Nathaniel - Beyond Rainbows

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[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by pride nz.com and made possible through a generous grant from our tire. Hey, [00:00:08] how would you describe your [00:00:11] bio? Just that. That's just it? just so happened to be a transfer? Yeah. [00:00:20] What does that identity mean? in another sense? Like anything? [00:00:24] Anyways, you might as [00:00:26] well identify as Molly before anything else. [00:00:32] And when did you first become aware that you were [00:00:38] late 2011? [00:00:41] And, yep, I had met first person in Wellington, after someone had told me about School's out. And I was like, Oh, [00:00:52] no, like, Oh, yeah, this this person there that. I was like, Oh, wow. I think that. [00:01:01] Yeah, I kind of went on a traveling that of figuring out who I was for the past, like, a year or so. And then Yeah, kinda stuck with it now. [00:01:11] Do you feel like [00:01:13] either or both of those identities and make your minorities [00:01:19] just so? Yeah, kind of foreplay. [00:01:26] Being tactile boy. [00:01:29] It's a much of a tech savvy community. [00:01:33] Um, so I didn't know that many, until just let's see what I had attended, who took a takeaway, which was one of the best experiences of my life. And I met some amazing people live and even people from my own Hopper, and they were amazing. And Yep. Yeah, so they're [00:01:54] gonna tell me a bit more about your experience there and why that is. So. [00:01:59] Oh, god, oh, was was very important to you. Because as growing up, I didn't as a multi person growing up. I didn't know that as a queer person as well, I had a place inside my own culture. I had never heard about, you know, a game or a person. Other than that, what now presenter, Thomas a coffee. And I knew him for so long. But I just thought that he was the only person he was the only multi gay person I ever knew. I was like, wow, what happens? I have, like, what did they do? [00:02:34] Yeah. [00:02:36] And just the experience was amazing, because I got to meet so many people who had gone through the same exact thing. And just everyone coming together. And, and yeah, just learning a bit more about my own culture as well. And and myself and, and identifying is take a takeaway. Now, instead of just something else, [00:03:00] what does that word mean to you? [00:03:02] It means it means being Molly before Queer as one, I think, you know, and then kind of presenting yourself as Marie and then, you know, on the side, you're queer, you know, we're just, yeah, that's kind of what it means to me. And just like, the history of queer people within my culture, and taking on that role, and stuff like that, [00:03:28] is it important to you that there is that, that history that and finding that Oh, [00:03:32] yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely finding it was a finding going on that journey now is one of the best experiences ever. And I feel so great within myself now. and better than ever, to be. How you [00:03:47] feeling before you kind of found that community and [00:03:52] kind of last day, because whenever I was very, I don't know what you kind of say, like, I'm kind of why washed. When I grow up. I didn't properly know that I knew that was Marty and I knew that I was brown. But like, I didn't know No, you know, I was like, Oh, I can do all of these things. And all these these kinds of stuff and not have like repercussions away, I'm going off on a tangent. I just know, I just didn't know that I was modeling that I had a culture that I could grasp and take and learn from. And now that I know that it's there for me, I'm willing to jump in and just grab it. Yeah, that's mine. [00:04:36] Are there any like particular ways that you like doing that? Like, [00:04:39] I'm I'm definitely keeping in contact with people from which I could top away. [00:04:46] And yeah, going on with that and stuff like that. Also, I met some people there who invited me to a couple hacker group called tiwhanawhana and Wellington. And it's, it's like a tomboy Cup of Hockey group. And I was very, very happy about that. Because actually growing up, I never did cover hacker because I thought it was stupid. And, you know, I thought everything about my culture was stupid. And now I just love it completely. And to find a fun as I went there a couple of times, and yeah, I absolutely adore it. And I'm going back. What is [00:05:20] it? Like being like a trans man and the tech community? And have you had many kind of role models and many other [00:05:30] trans people? [00:05:32] I have not met very many top we like trends mean within within the community. Action is really sad. I can't recall a person I've made this was a trend. I have heard of people, but I actually haven't met them yet. So [00:05:54] do you feel like that's something that that kind of representation will knowing and other people like to feel like this? [00:06:00] Something's missing? important. [00:06:03] Um, I feel like it would be important, but to be honest, for now, I am just happy being around. Anyone, anytime I talk with people within the community that have stories to tell, and you know, things to teach me and that's, I think that's enough for me. Yeah. [00:06:20] Do you think maybe you like storing up and it could be kind of awesome for other again, marine transmission? [00:06:28] Oh, I hope so. [00:06:30] But I've got I've got a few more stories to live myself before I think, [00:06:36] you know, they should be told [00:06:39] but young but too young right now. [00:06:42] But um, ya know, that. [00:06:47] What do you think about [00:06:50] the way I guess, grand transfer for represented in the media, but particularly, [00:06:57] to the email to the later? [00:07:02] Well, I can think of is Orange is the New Black right now. [00:07:07] I think I think it's okay. I'm not saying it's good. It's not even average, but it's okay. But, you know, we start from here, and we go further on. And that's just kind of how it goes. But I don't know, I can't really think of anyone that I could relate to on TV, or on any type of show right now. But that's okay. I watch TV shows. Um, yeah, it's okay. I hope that it does get better, to be honest, because that'd be great for people. I mean, I did hear about this new Glee trans character, which everyone is very mad about, I believe. It sounds like they got a little bit lazy. And that's kind of where it's just okay. That's okay. It's not good. It's not bad. It's also not average. But yeah, I don't want to skip it. Well, if you'd like to see more, oh, just don't create characters and not like, not like, the normal kind of queer characters that you'd say, like, rich or middle class and being able to go through the entire world and still be a bit also. But you know, the real type of quiz. Do you know what I mean? Like, people who, you who suffer, but also people who don't? And people who have gone through a lot of chefs and disabled people just, you know, anything would be I'd love to see that. I would love to see people like me, I'd love to see people like my friends, you know? And, [00:08:47] yeah. So you kind of talked about top week, maybe interesting thing [00:08:55] is generally being part of some kind of queer community, or, [00:08:59] as you're coming out was that [00:09:01] it has always been important to me. [00:09:05] As soon as I soon as I was a young, queer, I found out that there was a place that I could go where it would be safe for me. And although it was scary to hear about it and be like, what if someone did I know that could tell anyone, but that never happened. And as soon as I went into the space, and it was amazing, and it was absolutely nice. It's always been a part of my life, and it will always be a part of my life. I have to be a part of this. push myself. Yeah, this is it's it's it's the I think it's the just the best part of my life so far as being a part of the queer community. And Wellington. Yeah. [00:09:52] And how did you find that community? All? [00:09:58] groups are being sold online? [00:10:01] Yeah. Jimmy, how I got into it or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got into it three skills out. So yeah, three schools, schools, and kind of just met people through there and kept on going and kept on going. And then everyone's just meeting everyone going other places and going to hallways and, you know, and stuff like that. And that's, that's really how it started. Started. This goes out. Actually, no, I did it all wrong. No, no, my first my, my school's queer group, if you could call it that, it was like two people. And it only lasted about three months. But they had known about a place called School's out. And I had gone out of my way to go and find it. And so I didn't, I started off actually at the lower house, School's out. And then they told me there was one in Wellington. And I was like, I'm out here. We started going to Wellington. And then I would treble from a hot after school, all the way into Wellington, because I love to come in here and hang out and have some food and go get a coffee. They just took a train back on our end. [00:11:16] And how old were you when you [00:11:19] must have been 1515? No, I want to be number 14 just turned 15? Maybe? Yeah, something around that kind of area. Yep. [00:11:33] And [00:11:34] so finding that community must have been quite helpful in terms of you kind of [00:11:40] figuring out your identity and [00:11:41] Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I started I started off with a quick immunity. So when completely different than who I am today. And yeah, just as soon as I started making meeting like trans people and gender queer people, and basically no binary people. I just kept changing my identity, is it a win all the way on down the track, and then we found the right one, and just got there? [00:12:10] What was it [00:12:12] like for you figure now transitioning while at school, and [00:12:17] it was it was confusing, but the thing is, is that I kind of made it a bit easier for myself, as I as soon as I found out that I was trends, I was having a bit of a hard time. And I was thinking I was in year 12 at school. And so I left, I left and I went to a different High School in Wellington, I made a slideshow for my parents to make things so that I can go. And they took them about a week to come around, because I pushed it in their face was like, heard about Wellington High School. And I was like, it's so amazing, everyone's awesome. And as soon as I got there, everyone was awesome. was amazing school. And that made it differently easier. Because went from identifying as a salesperson in a stupid college and have a heart to identifying so I wanted to be and I was in high school. But that was the hardest year of my life differently for my parents. Because not only was I learning somewhere else, I was, you know, a day completely changed. I changed my name on the role without telling them. And they found out. And I just remember those day when they found out and they my father had come in to talk to the date about changing it. And one of the deputy principals, she was amazing. She was actually Queer as well. And she was she told the dean and I heard from him that she was going to have a go at my father. And that's just how amazing they were they did it they did they went out of their way to help me and even though the head to change my name. Well, we're all because of my parents. Because I was under 16 at the time. No, no, sorry, I was on it a moment. I had to listen to them, they went out of their way to scrub out my name with a virgin my old name with a vivid and input my actual name on for other teachers that would come in and and just when they would print out roles, and you could take off your name. And it was amazing. But the other [00:14:25] 10 students are like a queer community at the school. [00:14:28] Yes, there was yes, there were a couple of other trans people, which made it awesome. Both of them were well mon mon. Without school. I was not. But it had come out during the year. And it was something that I didn't want. But it happened because stuff ups had come up on the roles and, and stuff like that. But um, I think I just got through it because people kind of just like, why should we give a shit. But some people will like, this is weird. And then, you know, just hanging out with people who like who gives a shit? [00:15:08] experience? [00:15:10] I'm not that much. No, I can't say I have that much. I think the hardest thing is always coming out to people that you are dating. And seeing their response. There's the scariest thing in the entire world. [00:15:31] And especially since [00:15:34] I think had a point in the last year, I tried to suicide dead people with outside of the community. And yet, that was the scariest thing in my entire life. I had to know that they had at least one quit afraid so that was okay. But um, no, not not too much, really only from family members and stuff like that. And the wrist. I've always surrounded myself with people that I know will be amazing. [00:16:04] Do you have any other [00:16:05] any advice other [00:16:07] people facing that? are telling people that they're getting? [00:16:14] You just need a snack and dollars? Like Don't Don't do it. Don't ever do it face to face? I people might tell you that. But I have never ever done it face to face mostly because of violence issues. And just you know, you could get punched no matter what sexuality you are. violence can happen and shouting and you know, it depends on the type of person you are. So I always either cold, or message text message is the one I usually use it because then I don't have to hear the tone of voice. But yeah, most mostly sometimes if you'll find that if they are within the queer community, then they usually most people are pretty cool with it. And it's best just to say see, like, track a person out? Do you know what I mean? Like, just be like, what do you think of these types of people kind of thing? And that's what I usually did for so that's, that's my advice. [00:17:15] What do you think some of the most important [00:17:19] things effecting [00:17:26] change in [00:17:28] education for youth and public schools? [00:17:32] That is what I want. So many have been thinking about lately would be education? Well, I would say quit education, kind of, because all the kids get taught in school was is six, eight, I guess that's what they call it. Straight education about, you know, I want I want queer identities. And so kids can learn about these things. Because just because they might be one of the you know, you can you can still help them out. That'd be awesome. I mean, school out of school does an amazing job of educating kids in public schools. But it's just said that some schools can they do have the right to say no, and they will? [00:18:14] I know of them to a couple of schools, but I don't know. To me. Yeah. [00:18:22] With any mention of [00:18:24] angel? [00:18:26] Nope. No, absolutely nothing. I learned about condoms. And how to? I didn't even know No, no, we just learned how to have sex. We learn about condoms and what you could get from six [00:18:51] seconds go further. [00:18:59] I wanted to grow. [00:19:02] I wanted to grow bigger. [00:19:06] And, yeah, for the sake of topic here, because I know that the very many little tick tock boys within the modern community that just don't know it yet. And are being pushed aside. And, you know, being told that this kind of stuff is wrong. And and I want education for them. I want I want safe spaces for them. And yeah, that's what I want. [00:19:31] What about the trans community? Well, [00:19:36] okay, most safe spaces. [00:19:39] Actually, so far, I think the best thing that came out was an Oakland University is funding name changes for trans students at the University. And I thought that was awesome. And I was like, Why didn't you tell me this? A year ago, because I would have gone there, you could have paid for my name change, [00:19:58] saves 300. [00:20:02] But, um, that's amazing. And I think, I think really, what, what I want as well within the trans community, just for trans people, is that I would like to address want to be seen as cosmetic within New Zealand. And to be funders. Like, it's not that hard to save lives, you know? And, yeah, [00:20:29] kind of a little bit more about what the situation? [00:20:33] Well, most, basically, the only way to get top surgery surgery is you either have to come out and fund, go fund yourself or whatever, and write an entire essay about who you are and why people should give you money. But that's coming out. You need to either get a grant and those grants go I think, I believe once every two years to two people. And that's only for one surgery. And or you can either take out a medical loan or a loan from the bank and then be in debt for a very long time. Or you can just wait or you should need to or you've already got the money that's and in the the way it's it's still seen as cosmetic. And that's why can't really funders. And [00:21:29] yeah, that's really the only way that you can get surgeries right now. [00:21:33] And it is pretty expensive. is very, very expensive. Huh? Yeah. [00:21:42] Yeah, it's a really inaccessible coming with government not really taking it. Seriously. It's like a thing for me. [00:21:47] Yeah. Like hell, [00:21:48] yeah. Yeah, I would like that. That'd be amazing. [00:21:53] And what about like extra stuff, hormones and things like that. It's like this total. [00:22:00] My journey with hormones has actually been quite an easy one, which was very new to me. [00:22:10] I have been on hormones for about seven months now. [00:22:16] And I think all I basically did was I went to my doctor and told them that I wanted to start it. And they basically sent a letter to the endocrinologist in Wellington. And they set up a interview with him five months down the track, had an interview with him, they took a blood test and then I was on shots in a week. And [00:22:39] what I think you get a message [00:22:44] against the younger you like a [00:22:47] halfway [00:22:51] Okay, okay, what would it be? [00:22:54] Oh, God and be it definitely would be stay strong. Because I think MM learned patience because you will learn patience. I think over the past five, four or five years, I've learned so much patience. Like your your parents, they're meant a lot to you, but it's best just to give it time. And time could be 10 years time could be seven years time could be too but you will get through this and [00:23:30] kickoff. [00:23:36] And what's your favorite thing about being? [00:23:42] Oh, my favorite thing about being queer as the people. If I wasn't queer, I wouldn't have met the most amazing people in the entire world. So yeah.

This page features computer generated text of the source audio - it is not a transcript. The Artificial Intelligence Text is provided to help users when searching for keywords or phrases. The text has not been manually checked for accuracy against the original audio and will contain many errors.