Joleen Mataele - Proud 2016

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[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by the Elgar Oceania rainbow human rights and health conference and pride nz.com. [00:00:10] Good afternoon, everyone. [00:00:13] I'm just going to give you a little bit of background about the total atheist Association. [00:00:22] The TLA was [00:00:24] established in 1992. When we first [00:00:29] it's a thought from when we first had the first HIV and AIDS person who is a very dear friend of mine, and also a member of our transgender community quality Association. And [00:00:48] when the family brought him back [00:00:52] from the states to die in Tama, I just so happened to be on the same plane. And I didn't even know that he was on the flight until we took off took off from from Hawaii. And my cousin was working for for Hawaiian Airlines came up to me and said, Joey, can you help me out and I said, This was 1987. Right. And you think that the United States already in knowledgeable HIV and all that, but now the workers of Hawaiian Airlines didn't want to serve him. Because he was they knew who he was at HIV. I mean, he was an AIDS person. Because of the medical it, he was transferred from one hospital to, to the other. But anyways, [00:01:42] we finally made it through from, from [00:01:49] Hawaii to after sitting there, because the whole trip was more like we cried, we talked about the past week, the things that we went through, because both of us sin. And in school, we used to be that we used to think that we were the best thing. You know, and, and [00:02:20] so, [00:02:23] two months before that, before we came, when I got to the States, he called, he called me to Los Angeles, for me to come and see him, come and visit him and he'll pay for me to come as a TV show. So the whole week that I was there, he was trying to open up to me to tell me that he's got AIDS that he was dying, he's on that stage. But he couldn't have the guts to tell me. So even I even left. So by the time I got that we got to to Hawaii when we finally came on the flight. I was so angry, I was more angry at him for not telling me the truth. And I totally forgot that he was a nice person. I think that the love between friends was more stronger than thinking of the disease of epidemic. And [00:03:24] but what caught me later when we arrived in Tama [00:03:30] the [00:03:32] hospital was already there, ambulance and everything. And when we got off the flight, you thought that you see Moonwalkers they were all covered up from top to bottom. That's it, the only thing you see is this. [00:03:47] And [00:03:50] what's this? What's going on? And somebody said, oh, they're here for for Edward. [00:03:58] So [00:04:01] I left but [00:04:04] after Edward died, they found out that I was with him on the flight. Then they came in, harassed me, the Ministry of Health or asked me to come and have HIV testing, because I was sitting next to him. Because the pilot said, when I got on the flight, when I came in, sat with him, I told the father to go and sit on the side, and let me sit with him rectify the wrist. Because I know the family very well. And he vomited and everything during the flight, you know, and but I wasn't, I wasn't thinking about it, I was more worried about what's going on. So anyways, when they finally [00:04:54] got me to come and have my blood test, [00:04:58] that's when I had the flu. [00:05:01] Whether this is right or not. So here I am 24 hours googling what's because I don't know what I would I really knew what I was doing. You know, and so, after I got tested, I I was negative. And then from 1987 to 1992, for doctors started, got together and decided to see what they can do for our community to educate them on health, on HIV, how to protect themselves, because, of course condom was there, but nobody knew about I mean, I mean, they knew what was it for but we couldn't be bothered using it, you know. And then in 1902 when we started the total atheist Association, we started with five members and former associate Tom I ladies Association. Yes, it should be ton of family. But of course in Tama, everything is for this for that for this for that. But you know, it pleases for Molly, Molly and [00:06:25] feta is [00:06:29] like a proper way of saying thank you to elderly people. And when you're addressing formal, you know, so everything in time is backpack backpack backpack. So instead of using that we set off, because the first correspondence that we did with trying to get funded, when first started was someone to runs it, what does the family family do? Okay, this is enough already, I think we'll take that aka Pat, and just use it because it sounds better. At the same time, we didn't really like the sound of the people calling us family D because it sounded like a like saying poster of faggot, or, you know, and, and just the way the expresses, you know, and the [00:07:24] lady part is a woman or like a lady or Yeah. [00:07:30] And so because the transgender community or the lady community were more visible, we decided to start off with that, with the ladies organizing a group together, so five of us got together and started the the teenagers Association, we got registered in the government have a constitution registered. And then the next move was trying to get someone in the hierarchy level to be our patron. So we approached Her Royal Highness The Princess Royal torment, and asked her because she was the patron for the tar Family Health Association or the term Family Planning Association. And [00:08:29] when we came in and asked her, she said, [00:08:33] Okay, I don't want to be your patron, because I'm already a patron of the total family planning, mother tongue Family Association. And [00:08:46] I think it's better that I get my daughter to be your patient. [00:08:51] So she picked up the phone, while we were sitting there, on and cold New Zealand, she was still in, but was still in dire. And Coulter and said, Joe is here with Bobby lower. Asking if you can be would you be the patron for the totally Jesus ascension. And this from the London princess who has been our patron up to today, for 24 years now. And a lot has achieved through I mean, cutting the pit of the barriers. And I mean, this, there's still a few things that needs to be done. You know, the problem with with with, with Tom is a total at his association is long has a long and complex history. You know, it's a history of survival. History that has been governed by the with diverse in contesting ways of understanding. [00:10:05] But [00:10:07] it's situated them outside the normal and I don't know, all the total in ways, you know, in the society, mainly because of their distinctive behaviors and perceived falling outside the tongue and waves. [00:10:23] And [00:10:26] some, somehow it needs to be [00:10:32] we recognize that through the positioning outside the normal life, I don't know how the time ways there is tended to see to proceed to LA and its people in a simplicity, simplistic way that that's treat them treat them marginal, marginal. [00:10:50] community, and [00:10:54] also modularize pre colonization, or did that happen to colonization? [00:11:03] After after, [00:11:06] which [00:11:09] gave, which Elizabeth? [00:11:15] presentation yesterday gave us an idea, you know, of that we need to go back to the roots to when Tom started before colonization, you know, because there was with the history of trauma, there was no labeling no barriers, no, everybody was treated the same. The only one that was different was make that that was the king. And there was always that the three standards of King noble and communists, you know, but yeah, yeah, but there was no difference between LGBT, everybody was the same hero. [00:11:58] And one thing I do, I noticed when I was when I was a kid, [00:12:05] growing up was my grandmother. [00:12:08] Go into the palace every weekend, [00:12:11] every single shift at the palace, because the king and the queen hotel and Chef, the crown prince had his own chef, The Princess and the rest of the road, children had their own chef, you know, and they were okay. No one was straight at all, you know, and, and some of them got married, but still gay. You know, they still had a little relationship here and there. But there was no talk, you know, or fuss about it, because of their status or gender. And growing up in a, I had a really weird way of growing up because I, because, well, my mother passed away when I was five months old. And I grew up in a couple that were both founders of the two biggest, strong churches in time, Mormon, and Catholic. And my grandmother was Catholic. And that's why I'm a Catholic. And my grandfather was a moment. And when I grew up with him, there was no conflict, or no fighting over any religion at all, you know, when it's when it was the moments celebration was going on, all of us will get ready go to the moments, when the Catholic celebration goes on the whole lot of the moment, children and grandchildren went to the Catholic, there was no fighting, no labeling, no, you know, over, over religion. So I grew up with that knowledge of peace, you know, within the family, and I had that foundation. My problems started. When I grew up in I left school when I was informed to I was that was the eight. [00:14:22] And [00:14:25] my grandmother was always saying [00:14:29] in the last few shows, it will be very hard for you. [00:14:36] But if you need if you want to be somebody, you have to learn to forgive. Forgive yourself for what you've chosen. Because if you do not forgive yourself, you won't be able to forgive others. All the negativity that you go through, you're not going to be able to deal with it. Unless you learn to forgive. Because forgive is better than sacrifice, because I know you. And she was pointing out in my head right in my face if you have a temper that could kill anybody. And so I grew up with that. But the problem I had was, was with my brother, and my father, because I was never close to my father. Well, I never knew my father until I went to high school. Until I saw my birth certificate that grandpa was not my my real father. But anyways, my father was more okay with me being LAT, but he wasn't good with me wearing dresses. And in 14, well, if I, when I was a baby, when I turned one, I was dressed in a can can dress costume. And I was carried by my by my auntie So, to me, I think I was I grew up, it wasn't because someone dress me, it was a natural thing to grow up as a lady, you know, like, because there's so much writing up on this on the situations that your seven boys and the youngest one will be treated or dressed as a as, as, as a female. You know? To me, that's not right. Because if you're dressed up as a girl, or treated like a girl, a lot of boys in town, I treated like a girl, you do the atoms, the women's atoms and you help your mother at home. But that doesn't make you a lady, that person just grow up and be a guy. And so, but a lot of us who grew up as a woman who feels like a woman live as a woman has grown up since birth to what we today, you know, and to me that I mean, to me personally is a natural thing. [00:17:08] One year old, [00:17:11] you were showing signs of being an AT I was I was, as my grandmother was saying, as I grew up, I seem to be [00:17:25] closer, I mean, doing female stuff. And I'll be sitting there I think I was one, I mean, two or three years old, and she had her pearls [00:17:40] on the on the desk, I think she just came back from a function, took her pearls and put it on the on the table. And I'll be walking over. [00:17:52] But instead of her stopping me, she was watching me the whole time. Well, I was gonna break, or, I don't know, but instead of breaking it, I picked it up and buckled it up again. You know, and she, then I, instead of throwing it, I put it back in his head a little box and put and put it in the box. You know, I she was noticing me and then I seem to be on the mirror all the time. combing my hair, that's I think that's why I was a beautician and I seem to be wearing liking to wearing dresses, you know, and so when I grew up, I had that femininity, you know, in me and trying all the time, even in school, that's I guess it, I don't know, but I got beaten up here in closing in. And, but while I was going through that, have you supported transition or whatever. And I had a hard time for with my brother, my one of my oldest brother, [00:19:14] I got roped, hang almost choked about six times. [00:19:23] And just try, he was trying hard for me to speak like a man talk like a man act like a man. And it never worked. You know, I was going through a whole lot of shift from a lot of my family members, you know, and even my father had almost beat me up in the middle of, of a government function for coming in and address. But I remember the first time I even walked into church, when I was 14, the blue pleated dress. I think that was the biggest flow show ever at Mass. And of course, my grandmother was always sitting at the front. So I had to take her up to the front. The whole time, everything, I think the father just ended up stopping, because everybody was in watching him. Everyone was watching us walking, then my grandmother, all I could hear was my grandmother, sit down. So I sit down, then the father continued on. From that day, I've want dresses to church up to today. And through just instead of me trying to prove something, I and instead I went I went in and join the community, you know, I went in help out with the quiet is the youth, the Sunday school, you know, whatever I can do to help, you know, so that the church can just stop all the labeling and everything you know, and get my transgender community to come in and help in whatever way, you know, [00:21:26] it was a lot more [00:21:30] easier than for us to be who we are. And to dress up the way we every day, to church to a party to a government function to anywhere, you know. [00:21:46] But at the same time, it wasn't [00:21:51] easy when you're going out to the rural areas of the country. Because when it comes to, to HIV education, going out to the, to the to the villages, it was more challenging than you living in town. You know, because as soon as you turn around and say, we're here to educate you on HIV and AIDS, they all turn around and stood up and say, Who are you? Why don't you go down to the city area to your paint to your kind, you know? [00:22:31] Why don't you go to paint the other ones who are going [00:22:38] do simple things in boys and whatever. So [00:22:45] one thing that's good is that we find that it is very useful to actually have your data, your HIV testing doctor [00:22:58] to show them [00:23:01] that I mean, since 1992. Today, all our hundred and 48 members are HIV free. So having that proves to them. And also the national data saying excuse me, out of the 19 people over here, none of these trends. The ones that are still still sick up to today are the so called straight straight. churchgoers. Like you, you knew. And you, you know. [00:23:39] So that help that you're helped a lot. But [00:23:48] I don't know, maybe that saying, you know, you can take the man out of the boats, but you can never take the bush out of the man, that mentality still sticks in their mind. You know, then they change the wording to Okay, forget about the HIV and AIDS. Why don't you go and read the Bible. I remember, on the first when we first started at our latest position, our first ever workshop was with the church leaders, the actual presidents and you know, the top clergy of all the churches. The first president of the total atheist association was our founder is Mrs. Popular from Jackie, straight woman as she owned a nightclub and tie in a hotel. And [00:24:46] she's the first female member of parliament. [00:24:52] And [00:24:57] when we did when we had the first workshop with the church leaders after formality, one of the president of the Church of tongue stood up and said, You You are a sinner. You had all these children over here to promote this sexual suddenly life. And he went on and on and on and on. And after that, he sat down. Then this is popular stood up and said beta respect Cincy honorable minister. So so and so I'd like to ask you, which Bible are you reading? Because the Bible I'm reading is totally different from what the words that you're reading the Bible, Amber MM reading is MN says, Do not judge. [00:25:58] And love your neighbors. These children are my neighbors. [00:26:05] My neighbors is not the people that are staying at my hotel. My neighbor is not my sister, they're staying from across the road, or the colony or the woman who brings me food every Sunday. Now, these are my neighbors. strangers, I don't even know who they are. But I love them. Because they are a member of our community. And they belong to this community. That is the reason why I brought them together to form this network. For us to recognize that this children belongs in this community and they belong in this country that we need to help them. If you want their lives to be good, then you better give them the support. Otherwise, you're just going to chase them away, and then on a move from one bad situation to another. So you tell me, which Bible are you reading, because I'm sure we're reading different, totally different Bible altogether. So after she sat down, then the bishop, then late Bishop, the Catholic bishop stood up in calm things down and said, maybe it's time for us church leaders to get out of our comfort zone. You know, and be good shepherds, if you want to be good shepherds, we need to recognize the work that this lady is doing. [00:27:37] So since then, [00:27:41] things has been was a little better. We still have one particular church that has still got against us. You know, and I don't know whether any of you saw one of the first ever Pacific LGBT conference that we had held in Tanana last year, we had that particular church of 12 people standing outside, from across the road, with a banner, get out of our country, we don't need homosexuality, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're evil, you know, and all that. [00:28:22] I think it just made us more [00:28:26] determined to make sure that the conference was going on. [00:28:32] And we made so much noise from across the road from [00:28:37] live entertainment at lunchtime. [00:28:44] Yeah, but we had a, [00:28:48] we had a quite a lot of good feedback from the community that we work with. [00:28:56] Okay, should I stop here and let you guys ask question. [00:29:15] Would you like to see something? [00:29:21] How much only in when when in your own in your own culture? That's the faculty What does that exactly mean? in you, like [00:29:29] a lady? Just say that the real word is more? more related to, to the Samoan word. for female? Soccer, female? Yeah. It's the family, it was never a common word. It was, that was a word that was brought in by all these researchers that right, there came to do researches batteries we never use for at, you know, very, when we started using that, that that's when we decided to take that F aka pot, you know, and just easily tea. But it wasn't a tradition. It's not a traditional word for word. But [00:30:17] can can first identify system meal, but it's a feminine opinion to be considered an AC now, [00:30:26] but we call everyone ageism, because we don't really have a specific word for LGBT IQ. You have that? And some of them may be with I know of two members of our of our association are intersex. But I had to actually explain to them why and classifying them as intersex so they know the difference between LGBT IQ, you know. But when it comes to all the terminologies, we don't use that back at home. So we just use everybody ladies, even a lesbian we call them lazy, you know, even though I mean, the common conversation at home is like, as soon as a lesbian walk into, you know, just the visit or to all our our get together. Oh, hello. Come in, you know, so everybody is la TU we don't have you know, we don't really it kind [00:31:27] of anyone who identifies opposite. or her? Yeah. [00:31:32] Yeah. Can we use in queer? [00:31:35] Yeah, [00:31:36] yeah. And it's just really interesting to see you guys never been used that way? because other people [00:31:43] do actually. Yeah, yeah, actually labeled us. What about [00:31:47] gay men? [00:31:50] They are all AT? [00:31:54] Yeah, we are. Again, and, you know, the lesbians are not as visible as the G and the L and B, in an empty seat. [00:32:13] noticed that in combination or culture to do for someone who cooks? Yeah, the lesbians are visible. [00:32:23] And if they're visible, they don't want to come? They some of them like in some more. I know that the lesbian community don't really want to come and join the the transgender community, you know, the rather be on their own. And they do their own thing. Yeah. I think maybe one of the reasons to me the whole framing and the whole organizing of the late has been framed in such a way it can only cater to the specific needs of his [00:32:59] life, how do you get a company here and not to address the other issues? [00:33:08] Not only Not only that, but it's the fifth. But because none of them were very comfortable to come in to come out publicly, you know, until we invited them to came to come in and join us. Then we had a couple to join us when we first started. Now we've got about eight that are actually out. But they don't want to form their own organization, they just want to be in within the total atheist Association. Because they feel more comfortable. They don't want to be because a lot of people, they rather see transgenderism 80s then dealing with lesbians know. After I addressed that particular church that came in, stood with the banner, then the that President of the church changed his method of preaching the very next Sunday, and saying, Okay, if the transgenders the ladies are fine, but a lesbian this blah, blah, blah. He was totally against this. [00:34:24] frickin hypocrite. [00:34:27] And I even posted on the on Facebook, I said, How can you teach about ladies that are okay, but no lesbian. You come from a family, your family just full of lesbians left right and center. [00:34:43] So does that apply to all the violence? [00:34:48] Yeah, that that lesbian struggling to [00:34:52] pull this off? But this is not enough for us. We're very busy. Yeah. [00:34:58] Totally. They've got their Yeah, yeah. I think you know, [00:35:07] the best a short. Yeah, we only have like a section of people who have done five intersects, or just no one who plays YP for the future and rec the women's team? Yeah, I think there's a lot of faith, you know, and also a lot of conversation and [00:35:30] I'm really interested to know more, because you were talking about back at home just recently, how you guys have gone ahead with your economic empowerment work. You guys are opening a cafe. That's pretty impressive. Yeah. The solidarity within the late Is this something we can find feature for the trends movement, very like [00:35:55] just collectively collectivist non [00:35:56] dualistic development generation, their livelihood. sustainable livelihoods? Yeah. We're just focused on human rights work. Yeah. But the latest petitioners today, they like holistic in when they are working within the LGBT community, and not only strengthening their knowledge and information on HIV and human rights, they also building the capacity building on the turn of the 20th down in some way in performance, income generation. A big thing? Well, [00:36:31] it took a lot of conversations, you know, and [00:36:38] a few international trips to actually abuse them there, you know, the government representatives that came to all the CSW and all that because they go and do their reports that everything's fine. You know, but the government hasn't even done anything to help them, the marginalized communities, you know, the sexual minority organizations. So Tilly has been running with no funding, no core funding at all, you know, and we have, when we first started in 1992, we decided that will have because, to be honest with you, none of us were well educated, the whole five members were not well educated, you know, and probably lower for the 80s our first president was the only well educated person and because in Tama so small that every single week, there's a church fundraising for every church, you know, and it's the same people you, you know, they use and every with their sports will have their fundraising and it's the same people you ask every day. So we decided, then we'll have a pageant. That's when we started the annual the Miss galaxy Queen pageant. So Miss galaxy Queen pageant had fund has funded the total atheist Association after today. Not only just paying the bills, but no, the only thing we don't have a paid staff. Everything is based on volunteer work. It funds for the last year with funded our 52 Yeah, 52 [00:38:41] scholarships for our school dropouts. [00:38:47] We've been able to secure jobs for those who graduated, starting started businesses for them. And then in nine 2013, we finally were able to establish an office, we worked from my little business with and even from home the whole time. Now with establishing office, and then into that, then when we get when we first when we open the the office, we invited our Cardinal now a new Cardinal, to come and bless the office. And he was gracious enough to come in and and bless it. And also we had our Princess Royal to come into the actual opening. [00:39:46] From that we sort of [00:39:51] made our move to the government because we had all the government representatives of the there. And Members of Parliament, we had the Prime Minister, we everyone at the opening, we've been stopped up main road. Yes. And the neighbors were all complaining that evening. Why is it that the trans people the late he's allowed to stop the road? [00:40:17] Anyways, [00:40:23] we approach the government for assistance. That's when they finally said yes. Okay, we'll give you $5,000 every year. So since then, they've been able to, they've been giving us the money. And with that money, and the money that we the little bit that we have left over from the Miss galaxy. But now moving to have a little build a little cafe. We've been able to get by machines, sewing machines for some of our the our ladies who has been great to graduating from technical school, so wants to do businesses, yeah, designs and all that. And, and of course hindrances. We've been able to get them to join the HPC fund paid to go to Fiji some more. And where else do they haven't been one or two? Yeah, for technical to all those technical schools and come back in, and we helped them to [00:41:38] start their own business. So it hasn't been [00:41:46] an easy ride for us, especially with no funding. But because of the passion that we have. [00:41:53] For the work that we do know, that's why we are still alive. [00:42:01] It hasn't been easy. [00:42:03] We're still dealing with a lot of shit from a lot of people. [00:42:08] Especially two and a half weeks ago, I got awarded and nominated for the woman of courage award by the US state. [00:42:23] And [00:42:27] the last two and a half weeks has been hell on earth. Because it's people that you have no people you have helped people within your family that, you know, to be so called supported, you know, the backstabbers? You know, it took that international recognition, to actually [00:43:00] bring out the true colors of everyone [00:43:04] being jealous, and yes, you know, I was posting on Facebook, they posted on other pages for me not to see it. But unfortunately, some of those friends of mine that know me very well, my family, we posted it on my page, not on me, not on my page, but inbox that to me, you know, and especially with transgenders from our community that are SoCal, born again, Christian. When I got that, and then last Saturday, and maybe you if you're on Facebook, you went to my page, and I, I posted it on there. But it's I started with Matthew chapter, something, do not attach, you know, and I poured out of my heart out with something that I had never shared in my life. [00:44:07] My past [00:44:11] is out there in public now. Things that I have never mentioned it to anyone. My grandmother was the only one day that has that know, that knew about it, you know, being raped at 14 [00:44:30] things that [00:44:35] that I [00:44:37] would have never been able to share publicly. [00:44:42] But after going through all that meant all those negativity. It brought back that suffering that I went through in life. And I think I was in the verge of killing myself. Because at the same time, I think that computer and the Facebook took all my attention. And I was just typing. Like, there was no tomorrow my hands, but my fingers were typing. And I was pouring my eyes off. And this was five o'clock in the morning. Because everything just popped up for me and I couldn't I couldn't carry it anymore. I couldn't carry the burden anymore. You know, I was asking God, why am I born? Why was I born like this? Why am I still alive? Should I just I should just take my life [00:45:37] and get over and done with my suffering? What I mean, 52 years of my life, I'm still suffering. I thought [00:45:45] everything's fine now. You know. But no, it's still killing me. It's still, you know, people are still there trying to grab you. And Randall you. [00:46:02] And I think [00:46:05] I think after an hour of of that. [00:46:11] After it was, I finally, when I [00:46:16] finally [00:46:18] press enter, and everything went on line, [00:46:23] I [00:46:25] finally realized what I was doing. And [00:46:32] it was the most beautiful feeling ever. You know, because I have never, I've kept that inside me for too long. You know, and [00:46:46] I've never experienced anything like that. And [00:46:51] I didn't know that [00:46:55] my sister was online, that very moment. I think it was after 10 minutes of pressing that enter button, the phone rang. And that's when I really poured out my heart. Because she's never known. I mean, even she all my mind you I've got about 42 brothers and sisters. And my father was [00:47:26] 42 brothers and sisters, blood, blood. [00:47:33] My father got married three times after one died. But he had other mistresses. [00:47:42] And the problem I had with him was [00:47:46] he never bother to look at himself of what he was doing. He was way up high with his money business Member of Parliament, you know that status. [00:48:01] When I turned around and wear a dress, he didn't like it. [00:48:06] And [00:48:16] so I didn't [00:48:19] have a good relationship with him. Until 2008. And he was in his deathbed. [00:48:30] I ended up being his nurse, you know, [00:48:34] being the person who was local of data and the whole time, and we made peace. But even though you make peace with that person, even my brother who handed me [00:48:52] that scan will always be inside you for the rest of your life. It will never go away. You know, I try Believe me, I've tried to wipe it away out of my life. But it has, has never gone away. And I think that sky will be with me for the rest of my life. But after letting go of all my past, publicly, I've been able to talk about it. I've been now I you know, I've done presentations and all this and that in all these international but I've never shared my personal life. [00:49:37] Like how I do today. [00:49:40] But I feel a lot more freer [00:49:44] that I have let go [00:49:47] of that past [00:49:52] and be able to talk about it because it has lifted a burden for me. And I feel free and I feel more encouraged that [00:50:05] I need to help those who are still suffering from it. [00:50:09] I just found out yesterday that I was at the front page of our paper. Apparently the paper took everything that was on Facebook, the share that I did on the post that I did on Facebook, and posted [00:50:29] on the paper. [00:50:31] And well, the paper belongs to a member of our the person is belongs to the church. And he got back apparently he was emailing me, but I've been busy with the conference and I didn't even check my mail. Because he was asking if he can press it. I mean, if he can put it on the paper. But it well, it's out there. But I have never seen something that I that I have posted that has been shared publicly, so much. From a lot of people, you know, and, and the amount of response has been miraculous, you know, and the funny thing is, right after that things are happening now in time, there's been reporting of sexual abuse of little children. There's been two girls, just from two weeks from last Sunday to now we've got four cases. You know, and I just hope, because these things have has been happening in time, you know, and especially when seed or happen, everyone thought that we were the ones who are pushing for it, you know, they changed everything from woman to Lady. And they were while they were doing the matching against seed or they were talking about homosexuality, etc. about women's rights. So it didn't really help us at all, you know, but you know, the drag queens at home. They took pictures of every single world and naming Okay, your son, when with this track with you, you went with this one's Brother, you that's how it was. That's how bad it was. And I actually had to come in and stop it. [00:52:54] Because [00:52:56] they were that that the ladies? them our members were angry, because they were being marginalized by some of their families and all that because, you know, they thought they keep thinking see door is totally the ladies I in it. And if we allow the door, the ladies will be able to marry. It's all about you know, they're jumping into conclusion. gay marriage, gay marriage, gay marriage, same sex marriage. But instead of saying gay marriage, they said [00:53:32] homosexuality is evil. [00:53:36] All these little messages [00:53:39] was written on banners, you know? So that's what our members turned around and said two pictures of it and posted it on Facebook and said you, you you with all these and then we had quite a few families that call back to us and said can you please ask your members to delete their posting? And I turned around and said, Well tell your managers to burn their banners. So they can delete it because if you keep on managing that's what's going to happen. And for your information, maybe some of your church ministers were one of those victims has been abusing Ortiz for too long [00:54:30] so [00:54:32] after that, things were a lot [00:54:36] more [00:54:39] silence no more there was no more managing no more but [00:54:46] then that then we had the Pacific sexual diversity network human rights conference then this little particular church of 12 members came in stood with that banner you get out of our country Tony doesn't need evil homosexuality all this event but then afterwards we the conference went well come completed with a great outcome and it just made us more louder than then you know. But [00:55:26] there's a lot more work to do [00:55:31] I don't know how my life is going to be when I get back since there's a lot that has been publicly published and but [00:55:46] maybe this is made me a stronger person [00:55:53] and I think God every day that I am what I am today [00:56:00] with that no thank you very much for your attention. [00:56:12] Well, before we finish [00:56:18] finish with a song that has been with me for the in my whole entire life. And I think this is all like the PhD in song that they always request for me to say but [00:56:33] it's [00:56:36] by Josh Groban. [00:56:39] You raise me up and in the lyrics of this song means a lot for the life that we've gone through. I'd like to dedicate this to [00:56:52] all of you and those of you who have lost all your friends and families that you lost and [00:57:01] remembering those who are suffering [00:57:04] from this issue [00:57:19] and do my soul so we [00:57:24] want to travel [00:57:33] and [00:57:39] in the song [00:57:42] to come [00:57:45] and see [00:57:50] you really is me. [00:57:53] So a concern on [00:57:59] you. Me. [00:58:02] To me see. [00:58:07] I am strong. When [00:58:12] the show [00:58:18] to move. [00:58:58] You raise me [00:59:01] so can [00:59:06] you raise me [00:59:10] to walk on Stover me? [00:59:15] Hi. [00:59:30] Can [00:59:36] you raise [00:59:49] calm stormy sea [01:00:08] can be [01:00:19] CU [01:00:48] You raise me [01:01:17] read that note Milo pizza [01:01:20] now valuable. firefighter and makeup rescue

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