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Aaron - Q12 [AI Text]

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Hello. How are you today? Very good. What do you do? I am a bartender at Family bar. Bartender at Family Bar. Yes. So are you just a bartender or a manager? I am bar manager. Something you have to get used to now? Yes, definitely. So while you're so we can get a little bit knowledge about yourself, Um what are your interests, or can you tell us about yourself? Um, I like bartending. [00:00:30] Um, drinking, partying, being social, dressing up in weird outfits. Not drag, though. Um um, being crazy, Um, that pretty much sums up everything I could have. Probably just said being crazy, but, you know, Yeah, I think you don't need to dress up as dragon family because Robina does it at all for you. Um I don't know if she does drag, but she definitely does have a presence. She has her own. [00:01:00] She has a new therefore drag. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Avant garde. Very, you know. Yeah. So, um, how are how are you? How old are you? I am 25 25. Um, what is your gender identity? I am gay male. Um, what is your culture identity? I am part Maori, part European. So I'm probably more [00:01:30] Maori rather than Yeah. So your sexuality is Takata? Pretty much. Yeah. So when did you first realise, uh, when I was 12? You want to elaborate? Um, when I was 11, I had this crush on this girl, and, um, when I came back after Christmas, I had a crush on her brother. Oh, that was interesting. How did you feel when you realised that you had a crush on the former crushes girl's [00:02:00] brother? Um, I still had a crush on her, but I had a crush on him, and, um, I had no idea. I was just I don't know, I kind of thought it really strange. And I thought it was probably just a phase, and I'll probably go grow out of it or something. I don't know pretty much when you're that age. You don't really sort of Yeah. You know what gay and was when you were at that age? Yes, I did. So did you think that Oh, maybe I'm buy or [00:02:30] something like that? No. Wasn't really a thing where I was growing up, To be quite honest in the nineties. Um, no, it was. Yeah, that was the nineties, actually. Well, what were we wearing in the nineties? I can't remember what we were wearing in the nineties. Um, cargo pants, army cargos. I think they were. That was a big thing. Um, what else was we were wearing? Um, [00:03:00] just really horrible looking clothes. Um, anything. The Backstreet Boys wore things today. They would just look at old photos and be like, Oh, God, I wore that. I don't have any old photos. I burnt them. So, um, when you first realised, um, did you ever thought that you had to keep a secret from everybody? Yes, pretty much it. It pretty much stayed to myself. I did not, you know, because I didn't want to come out and then, you know, be like, Oh, I'm gay. Or like, oh, I'm [00:03:30] this or label myself because I don't really You know, I don't really like label labelling people or being labelled. Yeah, and plus, it was the nineties, and it was the nineties, late nineties, but still in the nineties, nineties or nineties, and that's what matters. Um, So what was your general feelings that you had around that time? Um, sort of confused. Um, I was kind of like, like, sort of just, you [00:04:00] know, just looking at guys. I don't know. It's kind of a little bit strange. Really? For me, For me at that stage? Oh, yeah. Looking at guys in the distance from a distance, some of them probably knows. Probably thought I was a little bit weird, which I was anyway, so it kind of didn't really It's OK. We're all weird. Um, that's what our community is, the weird people. Um, So, um, are you out of the closet now? Yes, [00:04:30] I am. Completely. Completely. Yeah. There's no doors left. I don't even think there's a closet left anymore. Four is the closet. It's walking. Yeah, I know. And it's full of my costumes. So, um what? How did you come out of the closet? Um, it was really late. Actually, I was almost 21. It was about a week before my birthday. And, um, I most of my friends were straight, and I'd sort of, like, been to the family twice. Only twice at that [00:05:00] stage. And I we played truth with there, and I told them that I was gay. Yeah. Did they have like, um, ID a or something like that. Or, um, the reaction was just, um and and then we just kept on drinking. How lovely. So, uh, how about for your family? How did you tell your family? Um, my my mom pretty much found out later on. And then, um well, my dad was already dead, [00:05:30] so he never found out. Um, yeah, everyone just pretty much slowly found out after that. And when I went up north, they pretty much already knew as soon as I arrived that I was gay and everyone was, you know, really happy about it. My family is, you know, they didn't really care about that sort of thing. They're sort of like, I don't know, country Maori people. So to say, who gives a crap? Did you arrive like, very flaming or something like that? No, not at all. But I mean, compared [00:06:00] to, you know, say a farming community. I suppose someone wearing anything with a label on it is probably considered a little bit gay. Does look at any boy from the city all those city boys, they must be gay. Yeah, pretty much. No I. I don't know um, I think they they just kind of knew when I arrive. I was just, you know, more confident. And before that, you know, while I was in the closet, if I could probably say [00:06:30] that, You know, no one really asked me if I was gay, but yeah, um, I was kind of a little bit more reserved, A bit more quieter. Not as outgoing, not as expressive. Probably just pent up. So you're originally from the country, then? Yes. I'm from the Bay of Islands. Small place called Sort of, um, gravel roads. And, you know, no shops at all. Sort of a nothing place, [00:07:00] but, you know, Yeah. So you live in the city now? Yes. I live in Auckland. Auckland City boy from family. Yeah, pretty much so. Yeah. Um, So when you first came to the city, how old were you when you came to the city? Uh, when I came to Auckland, I was 16. Were you with your family or, um, I pretty much got moved around like through family members. So I was living with my grandmother. My dad had foster parents, foster parents, kids. I was staying [00:07:30] with them for a little while, um, back around. I moved around a lot, so eventually ended up at my mom's down in. And then we moved up to Auckland because it was going to be better for me, for my studying and stuff. And I was really into astronomy, So, yeah. Are you still into astronomy? Um, not really. No, I don't really have much time for it, but I don't know, I kind of just lost that sort of, you know, aspect. After my dad died. Yeah. [00:08:00] So when you came to, um, Auckland was like going through the big changes. Um, it was OK, actually, I was kind of, um of before, As soon as I turned 15, I became a little bit more social and, like, you know, got a few more friends and things like that. Whereas before that I was pretty much the loner type person that got beaten up and picked on a lot. And I know when I moved to Auckland, I kind of had a group [00:08:30] of friends and they kind of started just I don't know, Maybe I got on their nerves or something, so I kind of figured out the best way was to, um, make a whole bunch of groups of friends. And then when one group pisses me off, well, I, you know, get on their nerves. I'll just move on to the next one and hang out with them and hang out with another group and hang out with another group. And pretty much, yeah. Um, So when you first realised, did you win for a big denial stage? [00:09:00] Pretty much, Yeah, until I was about 14. And then I kind of like how you say, hooked up with a guy. One of my friends kind of just do all those experimental things. And I was like, Oh, I'll just get this out of my system type of thing, you know, as you do, you're naive. You say, Oh, just do it once and it go away, And it really didn't It probably made it worse. What about for him? Did it went away for him? Was that when he was going [00:09:30] through the experimental stage that he got out of that phase that he thought it was a phase, or did he actually got worse as well? Um, I think he was bisexual, not actually gay, but, um II I kind of feel like when I when I met him. Later on, even though nothing happened, I kind of felt like maybe, you know, he was a little bit still bisexual. So, um, did you have any support? Um, when you came out? Um, [00:10:00] not really. Um, when I actually came out, it was probably the hardest thing for me, but probably the easiest thing for everyone else. And they were just like, you know, they were happy for me. And, you know, I was kind of a little bit angry because I kind of felt like I pretty much robbed most of my life through not coming out. But I was, You know, I didn't want to come out until I actually knew what being gay was and that I could still be [00:10:30] me, but be gay and yeah, So what? Who I am type of thing. So what was the experience? Um, So what are some of the experience that you've had on K Road? Um Well, where do I start? Um, two hours later. Two hours later. Yeah. Um, I don't know. There's been some positive ones. There's been some really, really bad ones as well. but I don't know. I find [00:11:00] that humour gets me through most of the bad stages. Um, I know I I've been beaten up a couple of times. Not through one time was the excuse of me being gay, but, you know, I know his face was a bit mangled as well. Not your reason. Yeah, Yeah, I kind of blacked out. Oops. But yeah, um, I've gotten over the stage. If someone calls me a faggot now, I don't really care. Whereas before it was like it was really? You know, [00:11:30] if someone calls you a faggot, you're just like, Yes, I am. I'm just like and yeah, but, um, yeah, I didn't like the label for a little while, but now I've kind of, like, begun to I don't know, accept it a little bit and just, like, you know, own it. So, um, how did you feel when you came out to your bunch of friends? Um, I felt like a big giant weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I think they kind of felt the same way. Um, and slightly [00:12:00] drunk and slightly drunk and yeah, yeah, it was all right. It was actually a really positive experience. I heard some pretty, like very bad stories from other people's coming out experiences. And I was like, I'm kind of glad that I had, like, that group of those group of friends there, and I maybe I subconsciously chose them because I knew that. You know, maybe if I did come out, they would be a little bit more, you know, positive towards it. Despite the fact that I bought [00:12:30] all the booze that night. So and there was still a lot of alcohol left, so yeah, so they had to be nice, and half of them were living with me as well. So yeah. So, um, you've had, uh So you've been in relationships before? Um, I think I'm in a relationship every week. Uh, my Facebook is pretty much a, um I don't know. I think you'd compare it to the bachelor. Really? [00:13:00] Um, I've got a boyfriend now. He's he's a nice guy. Um, he's not in Auckland, which is probably a good thing, because I don't really. Most of my, um, partners anyway are not from Auckland, because I just don't get along with Auckland. Why is that? I have no idea I'm just don't I don't know. Um a lot of a lot of Aukland and gay guys sort of have, like, this perception and like, this whole like [00:13:30] image and trying to be perfect. And I'm kind of exactly the opposite. I don't want to be perfect. I just want to just be me and just do whatever the hell I feel like within, you know, bounds. You know, within morals and stuff like that Law go around robbing houses or anything like that. You know, Laura is there for a reason. So, um so what is your definition of virginity? [00:14:00] Virginity? Explain. Some people have, um, their own definition of virginity. Like some people think it's a mind thing. Some people think it's a physical thing. Some people think it's a religious thing or a spiritual thing. Some people think it's just a sexual thing is in virginity. Um, I don't know it. It depends, I suppose how you lose it. Um, [00:14:30] I think probably, you know, when you when you lose your virginity and you know, if you end up with the first love or something like that because there's two different virginity as your physical one, which has no real relevance. Then there's your sort of, like, I don't know, your first love. Like I had my first love when I was about 16, and he was in the closet as well, and he was bisexual, and he I know. [00:15:00] So, like my first, Like, in that sense, But I lost my virginity a long time before that. So, um, when you were, um So you've received a lot of abuse on Cairo before, right? Um, not a lot of abuse. Um, I know I probably received more abuse from gay people than I do from, you know, straight people. But I kind of just throw it back at people and just I don't know, I've used them back. What [00:15:30] sort of abuse have you received? Um uh, I remember one time, um I was in a certain bar, and I think it was a Monday night after our, um we had stuff, drinks, and, um, a couple of guys came in and started, like, yelling abuse at about everyone and things like that, and I kind of like, took it into my hands to get them to leave. And, um, I got dragged across the bus and I had my face stomped on and, yeah, I don't remember much [00:16:00] of that, but it healed up within a couple of days, so except I had a little bit of a Terminator eye until new year. So I got the nickname Terminator for about a few weeks, so no one missed with you after that. Um, no one actually does mess with me. Anyway, I've I've kind of, like, really straight up sort of how I been brought up and my family is really, you know, a spade a spade type of thing. So it's kind of like if someone, if someone has a problem with me, I sort it out straight [00:16:30] away. I don't, you know, talk about them behind their back. Unless I'm going to talk about to their face as well. Um, and I just, you know, live by those sorts of morals, you know? Yeah. So most of my friends are pretty much similar personalities. Some of them talk about each other, and it's, you know, we all, you know, go through stages where we we hate this person or that person, but yeah, you kind of get over that very easily. Just move on. OK, so, um, thank you for the interview. [00:17:00] Uh, you're welcome. Thank you.

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AI Text:September 2023