Dougal - Q12

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride in z.com. [00:00:04] Hello, what's your name? Google. Okay, can you tell us about yourself? [00:00:12] I'm 24. [00:00:15] I live in Oakland. [00:00:19] And just interest, interest, music, [00:00:23] visual [00:00:27] orientation, orientation, [00:00:31] occupation, occupation. And I suppose I'm a sales consultant, and cosmetics. [00:00:37] So you're originally not from welcome [00:00:40] norm from born into for the rest of my life. [00:00:45] And you've lived in all these different areas kind of place thing. [00:00:50] Yes, and Queenstown. [00:00:53] So watch other areas that you've lived on. [00:00:55] That's it. [00:00:57] So I just the South Island mainland into Oakland. Yeah. So there's a big, big culture shock for you. [00:01:03] Not really, initially, it was like, Christ, the space is huge. But no, no, it's not really spring quite natural. [00:01:14] So your howdy [00:01:16] 24. [00:01:20] What's your gender identity? [00:01:22] Now? Your culture and usually European, [00:01:28] and your sexuality? Kick kicking guy. Vicki. [00:01:36] When did you realize [00:01:41] I suppose [00:01:41] about the age of living? [00:01:46] Yeah. [00:01:48] How did you realize [00:01:52] I was sleeping with my best friend. [00:02:00] I'm guessing is like he had a sleepover or something like that? Yes. And she had some sort of direction and thought this [00:02:09] wasn't so much that I wasn't attracted to girls a certain two boys. sermon down, unfortunately, at the time. [00:02:18] So was it just one free indoor [00:02:21] had [00:02:22] other sexual attractions here at other friends as well? [00:02:27] Not so friends, but just guys. Just getting off my friend at the time. [00:02:32] They just went around like, Oh, he's called show [00:02:34] called thing I did at the age of 13. Yes, but well don't necessarily always think like that. Yeah. [00:02:41] living [00:02:43] living in Scotland. [00:02:44] I haven't seen you drinking a few wines. You forget things. Yes. [00:02:48] So how did you feel when you realize at the time? [00:02:53] Not good. It was not? Okay. Well, this has gone down. But I at the time, I really wanted children at a normal life, you know, so [00:03:05] it's [00:03:07] still good to go through the whole normal [00:03:10] thing. And, yeah, that's the plan at the time. [00:03:15] So it was like someone like, Oh, this is you. So you will cascade and why wouldn't you? Yeah, I was. [00:03:23] I like to know, my family's gonna think the idea was just too much of time. [00:03:31] So we think hanging in a way that she couldn't have children. And when you're when you had these feelings of guys, [00:03:38] yes. Right. At that time. I didn't know any other options. Really? [00:03:43] back then. Yes. So did you feel that he had to keep this secret from your body? Absolutely. Strictly secret? [00:03:52] Yeah. But everyone? [00:04:00] Kelly Boise [00:04:02] State for? [00:04:04] I'm just [00:04:08] sort of been experimenting from about the age of four, with the different friends. But [00:04:15] that sort of petered out as far as about the age of nine. And then as a living. I was experimenting with my friend at the time, and [00:04:25] he was the only one until I came at it. But I was only in a couple of years with him. [00:04:31] So it was a regular thing with him. [00:04:34] Yeah. [00:04:36] Did he turned out gay as well? Or? Yes. So it wasn't just one random stage in his life. [00:04:44] No, he's not married. [00:04:48] Married to a guy in [00:04:49] the UK. [00:04:51] Gay civil union. [00:04:55] I think it's over union. Yeah. Someone union mike mike. Kiwis here. Okay. So you're out of the closet now. Right? Yes. So how did you come out the closet. [00:05:09] I told my best friend Nikki the first year on the job, which is when I was 18 while cooking green Thai curry. [00:05:19] And my flat to Scott. And I told her and she cried and she went to the bathroom. [00:05:27] Because she wanted to date you [00:05:30] know, it's because she's always like, are you getting like, No, no, I just basically because I lived here for quite a while. [00:05:40] So you didn't feel free at the time. So I [00:05:43] know when I was at high school. I didn't feel that was an appropriate [00:05:47] environment for coming out here. [00:05:49] So she was hurt that you didn't tell me straight away? [00:05:53] Yeah. [00:05:56] Yes. So how about like your peers? [00:06:05] I never really told either of them, so to speak. [00:06:11] I [00:06:12] mom found out when I was about 19 maybe because I was working with uni Q and A tiger and I was organizing this event. So I had all these event posters up on my wall like Queer as Tea Party and [00:06:28] and I brought my flatmate home for Christmas, Richard from [00:06:35] counseling with him, David Mathis back and I was 18. And I brought him home for Christmas. And I think the family noticed that we were a bit closer than maybe we should be, you know, so yeah, Minecraft. And so while I was away in Auckland, with Richard on holiday, she was going from my room and talking to my friend Nikki and going What's going on? And yeah, so that's how she found out. [00:06:57] So was your time you boyfriend. [00:07:03] He was from Oakland. He moved down to Nathan. He was friends with mutual friend of ours. It was living in the flat. And that's how I met him. And yeah, so it wasn't me my boyfriend. [00:07:16] I don't know what it was. But [00:07:18] that's a little bit of a fringe benefits. And away, [00:07:21] wow, there was no benefits. And so we stopped living together. So we were sort of [00:07:25] emotionally involved for a year. And then after [00:07:30] I moved out of flat and went to another black tea followed me for a little bit in was living with me for a while and then yeah, got around once again. That was that. [00:07:42] He parted ways. [00:07:43] Well, kind of we still remain friends for a while. And I moved up to Oakland, Oakland and I moved back up here a while afterwards, and now he's living with his partner in Australia. [00:07:54] So what's the main reactions you've gotten when you came out? [00:08:01] So pretty positive, really? [00:08:05] I mean, I didn't I didn't tell dad that I was gay. But I think mom does and it was sort of understood that I was but we never really talked about it and and it was fine. [00:08:17] Like I was in the newspaper and drag down the US that was pretty [00:08:22] self explanatory. Really. So yeah. [00:08:25] Hey, parents, I'm gay. [00:08:30] Was your dragon a divine, the divine? So I do go on a road. Belton. Occasionally. [00:08:38] You see me at these events? [00:08:46] on these dates? [00:08:49] Sometimes, so how about your friends? Was the reactions from them? [00:08:53] At the time? [00:08:55] any harm? [00:08:56] Fine. Let's be friends again at the moment. [00:09:01] Yeah, no. problems. Really? [00:09:04] Nothing, you know. [00:09:09] Sorry. How do you feel about to revise reactions? [00:09:13] Good. [00:09:14] Really no problems I [00:09:15] have. How do you feel about when you came out? [00:09:20] That was going to be really well, I sort of went from pretend to be straight to like, full on being gay and extend that was quite a unique it was over. [00:09:29] So did you ever gotten a new support? [00:09:32] Yes, yes. [00:09:36] You more specific? [00:09:38] My friend Nikki was really supportive. Yeah, after crying in the bathroom, she was [00:09:44] just crying. She was like, she was crying. [00:09:47] She's like, you use your God as Christ. Yeah. Anyway. So [00:09:52] in a relationship started with Unity. [00:09:54] Yes, which interrupt me being on the click different sort of and managing body and running leaving sector for me as well. [00:10:03] So having fun there. [00:10:05] So how about any other organization? [00:10:11] Laughter I ran a couple of years, because it's not gay by Indonesian. So we did like a gay club night called funk, once a month, which was part of the interview. But if the whole community was obviously invited, and then I got a job with the University Students Association, working as the queer, [00:10:39] like queer youth community liaison officer, I think was the title was some big long title, but I was working with kids and schools coming up. So I was contracted by the university to go around the schools provide support and information staff and students. And I worked along with a lot of community organizations as well, better just being a liaison officer between things like like crisis and all sorts of stuff. So did you [00:11:01] get to do any training? [00:11:03] Um, not really. I did pay [00:11:11] for mediation. That's the one. [00:11:14] I did. Yes. I did like a paid mediation course. And [00:11:18] so if any relationship before right, [00:11:22] typically, [00:11:24] relationship, [00:11:26] boyfriend boyfriend? [00:11:28] Not really. No, not really. No. Well, I guess I went out with guy last year for [00:11:33] about [00:11:34] two months, but I wouldn't really count that as a relationship really sort of quite short lived one. [00:11:40] I wouldn't. Yeah, [00:11:41] I wouldn't really count it to be honest. [00:11:43] was a bit messy. [00:11:44] No. As this more didn't, there was no real mutual anything the end of the day, so [00:11:54] I spark No. [00:11:58] has to coming out expected at all, or you when you realize is that ever affected your relationships? [00:12:06] I don't think so. No. [00:12:09] No. [00:12:11] How about? Has any of the reactions from your friends and family affected your relationships? [00:12:17] No, it must be pretty supportive. That's good. [00:12:22] How do you meet other people? I meet other people. Yeah. [00:12:27] Talking about social engineering. [00:12:29] Yeah. So I have I like Facebook. [00:12:33] Yeah. And remit that when people are faced with [00:12:38] the grind. [00:12:39] no different. nz d? Yeah, back in the day. I think I've made it [00:12:47] entertaining, but generally the people I knew first anyway, but not really [00:12:51] at all. And men. [00:12:54] Nowadays, but moving on it, whatever it is. [00:12:57] That's not [00:13:03] this is a big question. What is your definition of virginity? [00:13:10] Not [00:13:13] just haven't had sex before. Yes, sir. [00:13:18] penetrative sex or what have you about all the above? Any touching context? Yes. Have you received any abusive behavior because your sexuality before? [00:13:32] didn't really know? [00:13:35] And the answer that comes to mind was walking through that Wellington once I got lost and I was trying to find a way to a training I mean for work and so through a pump out about 1 million car a, but that was about it. That enough that's history, gender, or sexuality purely based, but that probably I think it probably wasn't the time. [00:13:54] And I think there's checking it randomly. [00:14:02] So yeah, so [00:14:05] being out and the need and and being out and open. Is that a bit different? [00:14:11] Do you feel different spring out into different places? [00:14:15] Yes, I've actually stayed in recently. And I did a direct shut down the went out one night and drag because my friend made me and went to about I spread it all the time. And on my way out of being pretty not really inside just in general, there's a whole group of us that knows anyone and drag on the way out. The security guard on the White House whispered to me in my ear, and stay out as I was leaving. That's it. Well, that was interesting. So yes, Sweden is quite conservative and actually wants when I was in my office down there and drag after during the show. Everything's on site at university office and the department everything and yet some people try to give the opposite to Glass Door of its nose and they're like typing away printing out something. So yes, [00:15:02] they do see that sort of thing and doing this the smart except it [00:15:06] was a bit rough down there [00:15:08] isn't no like people are really, really nice, but some people just don't understand. So like. Yeah, [00:15:14] do you feel that they're not educated? Or [00:15:17] Yeah, I think some nice thing about Oakland you see lots of stuff up here and people don't mean what happened okay road and dirty Robin Walker, the bank I wrote and directed years, and I've never had a problem whatsoever that you know, [00:15:28] me go down to a small face that never see that type of stuff. Yes, with [00:15:32] any we did a show in a tiny little farming community. But why outside of Christchurch, everyone was fantastic. Like I'm we did a full 45 minute drag show with three drag queens and it was great. So it just depends on the context. [00:15:45] Yes, ma'am. How about well, that's opinions definitely expected that causing [00:15:50] they did obviously extend your time, but um, yeah, for people who aren't into that sort of thing in small towns that can be the competition on times, set fire, there's a lack of education because they just they don't know any better and they don't understand it. So therefore, they get scared. And they tend to react violently. abusively. Do you [00:16:09] think that's dangerous? And why do you think it's dangerous for flamboyant gay or a drag queen walking through a small town? [00:16:22] It can be especially with for example, if you're in drag people you should know you're gay because it's very obvious statement, you know, so or if you're being overly as you said, fanboy into us. I think people can easily identify it and you're making the public point of it or people can probably identify you. Yes, I think it can be dangerous. [00:16:42] How about on k road? You think it's a little bit dangerous? [00:16:46] I don't think that's specifically a dangerous thing. Carrots is dangerous in general. [00:16:51] Yeah, I mean, it goes down but no, I don't think that's as bad on camera. [00:16:56] How about anywhere else and welcome to thing that's, you know, [00:17:00] I think opens pretty accepting. So you might give it a shot if you're doing done minicab. But [00:17:07] it was it knows what goes on. Its back Metropolitan up here. So people see a lot of different things with different cultures. And people are generally pretty open minded up here because a lot of stuff goes on. And [00:17:18] thank you for the interview. Cheers.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.