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Peri Te Wao profile

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride in [00:00:06] So I'm here with PT today. It's a lovely sunny day and we're at separated. I know. How's it going today pT? [00:00:13] kilda? Yes, it's it's going really well today. We've just finished out poverty and hunger. And I know I think everybody sees me down to some serious with shopping. [00:00:22] Right. So this is a chassis submission, defense transgender [00:00:27] changed in relation to the transgender inquiry. That's correct. Yeah. [00:00:31] Yeah. And they might be changed sort of startup at some time, but we're hoping it'll leave off. [00:00:37] Got you live in Washington. You grew up here. I [00:00:40] didn't grow up here. I actually grew up in my hometown in, in [00:00:44] Tokyo, and I was born in toda [00:00:47] my mom and dad [00:00:49] from up and down that way. And then when my mom died when I was about three, I was found out to an auntie and uncle in Rotorua. So I grew up it Pinnacle point and noted to the pretty much to leave time. Yeah. [00:01:04] And what was leaving home life [00:01:06] was really scary. I mean, [00:01:08] colored, didn't know what to expect. It was it was really a time that I either left home and and found myself or I just was like the rest of my following got stuck in a rut and just did what they all didn't, which was you know, live in died in the same place, but I needed to venture out. [00:01:28] And so you've been involved with the kind of queer trends gay lesbian community for quite a while. [00:01:34] I have pretty much since I've been on my own I left home I I actually joined the military, and then with my family for few years, and after that, I actually found the evening before leaving the military, I found that I actually belonged to the to the, the, the wider gay and trans community and from their own have been there ever since [00:01:59] you How was [00:02:00] that journey? And did you kind of always know was a slow kind of knowing or [00:02:05] always knew that [00:02:06] I was who I am. In that as a male. I always knew that from from a young age. But I guess I had to kind of like, be tolerant with everybody and waste my time. And don't know where I learned to be tolerant, but somehow at work done really well. And then when I came came through and living out as an adult, in many experiences, excellent. good in bed. Yeah, well, part of my journey. So I take it is all my learning. Yeah. [00:02:40] And we you lots of some some trans guys, I know. We kind of came out as lesbians and loved and conduct community or lesbian community for a while. And then and you know, and then continued on and transition. Was it like that for you? Or? [00:02:57] Yep, it was, it was actually because it was no, didn't really know. [00:03:01] Well, [00:03:02] yeah, what I was really old, I knew I was a guy. But I couldn't get a guy because I had a female body. So I was living as a female, but I knew who I was inside. And so I was attracted to females. Therefore, my community at that time would have been in the, in the gay community will be with the women. I never really call myself, you know, a gay woman, because I didn't really think I was, but I had to affiliate to somebody. And it was really cool, because I was embraced. And yeah, I guess they saw me as a lesbian as a, you know, whatever you might call call me those days back in the 70s, and 80s. And the unusual thing of that is that I loved sports. So I played a lot of sports in the community. But I was always on the outside, I wasn't actually really, inside the gay community, like, like, really inside, like when you go to places and you're like, you know, lon lot of the party, and you know, everybody, I kind of knew people, but I was always the shy one always on the outer watching. And that's pretty much how I live my life on the art of watching them, and also accepting the the opening up to the community to me, because I had no other place to go. I didn't have a family. So I had to try and make my friends and family and it happened to be in the gay community amongst the women. Yeah. So and I was embraced in they embrace me in a very respectful way. But even to this day, who I am now, I will still support and I still have a great respect for L gay woman. I really do. [00:04:44] So when you transition like is, well, I guess you always knew who you were. But when you kind of know that, what was some of the responses, I guess you take a little bit within con lesbian and gay, it was quite [00:04:57] interesting because because like the was on the [00:05:00] outside, I wasn't really a person that was the limelight of anything really. And, and I had a relay I was in relationship with with a woman and we were live quite almost quite like a private life really. So it wasn't it didn't hit them really, really badly or, or positively, it just really didn't really go there. Because as I transitioned, my, my movements transition to I decided to become a little bit more reclusive, and a little bit more worried about what I needed to do for me. So I kind of like it to also stop what I enjoyed doing in the community, which is playing sport, I had to give up my sporting sporting life to support what I was about to go through to change my body. So I kind of like moved a little bit away from them, but not too far that they didn't know was still around. And I guess I I'm not the sort of person that like I said, likes the limelight. So I was always somebody that was a way in the background. And I get the communication that I received really was a respectful one. And understanding one, there were one or two that just couldn't work me out anyway, from the start. So that didn't really bother me. I think I kind of like had this bit of a shield up where I didn't find or didn't look for or didn't even hear negativity. I really just had enough energy to just go forward and concentrate on getting myself in the space where I needed to be. And to be honest, I didn't hear that much negativity at all. Yeah, [00:06:30] so it's an easy thing for you to decide to transition will you just kind of wait until the time was right all [00:06:36] I was kind of waiting for the time. So I see it. I didn't know a name for myself didn't know that were called transsexual, transgender. And these are changeable. [00:06:45] And I didn't know when [00:06:46] did you kind of first hear that to me, like we [00:06:52] must have been about 2122. And I heard, you know, these people called transsexuals. And living in Wellington. I might have been in the army, you know, it was only evergreen. And she taught me the readout again, and it's like, I think those places, you know, you get this feeling inside. It's like, okay, yeah. And it's like, I'm, I can relate to this, and you get this, this adrenaline rush. And he stopped thinking, Hey, this is I think I'm funny. What's the term again? And then and then and and see some of the street girls in the street queens and I'm thinking, Oh, yeah, I can relate to you, but not like you the opposite. But I'm feeling really a connection here. And, and that was, that was really cool. But it was it was, I guess, me when I started understanding that and started reading up about what the heck is transsexual and what's a transgender? And then other Sure, it's me, it's me. And I found that out myself. I'm a bit slow. I mean, I took me years to 2020 total, oh, did the light went on and on and I connected with myself, but was saying, I think I'm one of these people. Because I'm certainly not a female. I MMO [00:08:08] even though got a female's body. I [00:08:11] don't want to them, you know, and it was a hell of a revelation is a freaking It was absolutely freaking [00:08:20] you know, that I'd be staring in the mirror, looking at myself, you know, and going. What the hell, you know, [00:08:27] I, you know, just, I spent a bit of time talking to myself. [00:08:31] And what I had to end up doing is [00:08:35] looking beyond the face and inside and going what's in your heart, man? What's in it? What is your heart telling you my heart screaming out, you're a man, you know, this, you were born to be a man. Everything you your whole energy is about being a man. It's like, true, it was self ignores. But it was I did it all my own stand in front of a mirror by myself, pasted together. And it was really, really freaking. It was really considering I was in a relationship. I had to, to kind of like communicate the sort of, Hey, you know, you know, this relationship we're in. It's not quite what it's about. But at the time, my, my, my partner at the time was all about here. Her family her life, she knew I had no family she knew I was kind of like Elsa from the family. So she couldn't find it to that. So for me, it was like, now you're not the right person I need to share this with so it was a time where lots of things happened. Not just funny myself. But I was had to find where I was in my relationship. Where I was in my, my head space in my workspace. [00:09:43] Everything Really? So it was freaky. Yeah. [00:09:51] And what did it feel like? I guess? [00:09:55] Because you you totally are men. [00:09:58] So how do you kind of feel now to when before when you knew you were a man inside, but you knew that other people thought that you weren't? [00:10:06] Yeah, I wished I i excuse expression. I wish I had balls, you know, lean to actually kind of wake up to the situation earlier. And not waste those previous years. By being not so much a nobody but being demo myself knowing that it was something not right, but not knowing what was being done about it. And being brought up in my home to be seen and not heard. So I was really pissed off at myself because I wasted so much precious time. But then on the other hand, I managed to, you know, convince myself that maybe the universe save you is a Tyler price. I may have been too young people would have doubted me, I might have doubted myself. I'm at an age now when when I transition I was at an age where y'all could take it on full bore. And except whatever happens happens. Maybe I was too young. I don't know. But I do feel I regrets taking so long to get get myself sold out. [00:11:12] What age were you when you got it sorted? If you don't mind me asking? Sure. [00:11:15] I was 22. And I realized that I put one on one together on the trains, yeah. [00:11:23] Then I had to work through my relationships, I [00:11:27] actually had a couple of relationships. And at the same time, no [00:11:33] one realized it was going nowhere. [00:11:36] And leave that one but I actually went straight into another one because because I was so hot in my young days, [00:11:41] I had women chasing your time. So I had [00:11:49] another relationship and it was like, [00:11:52] you know, when you're young, you just you just die for wanting to be loved. And so you gain this relationship and you wasted a few years trying to sort the crap out just as much as your own crap [00:12:04] and waste all the time. [00:12:06] So it wasn't till I was 29 [00:12:09] when I decided stuff, this stuff, the relationships they're not working and get yourself you know, on track so I had to really really make the make the effort for myself so I promised myself when I turned 29 to actually go to my doctors things [00:12:27] things weren't working my relationships and go [00:12:28] to doctors and get it sorted out from the and it started from stage one so I'm there's something wrong with me. [00:12:34] By being honest with my GP [00:12:37] and even side I'm not a woman and it was just like the hugest Revelation the hugest lifting off of so much. [00:12:47] So much. Whatever you might call it [00:12:49] the weight just lifted when I actually say that to a stranger, which is my GP. [00:12:53] Was it the first person you don't know the stranger? [00:12:56] stranger at all? Yeah. And and see just caught it like didn't even flinch actually smiled. eyes lit up with this. I know just the thing. And of the you kidding me? You know what I'm saying? I didn't say the right words just unacceptably what you're saying. Our fee to the hospital. From here on. This is the result. Yeah. One GP by being upfront and honest. And not being arrogant and not saying demanding them to fix whatever the problem is. I didn't have a problem. I just didn't know what the hell was going on with myself. I just needed somebody to guide me in the right place. Yeah. So it was all on from there. It was game on from 29 [00:13:38] Yeah, and just uphill from there. [00:13:41] And well, [00:13:42] my more confusions and [00:13:44] it was like there's just no going back. It was like, all I needed was somebody to just open the door. That's pretty much what she did. She just opened the door, and I've done the wrist. I've kind of like walk through the door. Just keep going and going and going. And it was Yeah, took me 29 years for somebody to come and open the door. But sometimes it happens. [00:14:10] So you're part of quite a few groups trains guys support groups or [00:14:14] you some I actually [00:14:17] since I've been a Willington have been doing lots of stuff for even the wider community for for the LGBT community and even just mainstream really have these things out there that interest me and I just go in there and just help out. My first lot of volunteer work was with the Sisters of compassion, and I've [00:14:39] been with them ever since really, I'm still there [00:14:41] and they're fantastic. [00:14:42] And you know, from starting to [00:14:44] walk the land decided pick up a T Tom help them soup kitchen, and just been embraced by by the sisters there. And and get you know, it was a two way to a thing or two a love and [00:14:56] a two way support that I was getting from the other, we're like a family [00:14:58] becoming a director on the board and becoming, you know, helping with these centenary celebrations and just getting involved in the and at the same time doing things in the, in the, in the wider gay community. You know, the dragon boats, all the little things that go on the city council advisory committees, is forming my own group, if TMR tailed off, and now just a very, very new group of my wife and I've just launched with this topic, [00:15:28] you know, just forever [00:15:30] evolving. If we ever looking at things that interest me anything I can offer some help. I even do it for voluntary New Zealand. So, you know, what if it comes through busy man, a good variety of stuff? Yeah, a good variety. [00:15:46] You find yourself having to do a lot of education kind of one on one transport one with people you meet, or people kind of clued up these days are [00:15:55] I do some I prefer to leave it to people who love to do that [00:16:01] cup of tea. So [00:16:02] Tina seemed to be a little bit I am naturally shy, it's in our family, that we actually shy people who don't really like to, to stand up and talk. And I've actually inherited that gene. So I do prefer to leave that to people who are good at that. And there's quite a few so much talent actually in our community to do that work. But I will put my hand up and do it once in a while, you know, behind the [00:16:26] scenes, I am a behind the scenes person. I've just finished doing a course, a diploma management advanced. [00:16:32] And one section day, we actually had to find out our strengths and our skills. And what came out, I was the only one in the entire class that had the skill where I was. I live from the back. Yeah, and I didn't like the front. And the limelight inside I'm actually true to who I am as a person. [00:16:54] So what do you thoughts on? I guess? I don't know if it's even a good tune, but the wider kind of trained sky community now is it? Is it more common? Is it is it easy getting easier for people to to [00:17:08] be who they are, or? Well, I hope it is. I hope that it's [00:17:13] wide enough and, and, and, and diverse enough for anybody out there to feel that they can walk through the door and feel comfortable to actually come for because I know it's takes a lot of energy just to walk through that door takes a lot of energy to even acknowledge that you need to consider that. So then the people need to feel that they will be respected when they will for those doors. And in the wider the bitter. I say. I mean, I get educated every day, you know, and UTM will come through and it's like haven't heard that before. Wicked. What does it mean? Everyone is explained? Okay. Okay, fair enough. And I've been educated ever since day one. When I knew who I was to not think it's just my why type that there's so many different terminologies and so many different characteristics that individuals own. And just as much as you know, people might say, [00:18:11] like me, oh, it's different. [00:18:13] Well, they might think I'm different. So again, a two way thing. So it's about respecting that and hoping that the door is wide enough if it's not make it wider. [00:18:24] choice. So we've got the out games coming out. I know that I'm because you're me. We're at the when? [00:18:33] The night. [00:18:36] Pacific out games. Yeah. [00:18:37] Melvin and you play tennis? I did. What are you planning on playing as a next year? [00:18:45] Yeah, and I love that. It was [00:18:47] like, first off, if I've done something like that, really? Yeah, I've never done anything like that. [00:18:53] And I read all those sports he used to play [00:18:55] Yep, there was just playing sports at this level, just playing sports. You know, it just played sports for a team, but not going out on my own and taking off overseas and taking part in it. And I needed that because the spikes from the games came over and visited a couple hacker group in Spokane. And I was I didn't think anything of it. I was never going. And when he spoke I just turned around to my wife and just can I go? He says cushy can go Okay, what am I gonna do? This is what go play tennis. Okay, then I hadn't played for like 20 years, when I was, you know, in the army and stuff. So, [00:19:29] because i i'd stopped playing sports because of [00:19:31] all the surgeries I've taken, done. And in order to just help my body heal, and just take care of myself. I just didn't play any sports and such. So that okay, if you want to put me a record. So, [00:19:43] yeah, I decided [00:19:44] you're going to go to this to this games thing over in Australia. And it was quite funny because I think it was the fattest contestant via there's about 245 contestants of three grades, because I didn't even belong to a club and I was never trained a lot being the C grade. And I didn't have a partner so they had to put my name in a hat and mix me with the other strangers so that all this is a hard case. So I'll go along with it. And I came in with two middles, I came home with a bronze medal for the singles and the silver medal for the doubles so I got a Fed hit on that. That's why I want to play tennis again this [00:20:24] is gonna play [00:20:26] and tell us about um, we had a bit of a what was it a performance benefit [00:20:35] not only do we going to play tennis with [00:20:39] stage opening night with like six of us, and like literally thousands of pairs of eyes watching us at this grand opening [00:20:46] of the first ever Asia Pacific outcomes. [00:20:51] Hey, we have to take our tops off so not only [00:20:56] it was like Casey my [00:20:59] boys in the house. Not only was like Casey myself, like cut a voicemail cut almost a [00:21:04] bit of white. [00:21:06] So here I am. Full Screen. No top. Fat is trying to do the haka. Oh my gosh. I'll never forget that in a hurry. [00:21:15] That was pretty funny. [00:21:18] Yeah, he thinks he's pity for sharing with us and good luck for the Tina's for next year.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It is not a transcript, it has not been checked by humans and will contain many errors. However it is useful for searching on keywords and themes.