretty calm from your local needle exchange. [00:27:06] Yes, became I can put my glasses on Yeah. [00:27:13] Okay, this is why maybe photography or for you guys. Actually, why do you feel it is important to have this workshop [00:27:23] to tippy tippy. [00:27:28] With shop, so [00:27:29] always goes because it's just about passing on information. So they actually you guys can then pass on information to your networks. And that's that's how that's the best way of getting messages out there is where the mouth of [00:27:46] us still say that. [00:27:50] Yeah, I'm just on that I think it's really important that we have this workshop because speaking for myself, and I know a lot of people, [00:27:58] six indication and schools from other sources really don't cover probably [00:28:04] the kind of like information that at community nights, the like the specific stuff. And it's actually I think it's really important, because you can't just not educate people and assume that they are going to just be able to educate themselves, or that their information is going to be available. And it's just really, actually really hard to come by. [00:28:29] Yeah, I'm very passionate about this. Right away. [00:28:36] If you're not necessarily out, so you don't want to put up your hand and teach you like I need to notice this. Yeah, yeah. It's really cool. [00:28:47] Yeah, I'm also like, I've noticed that quite a few of the people here are some of the [00:28:53] older guys might have been with a slightly malformed. So given the critically there is it toward this end go. So I having this workshopping, it does come out that they are boarding those books, but whatever, they'll actually have the knowledge to know [00:29:09] how to safely unlike maybe some [00:29:12] other because they mentioned [00:29:15] something here. Yes, I think it's really [00:29:17] important that we have [00:29:19] workshops like this. And then we also have classes within schools, because I come from a sexual health organization to 16 classes and schools because teachers can't do it themselves. Because I'm a lot of what our young people are learning about sexuality and six through different you're not from teachers, they're not from these classes, or these workshops in the classes are really important to eliminate the what they've heard in the playground, and actually kept in effects. And also, I think some parents and teachers think that because we teach them about contraception, that we're encouraging him to have sex, when really we're just giving you the tools, like someone said that if they want to in the future, they can. Yeah. We're [00:30:11] just not really, it's like if we like look up in the almanac, what [00:30:22] are we independent as well as, like, a rising thing is that we don't know, we're going to ask the man [00:30:33] to ask them. [00:30:35] Okay, I just lost this next question. [00:30:39] Danny here writing to read this one out. Sorry. I was so good. How do I tell my pad? How comfortable I am with sexual stuff? [00:30:51] Great question How? [00:30:55] Yeah. So what do you got? What What do you people think about this one? So how do you tell someone how comfortable you are? The sexual stuff. [00:31:06] With regards to relationships, being open, and having that communication is the most important thing. And if you aren't, if you don't feel comfortable telling your partner, the day that you are comfortable, something that kind of that feels like a weakness in relationship, to be honest. [00:31:29] Okay, thank you. [00:31:30] Yes. If you're close enough with your partner that you're considering something sexual, then you should just be able to say straight up what you want, and what you don't want. Okay. [00:31:41] Yeah. Somebody just just point out what if you are [00:31:43] only just sleeping with someone and it's not? [00:31:47] Okay, yeah. So, in that instance, [00:31:52] how do you get comfortable and kind of sign what you're comfortable with? And where your boundaries are? [00:32:00] It's not necessarily a relationship, you know, you just sort of, it's more casual. [00:32:06] So I have a question like, this? [00:32:14] Yeah. [00:32:21] I'm gonna feel like I don't know. [00:32:23] It's kind of weird. Like, oh, talk about it, [00:32:27] or just like, drop it. [00:32:29] There's no point being like, I want this. Now. I [00:32:34] really? Like [00:32:39] you're uncomfortable. [00:32:43] Yes. relationship with somebody like a dating relationship? [00:32:49] You're going to talk about it some stuff to it. When it's on the sexual environment, it's a lot easier to have that conversation. Yeah, yeah. [00:32:57] Yes. Oh, sorry. I think. [00:33:00] Yeah, I feel like if you're in a relationship with someone that maybe this thing that they are seeing that you're not comfortable with, maybe you're not ready to go there yet. And even maybe just with six, especially if it's a serious relationship, and I think if it is just don't respect to abuse anyway. And then the wait until you're comfortable, or if you're not, you can just do. It shouldn't be [00:33:21] a make it or break it. But [00:33:23] that's kind of telling you something about where you're rich. Yeah, and [00:33:26] I guess it's casual, in just having right beginning. Because, you know, it's casual, it's not, it's better to be safe with what you have you like this many more people, it's casual, I mean, [00:33:40] it is casual, then you should be able to say, [00:33:42] I like to say all [00:33:51] my friends actually had like, something like that. And what David was they sort of sat down and they just like talk, and both said, what he was like, interested in and what they were uncomfortable with. And then they pretty much just pick and choose which ones they could tolerate. [00:34:09] Like their own agreements with others, they pretty much just made a business deal with each other. [00:34:17] But they are actually [00:34:18] these kind of like, somewhat gating [00:34:22] kind of six communication websites out there, which have like, pre made lists of like, here are all the different things someone might think of doing sexually. And you tip like yes, no, or maybe so you don't have to say like this, or do you want to do this thing right here on the list you can be like I was just on the list and the face by second wasn't my idea. But I you interested in that? [00:34:40] Maybe I into [00:34:45] forgiving the path. [00:34:47] I was gonna say it's kind of following on from what Megan said that because I feel like we don't we really don't get taught how to, um, have these conversations and Iran consultant, things like that very well. And I feel like, if you're feeling a bit nervous about it, like a go, it has to be like, instead of being like, I like this Baba, SB, like, what do you like, and to kind of open the conversation up to give them a way to come to you and share it, and then it kind of becomes reciprocal. And it's like, if you start that, if you're not just like, this is what I like, I don't like this for, like, opening that conversation up by asking name is really important. If you feel comfortable do that. It's a really, really awesome thing to be like to do for both of you. Yeah. [00:35:27] Yes. [00:35:31] People permission to sign on? Sure. [00:35:36] Not sure. Yeah. And they have a chicken and they kind of guys. [00:35:39] Also, I guess making assumptions about what sixes so obviously, assumption, in terms of men who have six have mean, there are you know, here on people not only do or you can go inside here, I don't see it. And it's just like everybody's understanding of a norm who is generally strength right in the head, this idea of six and I think there's also ideas about what six between woman or six between, okay, not only do we have ideas about what six between non binary people looks like because not many people know about no one people, but kind of being aware that six looks different, actually. And what feels good, is different to everybody. And that's okay, and it's normal. And, and yet, and also being able to have a conversation, that it's just about the I think it's given permission. So if you're saying it, so now I'm not really into that, but we don't take it personally about each other. It's not a rejection of somebody that I don't like it really touched me there, or I really don't want to do that situate that's just not right for that person. And you don't have to take this is a personal project. Yeah. [00:36:44] It's great. Thank you. Yes. [00:36:48] Oh, sure. Why not? [00:36:51] I come one example I have is like, when you like sort of casual stuff, or even if you're in a relationship, and unlike the gay community, but one of the big questions you have to ask as your top or your bottom because of that. So like the one thing that you had to get asked or asked to bring something like comfortable situation, otherwise, you could end up being in the bedroom and all of a sudden end up in this awkward situation where you're like, well, who's going to do what now? And you only want that, and so yeah, let's and so it's like that pre communication stance to it. So yeah. [00:37:27] All right. [00:37:29] Okay, next question. Binding help. [00:37:35] He can help us with this one. [00:37:37] I believe that I believe that. [00:37:43] Basically, [00:37:46] this point bind is a binder. If you can't afford a binder, there's things like, skies. thing, three, trans trans Gareth. [00:37:59] I'm not in exactly sure. The whole details with that. Also, you can use our latest sports bras as another safe way to bind. Never use bandages or duct tape or anything that's not leaks of all because you will miss all your breathing and you load this up your ropes and it will hurt like hell. [00:38:26] Also, another thing I'm really guilty [00:38:28] of doing this myself but moving eight hours at a time, don't be an overnight moves really sucks sometimes, but [00:38:36] missing [00:38:38] your boobs up enough that you're not going to be able to get top surgery one day will suck even more. [00:38:45] Thank you. [00:38:47] I just want to say like duct taping really hurts. Don't do that [00:38:51] yet. No, no. [00:38:53] No bandages [00:39:00] coming down. Yeah. [00:39:10] So sometimes bind is not accessible. So what can [00:39:13] you do about it? [00:39:15] Talk to me. [00:39:18] I actually set up the organization to do this for coindesk into the country, because they're really expensive to source and no one in New Zealand actually makes them. So I got a call that was a little bit overseas and asked, What can I do for the country? [00:39:39] As far as I'm aware, they already first museum Pepsi has a large quantity of them. And biologic meaning over 200 moments. [00:39:49] Several different sorts. [00:40:00] Ones that people with, it's really smoke, or is it the school. [00:40:09] This is the one that comes up. [00:40:11] It's got two compression layers of three, three in the front and one in the back. [00:40:20] squashes everything around. as well. [00:40:26] Literally. [00:40:31] This one, this is early OH moments kind of died. [00:40:38] Yeah, they eventually do stretch out and become pretty useless. [00:40:43] It really tight to where I can actually comfortably breathe most of the time, you've got a brand new one on they do a good job. [00:40:53] I don't [00:40:56] encourage people to physically exercise with them. [00:41:00] Let's see constricting your lungs were in one [00:41:05] of the price that I paid for it [00:41:09] buries the cheaper ones $10 more expensive ones that are at the moment about 50. [00:41:18] The smaller ones we bring in an agent sizes, it literally makes it really quite small people. [00:41:25] I've got them for Excel. So [00:41:29] think about 150 seems to be the chase. [00:41:33] And if you're outside of those we can get. [00:41:45] Yeah, it just comes in a little white postage bag. [00:41:50] Okay, so we've gone well over our time. So we're just going to sort of been through the questions and tablets taken some that that other people will be able to answer and gone to quickly kind of discuss with some of the the Christians that have got a more clinical aspect and we'll answer those for you. And cows going to sneak off. So thank you very much cow. Okay, go that. So this one, I'm going to hand out two rows, so I can trans guys get pregnant from someone, if from someone with a penis happy is on T and periods have stopped. [00:42:28] I don't really know. But but but what I was gonna say is in any situation where there are spoon and a cervix. You know, someone can get pregnant, you can never say it won't happen. And this happens, even you know, with people who are hit for sexual there are assumptions that you can get pregnant for all sorts of reasons. And you can never make that assumption. So you're always going to treat it as if it could happen. At least this some absolutely definite was from somebody who knows some clinical person who knows that the way things are in your body, that it can't happen [00:43:09] in the next question, which is [00:43:13] if I use a towel, the same anonymous, [00:43:16] probably not. Depends what you do with a towel, right? Yeah. You can probably use a towel to try and get great, you know, if you want to do it that way you can have a good probably will work very well. But you know, it's all comes down to does the spoon get into the right place? Yeah. [00:43:36] If you're not having anal sex back doing ever sexual stuff, what are the risks and I and I'm going to I'm going to assume we mean is ti risks here. So [00:43:49] Maria, would you like to [00:43:52] and so by other stuff, that could mean a whole range of things that could be talking about six of in a variety that could be talking about touching each other's Geno's. So for St. Eyes, the risks really have to do with either skin to skin contact. And usually that's genital skin, so not so much kind of someone's hand to someone's genitals, not really any risk there but skin to skin contact of genitals, or if any fluids have been exchanged. And that can include semen or vaginal fluids going from somebody's body to somebody's mouth as well. So in those cases, they are risks for st eyes. And they can be a little bit lower than other types of six, but they still exist. And that would be for skin to skin contact around things like herpes and genital warts. And also chlamydia and gonorrhea can be passed and non penetrated ways as well. And anything you want to add to that rose, [00:44:53] know you pretty well covered. [00:44:56] And last but certainly not least six toys. So and how to use them. So we don't have enough time. And there's loads different loads of different sex toys, and loads of different ways to use them. And maybe that would be something that he wants to talk about after dinner. [00:45:18] I would just like to say [00:45:21] what a point that I would just like to make about six toys is that actually if you're using them with multiple partners, there is a risk of transmitting STI so that they're like a body part. So you know, you can use condoms on them and just make sure you give them a good clean. Okay, thank you all very much for having me.

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