Article Title:Pride Debate: blow by blow
Author or Credit:Jacqui Stanford (with pics from Andrea!)
Published on:18th February 2013 - 07:37 pm
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Story ID:12939
Text:We blogged live from Galatos Live .... catch up on the night here! 9.35PM: Team Jacinda and the affirmatives win! Taro Patch liked the fact the affirmative had a costume. “Jacinda you are pretty and funny and skinny. Bitch!” On a more serious note, Steven Oates has paid tribute to the MPs for being incredibly supportive of us all. Our verdict: HILArioUS! IrrevERent! BrilLIAnt! Maybe we can have an all-male debate next year? The men do have a lot to live up to though … And well done to Steven Oates and his helpers – you are all winners! Naww... 9.30PM : Aych from Rainbow Youth has issued thanks for all those who have turned up, and all those who have supported the WTF campaign. “When it passes we will be a more tolerant society, so maybe I will finally have the courage to ask Jacinda out on a date.” Credit to Karl Moser who has given up his time for free to be the sound guy. He is also an awesome DJ … And now Taro Patch is about to announce the winner …. 9.15PM: Hold music as the judge's deliberate ... 9.10PM: Ardern is up to rebut. Gay people want marriage for love, nothing else, she says. She has offered a future ‘Wikipedia’ entry about marriage equality … gag aimed at John Key discovering equality then commenting on a reporter’s red shirt at the stand-up went down well, as did one about a certain National MP … Argument hinges on the fact that moot “proved” to be correct, in retrospect. Jan Maree rebutting now. Has been impressed by Jacinda will go far … “Marriage has been ruined by straight people for years. You deserve the chance to fuck it up.” She says if marriage is a queer notion, what are we fighting for? “We are not saying that it shouldn’t be allowed. We all support it.” “I’ve fucked my career as a comedian enough without getting my tits out for the gay community,” and then she flashed her bra. Our dedicated photographer was there in a flash: Noise Control has been called as we are cheering too loud, Oates has announced. “But they can’t do anything till 10 o’clock so cheer away!” 9PM: Urzila Carlson says “marriage has got fuck all to do with politics, it’s going nothing to do with race. This is all bullshit … Who the fuck can tell us what to do? We need to include some violence in the message.” She says if you give us marriage we will “fix the fucking economy in a month … no one here is going to have a cheap ass wedding!” Carlson has mocked Garth McVicar, saying sure, she is going to steal a TV cause she can get married,  “I steal cause I am South African not cause I’m gay!” Hugest cheer and applause so far goes to our favourite South African. Nikki Kaye is up now, she is seriously so far … going back to the ACTUAL moot. She says no marriage is not a queer notion now - here or in many country in the world. She has summed up the opposition’s argument: “Well Jacinda has pulled out the boobies. Jan is from Waiheke so she gets my vote. Urzila Carlson said ‘let’s cause violence’. “We won at the moment Jacinda didn’t realise the debate was in the present tense.” A women just shouted “show us your tits.” Huge laugh. Team Nikki 8.50PM: Logie says we have let heterosexuals get married cause their lives just aren’t as exciting as ours. They don’t have festivals like we do. They tell us marriage is about family. “We are family,” she sang. “And once you’re married it’s all the same-sex anyway. Pretty close cheers between the two team, but Team Jacinda had the edge noise-wise. “Marriage a Maori notion” is Claudette Hauiti’s smart-ass argument. “We invented it.” She quotes the Treaty of Waitangi, Article something or other. Well her version of it! 8.44PM: Jan Maree says she is openly bisexual and will give anything a go – as long as they don’t stay too long at her house. “If you want a cuddle go to your mother.” She finished with “marriage is not queer notion but it fucking will be!” Massive cheers. Jan Logie is up now. She is wearing a full veil, holding a boquet and talking like a high school prefect. Hilarious. 8.39PM: The judges Campbell Oates, Verity George and Taro Patch are looking for wit humour, clarity, logic and relevance of point. And we are underway with David Farrier in charge and the crowd already raucous. Jacinda is up first with five minutes. Her team has started with a strip and dance to White Wedding and Jacinda is wearing an insanely cute but rather ridiculous wedding dress – as is Logie who Ardern says is “incomprehensively single.” Ardern says she is single because it’s hard to find a SNAG as they all have boyfriends already.   Queer means fabulous she says, and a whole lot of other stuff about fabulousness, with the verdict that marriage is for gays. Mitt Romney, a Mormon of course, has come under fire (long with all his wifes) – but he has a good friend who owns the whole of San Francisco so it’s fine, Ardern finished. “Some would say that marriage would tear at our social fabric. That’s ridiculous. Do you think gays would harm fabric?!” She finished: “From Cape Reinga to the Bluff, New Zealanders just love the muff, and the gays will own marriage!” Jan Maree is up now and has introduced herself as the sex symbol for people who don’t care anymore. “Nothing wins a debate like titties,” she said in rebuttal to Jacinda Ardern who said had get her sexy bits out. Jan Maree’s argument is that marriage is not YET a queer notion as we don’t have marriage equality yet. She says marriage is outdated and it ruins people, as “the facial tics start and the breathing starts annoying you.” Team Jacinda 8:30PM: Steven Oates has explained it wasn’t supposed to be an all-women debate, but it ended up as “fierce divas” as men stopped answering the phone, the more women who were involved. “I can feel the oestrogen on the stage,” he quipped. “And that’s just David Farrier.” Oates has thanked all the lesbians who have come, especially as it’s such a good night on TV – and many have already hooked up and moved in together since Pride started. Oates says Farrier wasn’t first choice as Chair, Jesse Mulligan was However the comedian said he was too busy. Has called him tonight and told him there are more people here than watching his new show. He has mocked Jacinda Ardern about growing up Mormon, in Morrinsville, asking if she was still wearing the special undies – to which she replied “why do you think I am wearing a trench coat”. Urzila Carlson, the self-declared party of the Lesbitarian Party which will have compulsory marriage after the third debate, plus pot luck dinners. Jan Logie has been exposed as a former ice skating champ who was a drag king, who specialised in Robbie Williams and the Pope – Oates said a job may be coming up. Nikki Kaye is an athletic overachiever we are told, and has been promoted to being Minister of Practically everything – and should be followed if there is an emergency. And she should also be blamed if there are any drunk Rainbow Youthers tonight as she was instrumental in keeping the drinking age at 18. Jan Maree has been mocked for travelling around the world and still living in Hamilton, the chlamydia capital of the world. Claudette Hauiti is a media personality, who Oates questioned for moving from Grassroots Labour to being a National candidate. Her wedding cost $100,000 apparently! 8.15PM: A straw poll of the crowd is overwhelmingly in favour of the Pride Parade being at night rather than the afternoon. And now we are meeting the debaters. "I love that the Green MP is in bare feed," MC Steven Oates has said in reference to Jan Logie. "Very environmental." 8PM: People are being turned away as Galatos is at capacity. Awesome for Rainbow Youth's coffers! Here are a few shots of people getting warmed up: 7.30PM: Seats for tonight’s Auckland Pride Debate have sold out, with those turning up to buy tickets being given the last of the standing room. Team Nykki Kaye is made up of the MP, along with TV producer Claudette Hauti and comedienne Jan Maree. On Jacinda Ardern’s team is funny girl Urzila Carlson and Green MP Jan Logie. TV3 journalist David Farrier is in charge of proceedings, while Campbell Orr, Taro Patch and Verity George of Garnet Station. The moot is “Marriage is a queer notion.” Proceeds from the event are going to Rainbow Youth. The debate gets underway and if you didn’t get a ticket we will report live, keeping you up with all the highlights and the low blows from Galatos Live. Jacqui Stanford (with pics from Andrea!) - 18th February 2013    
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