Hinemoana Baker profile

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[00:00:00] This program is brought to you by pride in zero.com. [00:00:07] cohesion one a vacant or green one. [00:00:10] No, no, no [00:00:17] no not to cover [00:00:19] the whole topic Papa. [00:00:22] Papa Mama, no Irani made your money hit high wire. He tried to be a whole UK for Kaka [00:00:33] Kaka how he did it to him to be toyed Mickey [00:00:40] and in my spare time [00:00:44] doesn't sound like they will be. [00:00:46] So I'm a writer musician and on my dad's side on Maria come from nice for you he might have a Nazi, [00:00:54] Nazi Nazi Nazi cover. And on my mom's side who people are from England, Germany, Bavaria to be precise. And I work as a writer and musician and as a teacher and sometime producer. And in my spare time I work for quit line. [00:01:12] Helping people give up smoking. Yeah, sheesh, have you always Russian and song? [00:01:20] Well, since I was I can remember my first book was when I was eight. [00:01:25] Sitting on the steps of our little state house and fuck a party, and our topic. And I was writing I can't remember exactly what but that had lots of chapters and there was a ship break and most of those chapters so that's what I remember from it. But fortunately, the manuscript is it survived, probably probably see damaged. [00:01:50] And then I remember right writing poetry through my teens angsty thanks to poetry my teens, and the I'm [00:02:01] yeah, university, I showed it to a literature lecturer and he was kind enough not to say it was dreadful. [00:02:10] He said something like, you could turn the volume down a little bit, something like that, you know, something kind but useful. [00:02:19] And then I did a course in fact of Victoria, we're filming while before it turned into the huge monolithically fabulous thing it is now. And then I did the Masters, which was monolithically fabulous. [00:02:33] And it was in 2002. So [00:02:36] you're pretty much from when I was eight. I mean, I've seen this before and other kind of places, but my accountant used to say that, you know, you should do for a living what you were doing for fun when you were eight. Wow. Yeah. Other people have seen seven, seven years old. I've been making [00:02:54] Fox Sports for houses. houses. Yeah, yeah, I hear there's a position going to be [00:03:03] building New Zealand or something. Right? Yeah. [00:03:06] Yeah, I just saw it the other day. So I guess I was right. He was counting money. And I was writing a little box I [00:03:16] was worked out except we just need to get you into that fort. My thing position would be sweet. [00:03:21] And we always encouraged to write or was there a real kind of anti artists thing? All they don't make money? And they're always depressed? And they [00:03:29] know not really, there was? No, I think that basically, my parents were just pleased that I was alive. And I was good. Yeah, and kind of saying, and getting some good marks at school and in stuff. [00:03:44] That we're proud of me for the English, you know, achievements I made, and I much and thought I was going to be a journalist. So I did journalism for a while. And then I kind of thought, kind of realized that as a journalist. You're your best day as everybody else we stay, you know, I just couldn't carry on. I couldn't carry on too. I'm too sensitive. So. So. So I lifted a line. And really they haven't, they haven't. I mean, they do worry that I'm not in my own mention and all of it, but I'm too old for them to really give any say now. Yeah. [00:04:23] And around being tough, a tough we have they always been supportive about [00:04:29] choice, you know, just being a quite bossy, I think my mom was said, and thought that it means that she wouldn't have any children. [00:04:41] Which is not necessarily true is you know, my dad was like, all right, okay. He was a bit shocked by things but not. So as you've noticed, he just, he's always really rolled with that dad, he and I both really embrace my partners, my various partners, male and female and varying orientations. Yeah. So I haven't got any complaints and IT department, which is great. The rest of my family, most of them have been good couple have been really vile. But [00:05:12] we just don't see them anymore. [00:05:15] And if you always know [00:05:19] when we remember, first thing I [00:05:21] remember first thinking, you know, I fell in love with my best friend. Didn't we all if we were really honest, fell in love with my best friend when I was, you know, 14. [00:05:33] And, you know, felt feelings with you that pink sheet appeal for me. didn't really have any words to describe it at that point. [00:05:42] But, you know, when I did start describing it, you know, a couple of years later, I've always thought you're bisexual. That's cool. It's me. I'm fine with it. You know, I haven't really ever had any lack of self acceptance around us. I don't know where I got those positive vibes from because there's a lot of negative vibes out there. I found out later. [00:06:01] But it was nothing no kind of negative stuff when you're at school, or that you picked up on that I picked up on you will be reading a book. I was probably buried in a book. [00:06:11] Yeah, possibly. I just I mean, I knew that it wasn't an okay thing to say that you would you know, out loud as a teenager at school. But I didn't feel that myself. I felt quite comfortable with it myself. Yeah, I always have. Yeah, so I don't have any of those stereotypes of bisexuals being you know, promiscuous, or, [00:06:33] you know, disingenuous liars are just gonna play with you know, all of that stuff I just missed out on all of it. quite clear. And really [00:06:43] have you been confronted with other people's views? Over and over again? [00:06:47] So boring? Absolutely. It's just the thing that people think that it's more to do with the label bisexual than the actual person being an asshole. Right? You know, people can be assholes for more schools of persuasion so I'm not denying that there are there are bisexual people have you know but I really don't think there's a higher percentage of us that whole thing about the difference between being monogamous and and non monogamous tickets mixed up with being bisexual brigade not there's anything wrong with either but it's not the same. People say you know you're in a halfway house you're not making a commitment you're not political and Matthew blah blah blah blah well you know, just me as one person I can I can end the life I believe I can refute the every single one of those claims and I'm sure I'm not alone. So think we should get some great dress. Can you just have a look at victories? [00:07:42] Fantasticks? This woman is a little Penny chrysalis actually got a home. [00:07:46] But it's only a shrink. [00:07:53] Who knows what's going on under the hood? [00:07:57] I'll stop raving and ranting. [00:08:00] Did you grow up in Wellington on Phuket, Thailand. [00:08:03] I grew up all over the county and Nelson my life. And I've lived in Wellington and the environs of Wellington for the last 15 years. You're finally Yes, it's like what back from Sri since I got back from I was in England and Europe in Zimbabwe for a few years. When I got back from there was a 92. So yeah, it's it's actually been about 18 years. Oh, [00:08:33] wow. All right. [00:08:39] The interview was hit, I'm [00:08:42] assuming you identify as an adult, has it been difficult as an adult kind of maintaining that creative process to keep on not just producing but keep creating and [00:08:53] I've had I've had the good fortune of having some massive boosts along the way. So I mean, getting into the course getting into the Masters course at the amateur moderators was a massive boost to my confidence. So that kept me going for two years. And then my first poetry got was was co published by Victoria University priests who are here in mountain but also Viggo Mortensen from Lord of the Rings, which is an inside story just doesn't, doesn't sound like it would ever happen to a normal person, the line of power. So, I mean, that was just, it was one of those incredibly strange but wonderful boosts to to my confidence and my star rating, you know, my celebrity status, we have massively. You can Google the guy's name and like my name actually sometimes comes up alongside, you know, things like Hollywood. He's a lovely guy, actually. He was awesome. He was incredibly busy, but took the time to actually do some either thing and produce this amazing book that's got pictures and frickin CD in the bag and a hardcover on mean, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I was the most hated person New Zealand for some time out of it. [00:10:07] And then I've had other boosts along the way. [00:10:11] You know, like, in my music, we got asked to play it. Why me last year? I mean, [00:10:14] do you have a band or you just self titled as yourself, [00:10:17] I'm, uh, I'm self titled, as a soloist. And then I have a duo with my partner, Christine white, energized called 25. And we do strange, we do folk pop type songs, but with strange ambient Sonic archive instruments made out of kitchen utensils. So it's quite fun. I don't know it was, it was quite what my bedroom kitchen utensils or anything, anything made of steel, Chris, Chris makes contact Mike's tiny little mic. So she puts them under a steel quite on a Black and Decker workbench. And then we use a cello bow. And we put steel things on top of it steel plate and we bow those steel fence so it could be could be a cheese grater or it could be wine rack. What else have we got got those little seven tracks, you know that go and grow seven gross. They will make different sounds and they all sound like different creatures. So that's where the telephone came from. So you kind of are doing what you [00:11:13] were doing when you're eight. [00:11:14] Yeah. Around hanging around yet. You're right. Yeah. [00:11:20] Oh, hold on what else you were saying? Hasn't been hard to my time. [00:11:26] The main thing that's been difficult to get around as not actually, you know, the financial side of it, or the routine side, or really, it's the fact that I have depression. So I've had several bouts of severe depression, I've my life and that just makes me really dysfunctional. And it makes anything same worthless and hopeless and stuff. So I've had to be really disciplined about how I handled it. And I've got a really good way [00:11:54] that was because you were mad at us before they told you that. I [00:11:59] don't know how that stereotypes got out of the really cause I'm, you know, it doesn't discriminate. Depression doesn't discriminate. I mean, you know, john Q and got an all black. But I did I guess it took me a while to take it seriously, myself. I don't know whether that's because of it or because it just seemed like, you know, people thought everyone's got depression. But yes, that's true. A lot of people do have it, but not everyone, you know, wants to die every day. So once I got to that point, I was like, once it got to that point, again, I'm you know, we've got some help. And I've got fantastic corner [00:12:39] medical was at the wanting to die that made you go all this might be but serious. It was it Plus, the fact [00:12:45] this [00:12:47] is if it's not enough, [00:12:50] it was just that I felt just got this ridiculous. I've got a kind of pathological independence. And I'm like, I've got to fix it myself. I've got to do it myself. It wasn't even so much a stigma about taking medication or anything like that. But I think I didn't have it. But it was more to do with, you know, just trust with to listen as well, and the distrust of handing my health over to somebody else, which is quite, quite good. So what that's what that's been as I've I have asked for help. But I also continue to do all of these other strategies and techniques, regular it's like, ridiculous, regular exercise and sleep and you know, journaling, and all sorts of other techniques. I just can't let them drop, which is actually quite good. That means that all have a long, fabulous life. [00:13:42] And so how would [00:13:44] you describe your work for someone who may be on the other side of the world that doesn't know who you are? Or doesn't know to Google figure Viggo Mortensen? [00:13:53] I don't know if there's anyone in the world who doesn't know who I am. Of course, aliens. Oh, yeah. So I guess my work. [00:14:03] What I do creatively would be I'm very interested in sound. So sometimes that takes the form of the sound of poetry or the sound of music, The Sound of Music, or, you know, found sounds pretty song sounds, yeah, like field recordings, those kinds of things. Most recently, I've produced I was doing a residency in Australia and I, I wrote a lot of tickets, but I also did field recordings and all these outfit locations and put them together so as a kind of Sonic partner. So that's, that's the thing that I'm most interested in at the moment. Betsy, it I've just done a novel, like an idiot. Boy novels real hard. It's so long. Oh, my God, so long. And there's a lot to know about writing prose. So I'm kind of a begin of the year but I'm, I'm working on it. I'm doing what's called that shift. I've got one story I really want to tell based on my dad's childhood, so [00:15:05] it just doesn't seem to work telling it in any other way. [00:15:09] Wish me luck with a [00:15:11] good mark. [00:15:15] So you, you did a residency in Brisbane, we done residency sales with [00:15:20] on your your fame with the Lord of the Rings. [00:15:24] I should be doing a Middle Earth residency. [00:15:29] I've done one short residency very early on it x the stout Research Center, it was a reader's digest fellowship, oh, I wrote most of my first album there. So that was awesome, very grateful for that. But apart from that, my that's my only residency. residency is a bit of a career in a way because only one person can get them. So I've had other assistants like I paid money from creative New Zealand and stuff, it's probably better in some ways for me to apply for those funding things rather than visitors is because like my publisher said, once, you know only one person can get the residency but they can divide the money. So when I do apply, I often refuse to apply for funds, but that Brisbane was a bit of an exception, they invited me to apply because I did I did a gig for them a couple of years beforehand, and they really liked me. So they invited me to apply and I said, hell yes. And then I got it. So yeah, that was three months of Australia. Very different to New Zealand and I wrote crap loads over the end which was great and produced that CD well as over here too because I'm an overachiever [00:16:40] and [00:16:42] just kind of examining my my emotional reactions to being here as well because I had these massive crying Jags I don't know where they came from just huge. I mean maybe I was hindsight but I bet they would just you know come on in the laundry or as you know, just got off stage or whatever [00:17:00] so I just exploring that like we that was coming from [00:17:04] the landscape IVF sites from around the outback so different God couldn't be more different to New Zealand vast in silence You know, when you really get down to it and all so all so I forgot I've my anxiety attacks from being that far from the coast [00:17:25] as you know, the sea made and then I am [00:17:29] It was awesome. Actually, I felt profoundly calm, [00:17:36] I guess Dr. Or [00:17:38] influences or to create stuff as you always been like it? [00:17:47] No. [00:17:50] Have they been kind of student have been so painful, or [00:17:53] I guess I feel an urge to mouth off about things, whether the political law, personal, kind of, I've always sought some kind of publishing. So I guess that's what performing is, in a way it's publishing. [00:18:10] Publishing my take on things. And so as the poetry [00:18:16] I don't feel, I do feel that huge, but it's definitely more towards at the moment, it seems to be more towards the publishing rather than the performing because performing takes it out of me a lot. I don't have a character that I become, you know, that I can protect myself with. So it's just me up there on stage. And particularly if I do one after the other, I get really naked. So veering towards the talking in the box, rather than talking on the stage at the moment. [00:18:42] So it's quite a solitary process. I mean, apart from your band band, and Tony, Tony far as a quite solitary and you just pop around in your own phone room, and you're in shape. [00:18:54] I mean, let's see, lots of people know I don't I try to I try to avoid people. Please, my biggest curse. [00:19:05] And that's quite solitary. I'm [00:19:10] easily distracted. So I have to be quite staunch with myself and write that in your report cards is [00:19:16] one thing that I used to write in my blanket book. So I've just been reading recently so funny, loves all food. growing well, putting for dinner. But now on my on my report cards. Now, I was always a bit of a news not distracted too much. But as an adult, obviously, that's all gone down. But it is really solitary. Except I have a great writing group that I make this regularly. We've been meeting for like six years. quite rare for writing group. How long do we usually when I was not that long? A bit long. So that's been awesome. Great. touchstone to him. And I mean, the residency was for some money to say to that it was arts Queensland who gave me a good theme, you didn't get eaten by a crocodile and not so good. Yeah. And the Queensland poetry festival also in the Judith Rights Center was where I stayed in the Judith right center is this amazing center of contemporary arts and Brisbane. And mean, when I was there, I realized how vibrant the scene as there and I guess it is vibrant here as well, but in different ways. Man, it's really happening the air and everything just seems a little bit more prosperous. You know, I'm not, I'm not being all down on New Zealand or anything. But it was good to see my eyes opened a little bit on that level. And so yeah, being over there, I felt so isolated, and it was the least solitary prices. [00:20:36] Did you notice that there was a kind of characteristic of New Zealand [00:20:40] writers or [00:20:42] when you are the kind of compared to [00:20:44] other people? Well, I felt for myself that I was way more self conscious then in the artist stina like I was to sort of were like tall poppy styles going on. Oh, thanks. So something like that. I just people over there like you and it's done. But more gung ho but more confident, artistically, that really hard working. And I brought that back with me that feeling of like, yeah, I'm just gonna do it, whatever, you know, everyone's allowed that book. Whatever gets you to the to the chair and sit down and doing it taking a few risks. I felt really inspired on that level from Australia. [00:21:24] Are you working on your novel now? And, and a whole lot of other things? Or do you constantly do everything at the same time? I [00:21:31] won't be around that nowadays. No, just the novel. And I haven't written the poem for a while, but I'm sure what you're one. There's a lot to learn with writing a novel. It's such a different animal. And I want to do it properly. I don't want to write this book. And it goes in the bottom drawer like most fifth novels. So as usual, I'm setting myself unrealistic targets. So I'll get back to your new one. [00:21:53] Do you feel him but he's pushing pigeon holed, or [00:21:58] as a moderator, [00:22:01] top we ride or anything, or sometimes I wish that people wouldn't run and offer me jobs just just because I'm already know, I'm sure it's not just because of it. But I feel like when someone's gonna offer me a job that's got no Murray things involved with it whatsoever. And I probably wouldn't say yes to it. But it would just be nice to know that I was appreciated, I guess, or valued as a as an artist or as a worker for what else I have not just those skills and links. But you know, it's a fairly privileged set of problems to hear. [00:22:37] The tricky dynamic is [00:22:38] a tricky dynamic. I'm not wondering because my life will be loose. [00:22:43] I do I do think sometime I do feel like sometimes that of people are picking up and reading my book because they want to read a modern writer that they're going to be thinking what because I guess most of the Mahdi authors that are raid, right, you know very differently to me these maybe perhaps the more immersed in the culture on a daily basis. Maybe grew up with it more than I does. I feel a little bit other by myself from it living night. But by the same token, I'm really proud of it and I'm really in love with the language and in love with the culture so it'll always be there I'm sure people to do with what they want. [00:23:21] And how do you feel about the kind of the whole the whole New Zealand literature poetry scene? Or [00:23:29] do you feel that there is one and you can see what it's doing more? [00:23:33] just pause for a while. Or no, I'm I mean, I, I don't go to a lot of things because once I'm back home and I could at it's hard to get me away from the beach. [00:23:44] But I do kind of know what's going on and it's really very vibrant here as well. The let's just say the poetry scene in particular in Wellington is just awesome. She feels Dhaka you know, has it that whole, you know, serious, New Zealand. Let's go Let's turn phones being rude to her. I can [00:24:06] do this. [00:24:08] When you're in Brisbane, happy sunny Brisbane. [00:24:13] People on the beach. [00:24:15] don't notice I'm in the subject matter on the content was wasn't markedly different. Yeah. I mean, what I do notice over the year, what I've noticed over the years that there's a lot more opportunities for performance poetry, I think an Oakland were a little bit more well served, then we would be down in Wellington at the moment anyway, because it changes to, you know, events and nights come and go. It's been great to be here like how to go out and actually do it today. And it was great. And other events but at the moment I think there's there's a bit of a tooth but um, yeah, often these things happening in general, I mean, it's a huge city, Brisbane and forget the biggest city so there's just a lot more going on that dark thing. I mean, I I love it. So I don't know, we don't even notice us know. [00:25:04] So you do enjoy the [00:25:06] New Zealand literature poetry. See, I'm listening. I'm I'm getting really into audiobooks at the moment. So I'm listening to Alice to cry. I am and [00:25:15] yeah, I've been reading a lot of Kate campsite. Trees actually caught owls all over the cover. So all time Yes, an hour period right now. [00:25:25] Yeah, I do really love it. Otherwise, I'll always feel proud of and connected to it. [00:25:37] Guess what I'd like to say to round things off would be [00:25:41] Yeah, that thing of, [00:25:44] you know, otherness or identity on that level. [00:25:49] I'd really like us to allow our artists to be or our people actually to be what they are. [00:25:56] and acknowledge that that can change over time. [00:26:01] You know, for myself, I've I've, [00:26:05] you know, I've had male partners, and I've had a female partner now for 19 years or something along the 12 years. But I do kind of lament that people. You know, even just the other day, I was listening to a friend say that she'd finished your relationship with a woman and she was about to date this guy and, and that she wouldn't have to she wouldn't be able to go to the gay swim team that she normally goes in. And I laughed because I thought that can't be true. But the other the other two people in the room are like, nine a life. And well, they will exactly but they weren't jumping in to say, Oh, no, don't be silly, you will be most welcome. I tie so recognize the need and the importance of those boundaries. And those you know, queer only women only gay only Louisiana? Absolutely. It's been absolutely vital for my health and my mental well being over the years for respect that. And yet, I'd really like us to be more imaginative with how that evolves in a kind of three dimensional way to match the fact that people are three dimensional. Yeah. Or even more, more dimensional. So that would be what I'd like to say. And I guess that that means to review an artist, you know, whatever shape or form builder or Weaver? Yeah, that would be my my last word to the world. And it's like, that's a great note to end on. [00:27:30] Thank you very much for sharing with us and for your time.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.