Nicolas - Q12

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride in [00:00:05] So tell me a little bit about yourself. [00:00:09] My name is net. I am Ababa. [00:00:14] I [00:00:17] know if you want to know anything [00:00:25] what's your interest? [00:00:27] And just like cars [00:00:32] movies [00:00:34] game? [00:00:40] I don't know. That's about it real. [00:00:41] So we're about so you were born here in Auckland. And so hang around. [00:00:48] Yeah. Now I moved to Sydney when I was five. So when I was 18 and then moved back here, [00:00:56] families. [00:00:59] So how do you 24 so what's your gender identity? Okay, is your sexuality identity? Male? Yeah. And your culture audience? [00:01:13] Yeah. So, [00:01:15] when did you realize that you are gay? [00:01:23] I suppose I had feelings when I was like, probably about 11 and intermediate. [00:01:29] But I didn't come out till I was 15. [00:01:35] So how to help? How did you realize? [00:01:40] I realize, you know, [00:01:44] I just realized that having sexual feelings towards the guys at my school and friends. [00:01:55] That was so scary experiment a little bit and realize that that was what I lived. Find girls attractive. Even a young age? Yeah, I've never found them at all. [00:02:08] So when you realize what was the first point set was like, Oh, my God. [00:02:16] What realized that I was gay. [00:02:25] I don't know. I just kind of just sort of heaven Lesbos. I used to work somewhere where one of the other workers it was a bit older than me was there. And used to like, sort of flourish and all that sort of thing. Like nothing seems to work. Just sort of, I suppose that was like a real awakening and [00:02:45] made me realize that I am gay. [00:02:48] open new doors to Yeah. [00:02:52] So how did you feel when you came to realize it? [00:03:00] realize those [00:03:03] realizing? [00:03:08] I really don't know. It's like a [00:03:11] maybe a bit confused, but [00:03:16] how about when you accept it? Accept it. [00:03:19] Yeah. I felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. And then everyone was like, Oh, really? Still you again? You're gonna come out. Great family at Nolan. So [00:03:33] did you feel that you had to keep it a secret or? [00:03:36] beforehand? Yeah. Um, [00:03:40] I guess I didn't really know how people would react. I hung out with a lot of really strange people that like, you know, your typical straight blokey blood type people and sag assess, and we know if they'd be accepting of it or not. [00:04:02] So did you feel that all your friends was gonna go against you? at all? [00:04:12] Yeah, sort of brown, quite a strong person. And so I just, you know, when I finally decided that it was the, you know, the time to tell people, you know, sort of just [00:04:22] came to the conclusion that I'll sort of know who my real friends are, and, and who they are. [00:04:30] So when you experimented, how old were you? When you first did it? [00:04:36] 1112. And I have whatever a memory of [00:04:43] kissing another guy in school when I was like, in primary school, and Australia. [00:04:49] Sucks. [00:04:54] I don't know mean. [00:04:55] was a friend of yours. [00:04:58] Yeah, I guess. [00:05:00] No, okay. Hey, here, boy. Oh, boy. [00:05:03] You [00:05:04] want? Yeah, it was more just like, just one of those things. That wasn't like a sexual thing. I don't think I knew at that age, you know, that I was actually interested in boys. It just sort of [00:05:16] happened. [00:05:19] Whoops. [00:05:21] So you're out of the closet, right? [00:05:24] Yeah. So I else at the moment? So Does everybody know? [00:05:29] Yeah, everybody knows, I'm not ashamed to tell people. You know, if I'm talking to my clients at work, I talk openly about gay issues, myself and gay partners that have had [00:05:47] to get all gapingvoid your work? [00:05:49] Yes. A lot of a lot of closeted bums and a lot of from the ones that just come up to you suffering if you randomly. [00:06:00] I have a few of them. Only the older guys, it's a little bit scary. [00:06:07] So when you first came out, was it to parents or friends? [00:06:13] I actually discussed with one of the guys that I used to work with who was actually straight. And he controlled me there, you know, it's the right thing to do to come out and everything. So you kind of prepared me. And yeah, I came out properly, first of all to my mom, because I thought that, you know, she has the right to know, before I start telling friends and other family games. [00:06:41] It was a genuine reaction from people. [00:06:44] Oh, that's actually pretty cool that the like, when I told my mom was crying, and I told her that maybe she needs to sit down. And she was busy cooking and just sit down just, you know, what is it? What do you want? And [00:07:02] and [00:07:04] I said, you know, my mom doesn't tell you. I'm gay? And she said, Really? Is that you gotta tell me a CD. Yes, yes. So you can tell me on drugs or something. So she was pretty cool. The other physical of it. And I, to be honest, haven't lost any friends at all from coming out. [00:07:23] Also good reaction from mother for someone to say, Oh, [00:07:30] yeah, she's pretty cool. She's open minded. That's [00:07:35] the main thing. That's good. [00:07:39] So the general reaction that people usually get when they come Alec. [00:07:48] So have a so what about other people apart from your friends and your mother's mother [00:07:55] told you you will see reactions. [00:08:02] The Omen good. I have. Like I said, I haven't had a really a bad experience with it. And I haven't lost any friends or anything from being gay or coming out. [00:08:17] I guess I've gained more friends. [00:08:21] How did you feel when you came out? [00:08:25] When I told my mom, I was really emotional, quite upset. And as I just wasn't really sure what her reaction would be, I didn't want to disappoint to a lot of our family is females. So is me. Myself and my older cousin, and granddad and uncle. So four of us are males and is about 16 females. So I guess I felt like [00:08:58] she was losing his son. [00:09:01] Cheese centric over [00:09:03] the years with grown together and continues to [00:09:10] talk about a homeowner, homeowner or family. [00:09:14] home I know family. [00:09:16] My family's crazy. [00:09:21] God, I can just imagine family for females. [00:09:26] You don't want to imagine? [00:09:31] What was the support that you get? [00:09:36] The support [00:09:39] was good. I everyone's been supportive. When I was younger, I got into drag. And people, you know, [00:09:51] like my grandparents used to be quite supportive. [00:09:57] When I was young, so I wasn't really sure. [00:10:01] Yeah, you know, all about all about all that sort of thing. I was only like 16 or 17. And my grandma grandparents used to treat me like shopping for [00:10:12] clothes and makeup and fake eyelashes and [00:10:18] you know, stilettos and things like that. So I suppose you know, that's quite supportive. Everything that's not like, everybody has parents or grandparents or other family members that do that sort of thing. [00:10:31] What was the age? What was your age when you came out to your mother? [00:10:35] 15 [00:10:36] Yeah, it's a very young age. [00:10:41] I think [00:10:41] it's a good age. And I talked to people online or in person. And, you know, like, they just come out or being guys and you think to them, and they're like 2122. And to me that it's like seems like quite a late age to come out. [00:11:00] These days. Anyway, it's quite a lot of sitting like this the funder, there's a lot more younger gay people around. And then they used to be anyway, I think just [00:11:10] sort of [00:11:12] it seems to be a bit more accepted. [00:11:15] Not fully, but a bit more. [00:11:18] So you've seen relationships before? Yes. [00:11:23] So has you coming out perfect. Is your relationship better? [00:11:28] What do you mean? Well, there's some people about some people aren't matching out here. Some people are and some people well, sometimes you being out can actually affect your relationship has that really affect your relationships? [00:11:46] I got really got with people that are open about being gay and accepting of themselves. I just think that it's [00:11:58] the chakras and the iron, that's too too much work to be with someone who's closeted, or not fully [00:12:07] open to the sexuality. So I wouldn't really put myself in the situation of dating someone. [00:12:13] Especially long term who's not comfortable with themselves. [00:12:20] Okay, so how do you meet other people? [00:12:24] I meet people through my work. I mean, people online through Facebook Grindr, dating, man [00:12:38] the clubs to other friends [00:12:42] is a pretty as [00:12:45] social Queen and you're not a queen. [00:12:50] So five words for myself. [00:12:54] So very social. [00:12:56] Yeah, I'm quite social. And I'm a little bit shy at first but as I said a warm up quite sort of chatty and easy to get on with and introduce myself to other people and everything so I find it easy to make sense. [00:13:12] So what's your definition and virginity [00:13:17] my definition and gentlemen [00:13:19] because all faithful barf religiously and non almost spiritually on on that believe and different ways of virginity. Some people believe that which energy is if you do any sexual sexual thing at all you losers or if you have been unsure of six your losers and some people think you can get it back in the way. [00:13:45] So what's your definition of virginity? [00:13:52] Like with being gay, you know, I obviously like anyway. [00:14:02] Alright. [00:14:20] Um, so have you ever experienced so received any abusive behavior or abuse because of your sexuality or gender identity? [00:14:29] You mean like a vision? [00:14:30] Yeah. [00:14:32] Not nothing at all. No, I'm quite a strong person. You know, [00:14:39] someone's gonna dish it out or disobey. I'm, um, [00:14:46] yeah, I've always been like quite as that skin person. I don't really [00:14:53] get upset easy. You know, people were saying things are being disrupted disrespectful in any way. I don't get upset when I feel depressed or anything like that. You know? [00:15:09] It doesn't Yeah, I'm, I'm quite a strong, strong willed person and strong person in general. [00:15:17] Okay, so that's the end of the interview. see any other comments or any other questions you want to want me to ask? [00:15:26] If you want to ask anything that you can. [00:15:29] Okay, thank you for the interview. [00:15:31] Thank you.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.