Kerry - South

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[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by pride enza.com with their support from the rule foundation. [00:00:07] And how do you describe your identity [00:00:13] a sexual aromatic and he also [00:00:18] jona talk a bit about what some of those all of those words mean to [00:00:23] a sexual in a romantic mean that I don't experience sexual romantic direction to other people respectively [00:00:32] a gender means [00:00:36] I don't really feel that the concept of Tinder applies to me as a useful way for me to describe myself or how I interact with other people. And I would prefer not to be a factor in how other people react to me and interact with me. [00:00:57] And how did you come to [00:01:03] community life I think [00:01:07] I can figure it out. I was there's something going on with a stuff. [00:01:15] Who knows, but [00:01:18] 15 or 16? After [00:01:22] several interestingly, failed relationships. [00:01:26] Look, something's going on, instead of making up all these crazy long words, ways to sort of struggling to explain it to people, and then a friend of mine just mentioned that offhand that one of their friends was a sexual was going googled it that's, that's nice, exist. [00:01:50] And then [00:01:52] the agenda stuff kind of came about as a result of that, like, always assumed that straight, just because I didn't really have any compelling evidence to the contrary lead and want to, I want to say it was women, so therefore, must be straight. I hadn't really thought that hard about the fact that I didn't actually want to have some guys either. And then, yeah, once I kind of realized that, that was what I'd been doing. I started kind of wondering if I was doing the same thing with Jane Doe, I, you know, I didn't feel like a guy. So, yeah, and really considered that might not actually be female, either. Figure that out, which was good started identifying as non binary, publicly in first year of university. [00:02:53] aromatic has kind of been [00:03:00] journey, I feel like the relationships I have and seek out [00:03:12] tired enough to was, like, romantically coded for that to be a useful way of describing them, like starting off describing, like, you know, this is a romantic relationship, but tends to take more time than this is not a romantic relationship. But I don't really identify with, you know, conventional narratives of romance and like, sort of one on one relationships and pair bonding, and not something I've ever really been interested in. [00:03:46] And have you found any other kind of entertainment or New Zealand that you can relate to? [00:03:53] Yeah, I'm [00:03:56] Yeah, and it's not huge numbers of a sexual around. But I've found quite a few Actually, I tend to meet them through completely non queer related stuff, which is quite interesting. I think I've met one other a spectrum person throat explicitly queer of it at about four or five through like, poetry and film clubs and stuff, which is cope. [00:04:28] One of my flatmates is also a sexual and a gender, which is quite nice, we can [00:04:34] complain about a Ronettes. [00:04:37] I think I'm gonna have kind of a sense of community belonging to that. Because now I have the people, [00:04:43] it's important to have a sense of definitely important to have a sense of community, I feel like [00:04:51] the [00:04:54] needs for community are largely filled by the queer community. [00:05:02] queer community in the sense of [00:05:05] actually diverse and representative of all the spectrums rather than satisfy gay boys. But [00:05:14] yeah, I don't really [00:05:17] feel the need for specifically I sexual community, for example. [00:05:22] That sort of just nice to know that. [00:05:25] But yeah, the queer community is a good place to be. Do you [00:05:31] feel like the community as an inclusive and encompassing [00:05:36] canoe is very, very fragmented, intimate? And I think in most places, I'm bits of it? [00:05:43] Definitely. [00:05:46] Have you been involved in it and events on it? Yeah, [00:05:52] I'm a an intern of the United secret Support Center. So that means I'm involved in [00:06:00] sort of running staff trainings and peer support and like putting in a lot of the behind the scenes work and all the events that the center runs, which is nice. On the unit here Committee, which is like the queer social club, the university so it's mostly like parties and movie nights and stuff, but it's Yeah, it's still a lot of fun as important have you know that as well as the more pastoral support side of things? [00:06:35] Yeah, there's the two main ones. [00:06:39] Until you experienced much [00:06:44] transphobia [00:06:46] from [00:06:48] friends, family people. [00:06:55] I got [00:06:58] quite the ship, Moon quit and you sitting. But yeah, the dude that came from, so I was lesbian. So I don't know if that actually counts. But [00:07:12] yeah. And then [00:07:15] I was in a hold of residence first year, which was [00:07:20] kind of [00:07:23] there was never anything directed towards me. But just the general environment was very unwelcoming. So you know, just like that kind of high school, casual use of slows and stuff, those, it's pretty gross, and maybe quite uncomfortable. But [00:07:43] since leaving there, [00:07:47] I found most people tend to be way better than you think they're going to be once you explain it. There's a few kind of doesn't exist. Rubbish. People have way more trouble with agenda stuff. I find. Like, a possibly just because it's more visible. Like, you know, you know, can I get Yoda on the street for being as people can often tell if you're presenting very sort of gender non conforming Lee which hasn't happened too much recently. But I'm first and second year. Just because of the parts of like the stream area I had to walk through to get home. Yesterday, Yoda, and it's like the groups of diapers drinking on their lawns and late afternoon. Let's throw bottles and shit which isn't. Isn't brilliant. [00:08:49] And then I got grabbed once. [00:08:54] Cuz, yeah, there you [00:08:58] go. Just didn't answer. And so they came over and grabbed me until I talked to them. Which was a fun. Yeah, [00:09:08] it hasn't been. It hasn't been that bad. My family. My brother is cool with it. But he's supremely chill, and pretty cool with everything. It is my fear. It's a few months ago. And I honestly can't quite tell how they told me because they don't like to talk about so very much. Like my dad just kind of went real quiet and hasn't mentioned it. Since I talked to him. And I'm not super keen to restart that conversation. [00:09:45] My mother [00:09:48] I don't think she got it. But then she. I told her I was [00:09:53] trying to chase agenda marker on the passport. She said crying. [00:09:59] Then, couple weeks later, she just out of the blue, like save enough money to cover the passport change face. [00:10:08] Like, she's not the kind of person who would ever acknowledge like, Hey, that was like that. Sorry, I did that. But I think that's what she was going for. So yeah, I think it's just kind of a matter of thinking about it. We will outside the realm of experience. [00:10:29] And how does it fair to kind of constantly to be like explaining educating people about [00:10:37] so shit. [00:10:41] This is there are definitely [00:10:45] benefits I think to flying under the radar in terms of you don't get sort of so much explicit. [00:10:55] Bio spirit you suppose but [00:10:59] yeah, just at least if you say you gay people know me. Like, [00:11:06] as kind of I don't. [00:11:10] I don't feel comfortable. being raised as straight or says that makes me really uneasy. But it's just cut, it's not. So you can like drop into conversation, you need to be prepared for like a half hour, one on one. With everyone he talks his [00:11:30] take away longer than it should. So it was frustrating. Well, that is the best city girl crush rich and Liam in France for a little while, [00:11:42] and mostly Christchurch. And there was a much difference between how [00:11:48] people are treated between questions. [00:11:51] Oh, [00:11:57] didn't start [00:12:01] started as queer until quiet light in high school. And then I moved down here soon as I finished. So I'm sure that will have an influence on it. But [00:12:15] I feel like a lot of it. It's actually what kind of [00:12:19] bits of town you're moving around in like, Indonesian. But I live in the student area. And then you have the uni and town and it's all kind of very close together and very populated. [00:12:35] And I'd are really [00:12:39] I knew you know, I've never felt particularly unsafe, but you know, you get people yelling at you, but it's just drunk people being idiots. Like most of the instances of violence and deleted have been more like out in suburbia. Which is not somewhere ever really go and delete. Because I don't need that Everything I need is in this quick, small radius. I don't know. I mean, I guess cuz it crashed it shows at school. There's a lot of, you know, the kind of high school kids being big decks and stuff, which I'm sure goes on here. But I'm not in school. Yeah, it's quite difficult to compare that university to high school, I think. [00:13:30] And DC, Facebook and social media playing apart and the way that you will ever connect and [00:13:41] find information. [00:13:42] Yes, community, like most of [00:13:47] most of our events are organized primarily through Facebook, just because easier. And the fact that you can do kind of public events and stuff makes it easier to reach people who might not necessarily I feel like the head like an end to the community, which is quite cool. It's something we're definitely working on. [00:14:08] And then [00:14:11] kind of the prevalence of [00:14:14] blogging and sharing sites [00:14:18] is definitely making a huge difference in terms of education. I think that [00:14:23] just because what you're able to access is not [00:14:29] explicitly education material, like it's not, because someone's sat down to teach you about a thing. It's like you can actually come like five people talking about just about their experiences and about their own lives. Which is, in terms of actually kind of understanding people rather than the effects of them. There's a lot more helpful, I think. [00:14:54] What do you think are some of the biggest issues facing current trends in New Zealand? [00:15:02] I think just kind of casual, [00:15:06] casual homophobia and queer phobia, and like, erasure of smaller identities, but just that kind of constant low level stuff is still a huge deal. It just wears you down so much. And it would be really nice if that stopped. [00:15:32] Well, I mean, they're Asia. You don't didn't see queer people portrayed in media or anything unless it's for a narrative purpose. Like using sexuality as plot device rather than something that just you know, people just have. Yeah, especially. And even even though it's generally gay men, sometimes lesbians if you're lucky. [00:16:01] I don't think I can think of any [00:16:06] ice characters. This was this. Sheldon first Not exactly. It's like a shining example of healthy ice representation. [00:16:18] What is better [00:16:19] as just the kind of [00:16:24] RNSHL is a lot of charts about [00:16:29] you know, being [00:16:32] was a really strong kind of socially enforced correlation between a sexuality and forms of autism, which is shit for books. I said, autistic people. This is not true. Like [00:16:48] you know, that's not that's not helping either community. [00:16:54] And [00:16:56] yeah, the kind of like, no social skills required elusive. Hyper genius, though. [00:17:04] It's big, scary. And yeah, most of storage, [00:17:07] when it is in the media is really, [00:17:09] yes. Very scary. And you get that with a lot of other stuff as well. [00:17:15] It's just yeah, it's just frustrating. But [00:17:18] you know, you can have [00:17:21] every piece of media you can see what's suffocating, Nolan, like me, you're my friend seems to exist in these worlds. Have you [00:17:31] seen any anything's in the media with a second clip. [00:17:39] There are definitely some out there. [00:17:42] This kind of the whole TV revolution thing that's happening at the moment has been really, really brilliant for it, because it's finally beginning to democratize media creation in a way that hasn't happened for like 50 years, which is incredibly exciting. And it means that you're getting, you know, people who have less sort of political power and institutional power, in sort of the same as immediate creation, being able to tell their own stories. And so you're getting things you know, like oranges, new black and black and House of Cards, and all those kind of like little little things that people are finally able to make that wouldn't have been able to be made even like five or 10 years ago. It's incredibly exciting. I feel like [00:18:39] the same thing hasn't happened with film, just because, [00:18:47] like the way [00:18:50] the way the internet sort of revolution thing has happened is really only affecting TV. And that way at the moment. And so film still controlled by the same people and the same kinds of people that it has been for decades. And so nothing's changing. And also, because that's all it is available. People still go, people still consume their media. And that then means that those people can point and be like, Look, people are still consuming the media, we don't need to change anything. which is unfortunate. And I think anything's going to change about that. With any speed unless something similar happens to the film industry to kind of radically restructure where the power of creation lies, give more power back to the consumer. I'm not sure if this thing was going to happen overnight. [00:19:51] But he said that they let him in with the relationship, media and creation. [00:20:00] I'd like to think we've gotten a bit better at general health care. That would be nice. [00:20:10] My, [00:20:13] my flatmate has been in and out of emergency psych and psych wards for the last few weeks, and just how unbelievably difficult it is to get people to actually use non binary pronouns. And just, especially when it's a side issue, as you're making this worse, yeah, actively making this worse, as is very frustrating. [00:20:48] But it'd be nice to, for that to kind of not be an issue and [00:20:54] so is especially trans identities, but other currencies as well still tend to get resolved in a way that impedes treatment of other issues is not even directly queer related stuff like your trans health care and sexual health and stuff like that, which obviously needs more work. But just the way quaintness gets like tangled in and pathologist with other stuff. [00:21:22] Like they ended up [00:21:26] speaking to a psychiatrist about the stuff that was going on. And then when they were discussing medication mentioned that they were planning to go on woman's, just because I wanted to kind of cover all their bases in terms of, you know, medicine interactions and stuff, so cautiously seized on this, is it you know, a huge part of the problem is that no, they can be, they should be trans without that being part of this, like issues. And yeah, I was refused treatment for depression by one counselor, because I refuse to also attempt to solve my sexual problem. Which was a bit rubbish. And yeah, just stuff like that, like the pathology ization of queer identities would be nice to see that change. And I think it's just, it's just a education thing. But I think for that to change, education needs to target medical schools. Like, it just seems like a huge waste, that we're not doing that I've got sort of the entire population of medical practitioners Buffalo, me through two centers in the country, like, this is a perfect opportunity. [00:22:45] So hopefully, that'll be something that could happen. That would be nice. [00:22:50] The engagement to have kind of politics and New Zealand? [00:22:57] Hopefully not as much as I feel like I should. [00:23:00] Yeah, I mean, I'm 19. So I haven't had to vote yet. But I'm going to do research and figure out what to do. It comes around. [00:23:11] Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of [00:23:15] involved in political stuff more on a [00:23:21] grassroots level kind of stuff. But University, University campaigns and is it supporting things like the queer Support Center, right crisis and stuff like that. [00:23:34] So actual, [00:23:37] active, he's active politics, like, [00:23:41] you know, sort of [00:23:45] working in politics, as opposed to [00:23:49] political activism is not something that interests me at all. [00:23:56] I admire people who can do it, not for me. [00:24:03] And he could give a message to again, [00:24:08] non binary people out there, what would it be? [00:24:13] You exist, it's real. [00:24:17] Trello to second guess yourself too much, I guess. [00:24:24] Finish up, what's your favorite thing about being again, [00:24:30] looking at me, like I have met, so many indescribably amazing people that I don't think I would have met otherwise. And [00:24:41] also, [00:24:43] being exposed to [00:24:47] things that make me a much better person, like the sort of, you know, sociological discourse and discussion of like how our world and our society works. It's not something I think it would have come across to anywhere near the same degree. And I'm, you know, I'm very glad I did, because I think it's made me better.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.