Sarah - South

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[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by pride in With Gareth, support from the rule foundation [00:00:07] How would you describe your identity? [00:00:09] Listen? [00:00:12] Would you say that you fit into any kind of like sub [00:00:17] cultures? [00:00:19] Or domain people? You know? [00:00:21] Do you mean like him? But I don't know, I don't really agree with those categories. The thing it's, you don't really judge straight people like that [00:00:33] line that we've looked at [00:00:36] six very interesting and special in terms of language has changed much. [00:00:41] I think that labels are definitely starting to be less important. Like a lot of people I know just heavier saying queer than that gay by whatever. I don't know I think it's more like people are more afraid have whatever experiences they want. Like more gay people feel safe, like having straight experiences and you know, vice versa, like straight people spirit mama experimenting, but having experiences. And then I don't know, if he was just more open to accepting that it's fluid, I think [00:01:21] Wednesday, Facebook on the way that you know, [00:01:27] I grew up in Chicago, which is very row very conservative as a whole. So it took quiet while I denied it for quite some time. There's more when I was about like, 15 or 16, kind of like hormonal teenager that it became incredibly obvious. But even then, I guess I was confused because everything around me was so he turned normative, that I was convinced that I was still into guys, that took a while to like, work through just convince us. Definitely enter guys for the longest time. [00:02:07] Do you remember seeing any kind of like messages from the family or people around you about your identity? [00:02:15] At my first High School, a lot of people used to be really anti gay, like say [00:02:21] the usual things like Adam and Eve No, Adam and Steve. [00:02:27] I don't know just lots of really cringe worthy things like that. And I went to an all girls school and Invercargill. So I don't know there was a lot of like gay jokes and stuff. Like she's a lesbian haha might be like a little area of states and I could like go ESPN pet because no one wanted to sit. Yeah. Yeah, so that was pretty much all I heard about queer people for a while. [00:02:55] What happened when you figured out that you went to go? [00:03:00] It was a little problematic. Like, I kind of tried to fight it a little bit. And then when I was six form, I changed high schools and I kind of went to a more liberal high school, I guess. And I just had like a lot of different people. So I don't know. Not Iran, there was really negative most people just really chill like, didn't have a problem with most things. So I get me more room to kind of work out my identity. I guess. [00:03:33] They had like a coming out America. [00:03:37] I don't know. It's pretty sneaky about it. I just [00:03:39] came out so gradually, because I just didn't want it to be a big deal. But I definitely because of where I was living. Because I lived way out in the country about like 45 minutes out from Invercargill. I knew that I couldn't come out to my appearance, because I didn't really have anywhere else to go, don't you any relatives area. [00:04:03] I know it seems a bit much to put that on my friends, so I have to [00:04:06] stay with them. So I came out to my friends really graduate, and then waited until it university to tell my friends [00:04:15] really, really, really badly. [00:04:20] Yeah, [00:04:20] like, kind of the classic story of telling my conservative, homophobic parents that you're gay, [00:04:29] like, [00:04:30] had all the classic reactions like [00:04:33] my mom cried [00:04:34] quite a bit. My dad and look at me three months to talk to me. [00:04:43] They threatened to cut me off. [00:04:46] So that would be really hard for me to manage stay at uni, because I didn't have a job or anything at the time, was kind of like supplementing what I was getting from the government and like study, like, with money from them. That was kind of tricky. And then [00:05:03] they come down, but [00:05:05] I didn't I used to get like homophobic ticks from them all [00:05:07] the time. And they told me that I was mentally Oh, I checked out. [00:05:15] My mom cried because she thought I was going to hell, [00:05:18] because they're like, Catholic. I seem pretty chill about the religion until I came out to them. [00:05:26] I don't know. It's, I guess it was really hard for them because they're from a very conservative Catholic, farming blokey background, so everything that ever known was like shaped towards this is bad. [00:05:45] Those kind of reactions. [00:05:49] As I know, a lot of pressure because I was doing [00:05:52] my hardest, you have my law degree at the time. [00:05:55] And I actually ended up suffering from anxiety, having panic attacks. That was pretty bad. So I ended up going to counseling for a bit, but I don't know, the more it kind of died down. And the more I kind of dealt with it and counseling bit, it was [00:06:12] a bit more supportive now. We just [00:06:15] don't talk about it. [00:06:18] Yeah. I mean, again, if you have a favorite jabs from them sometimes so kind of makes it tricky to go home for more than two weeks at a time. [00:06:27] Do you think it's harder to be in the south? And [00:06:31] definitely, [00:06:34] I guess because there's not any real queer role models. like growing up, I think I heard of like maybe one gay couple in the community that are in like a cafe or something. But that was that there was no one openly gay around [00:06:49] even like the really obviously gave, he fought at high school didn't come out, [00:06:55] because they were too afraid. And like, there's always stories that here like, had a story about a lesbian couple that got married, and then house got burnt down. And like ridiculous, things like that. So I think it's better now because I've heard that there's like, openly gay couples at the girls on the high school I went to now so obviously getting better. But [00:07:21] they said at the South Island, this like city is behind the little town. So is that? [00:07:27] What's it like being kind of transitioning from rural and cargo to donate and going to your visiting thing? [00:07:34] So good. So good, I guess because [00:07:41] today, there's such a concentration of like students, you don't really have as many like old mentalities around the place. But that being said, there's still a lot of homophobia, kind of like, in the shadows, I guess, like this guy there. And I got beaten up by Team guys and hospital, two of my straight male friends walking home at night and got beaten up because people thought that they were a gay couple. I mean, I verbally assaulted on my way home from town like [00:08:12] this guys, screaming ridiculous abuse, but having those small, isolated incidents, incidences, [00:08:22] it's a lot better. [00:08:24] Like, I had a girlfriend, Amelia, and I didn't feel that scared, like holding hands, or anything. But [00:08:31] obviously a few looks [00:08:34] a little [00:08:37] quicker community here, or [00:08:39] I'm pretty heavily involved. I'm on the committee for unique youth queer group on campus that's running through, like one of the university clubs and societies links. So it's called just organized like weekly, queer Hangouts and, like monthly, every two months, like have parties and stuff. It's cool. [00:09:07] Is it important to kind of have a sense of like community and belonging? [00:09:11] Definitely. [00:09:13] Because I think [00:09:16] especially if you come from like a kind of conservative, not very queer friendly community, you're automatically kind of reluctant when you go to a new place like you. You're not sure who's safe to talk to, who's going to be cool with it, who's going to be a bit of a deck. So it's nice, like having a weekly thing when I don't have to explain myself. I don't have to like worry about someone saying something really annoying. [00:09:43] I think it keeps me sane. [00:09:47] And are you saying like Facebook and social media playing a part in helping youth and like connecting, finding information building communities? [00:09:57] Yeah, definitely. Like there seems to be a lot of Facebook groups cropping up like even from Invercargill is a few. I mean, they're really small. But [00:10:07] obviously, it's important to the people here because they feel so isolated. [00:10:12] And I know, [00:10:14] like the Geneva queer pages that I'm a member of You see, like all these silent little additions, don't go to anything, you know, don't say anything on any posts, but it obviously means a lot to them being a part of it in some way. [00:10:28] And how do you feel about the way that Griffin is ended? And the media [00:10:34] kind of frustrating is not really enough representation. I think, like we need to see queer characters. It's always like, middle class white gay now. Never that many queer female characters in this it's like a raging stumped, or like a big scandal. You know, and then, if it's like a queer female who's interested in guys as well, [00:10:59] I often say like, Oh, she's straight again. Now. [00:11:02] It's like, well, you kind of erasing her home podcaster [00:11:07] Have you seen any characters or storylines that you can relate to? [00:11:10] I'm [00:11:14] like oranges, a new black. [00:11:16] That was refreshing because they don't really sensationalize the queer [00:11:21] characters, but [00:11:23] I don't know they still deal with it the same time that makes sense. [00:11:28] Do you see lots of stereotyping of characters in the movie? [00:11:33] Yes, my god. Yes. Everyone is just a caricature through the media drives me insane. Like, especially talking to some of my straight friends who haven't had much to do with queer people, when they tell me what they think gay people like, it's always just like, a stereotype. Like, how many times have I heard someone say that all gay guys are fabulous. And like a few minutes, and super fashionable? And it's not the case at all. And then I think that all [00:12:07] these fans really from pain, [00:12:09] masculine, tough. [00:12:14] And have you been involved? battle followed kind of any of the [00:12:19] politics anime? [00:12:21] You've been involved in any activism? [00:12:23] I'm [00:12:26] not like, [00:12:29] active at all, I'd say but I don't we definitely had like a celebration for the marriage equality thing here. Through like, the queer groups here, we all kind of banded together and had a big, drunk celebration. [00:12:46] How did you feel about rebel passing? [00:12:48] I'm pretty good actually came at a really good time for me, because it was like when my parents were at a really crucial time of dealing with it. And when I visited time, I'd say the MC secret watching it on the news. And I think that was really good for like a government to take a stand and say that, you know, [00:13:07] it's not [00:13:09] wrong. [00:13:11] people deserve basic rights. Everything is equal. That's good. [00:13:17] What do you think are some of the issues that we're still currently still facing here? [00:13:23] I don't think that there's enough role models for queer people. I mean, in my hometown, [00:13:29] like, the queer people, I did hear that we usually like to [00:13:37] be mean, but there were usually like kind of losers that, like your life was a mess. just messing things up, left and right. And they weren't going to like, [00:13:49] be very happy. You saw them like, this horrible little spiral. [00:13:56] Yeah, I think definitely more almost like, I don't know, if you ask like any queer person, if they could even less like teen strong role models that you'd be struggling [00:14:10] with? Do you hope that we might be in like 10 years time? [00:14:16] In 10 years time, I hope that it's not like a huge deal to be queer. Like, I would hope that it would be show enough that people don't even feel the need to comment on it. [00:14:31] I'm just sick of being introduced to people like she's gay. [00:14:36] Definitely don't go like this is my friend. Shes black. [00:14:40] Just as frustrating. [00:14:43] And yeah, I hope that there will be more accurate portrayals of queer people in the media, and more queer characters on [00:14:51] TV, [00:14:52] movies, and more role models. [00:14:56] As a very linear models, we [00:15:00] last year, the law department at Otago brought gay judge to visit which is pretty cool. Because I don't know especially like going into professional area, you don't hear many queer people. I mean, obviously, there's probably like, billions of queer Wiles. But I just didn't really think about it. Like when I went to a CV workshop, they told me to keep my CV, very conservative, and aim for like a conservative audience. So it was nice to meet like a queer judge who talked about his experience, like because he's pretty obviously [00:15:37] judges, old. But he said how he had to keep positive [00:15:42] for a long time. But now that he's out [00:15:46] in, I don't know, it was just nice hearing about queer [00:15:49] people in the profession and going into [00:15:52] what I hopes for your future. [00:15:57] Get an awesome life. Get an awesome job, kids. [00:16:02] thought much about how you go about having kids? [00:16:11] I don't know. I guess I'm only like, 22, I haven't really sussed out the details in my mind. [00:16:18] And if you could give a message to like young people struggling with their sexuality, and kind of for all these Zealand, what would it be? [00:16:29] That is probably a heap of other queer people around you, but they are not open about it. [00:16:41] I know that for me, I felt like I was the only one. But now that a lot of time has passed, I can say that I was actually surrounded by a lot of other queer people. And a lot of people that I thought wouldn't be so supportive turned out to be like the most supportive friends of head about it. [00:16:59] And I don't know if it's like, [00:17:02] things are tough. You're always going to hear from like, the queer community, it gets better. She's the most frustrating thing to hear at the time, because it's such a cliche now, but it actually does. What do [00:17:13] you think you would have? What might have helped you with that? That time and age living with your parents and [00:17:24] it would have helped me if I felt safer to branch out to people around me. Because I was so afraid of like talking to people. I didn't know who would be okay with that. Who wouldn't? [00:17:35] Finish off What's your favorite thing about being a Christian Christian? [00:17:40] Um, [00:17:43] I don't I just love like all of the queer people that I've met, like through the community. It's a lot of fun. And it's nice just being able to talk to people around me who share the same experiences. It's kind of nice being like unique in some way.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.